Patricia Hoffman
  • Female
  • Edison, NJ
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 51 year old married mother of 3 and grandmother of 3. I suffer from Panic Disorder/OCD, & Clinical depression. I am not doing well at all and feel I cant make it through this, like I am going to wind up in an institution or go crazy, I cant look at her pictures, her playroom, or eat because she loved to eat so much.
About my Loss:
Last week my 3 year old Grabndaughter Olivia had an astham attack at our house on our watch, it was her first attack, but she has alwaysbeena sickly child, they could never really find out what was wrong with her. she was in the hospital for a few things, she needed thumb surgery, something was wrong with her eye, but ahs was always sucha a happy little girl, regardless of having to take meds masks, etc, 2 times per day. She was the love of my life, along with my other 2 grandchildren here older brother Dylan, and her cousin Michaels 11 months. She was fine that night she stood with us, and then in the morning she couldnt breath, but she never stopped, the 911 got here in 6 minutes, and by then, she stopped breathing and they had to intubate her in the ambulance, after many tests they realized her brain had been deprived of oxygen, and her brain cells started to die, then they did am MRI and realized the worse was happening. enentually, the machine was breathing for her totally, and they turned if off when she was declared brain dead.

Patricia Hoffman's Blog

Going on our first vacation tomorrow since my 3 year old granddaughter Olivia passed....

I dont know how I am going to make it through it.........she was supposed to be there.............all I am doing is crying and wanting her back & missing her so much...........this is just wrong, she wasnt supposed to go before us or her parents........I dont know how I am going on everyday, other than the crying for the last 6 weeks, and looking forward to sleep..... :(

Posted on May 22, 2013 at 1:09pm — 1 Comment

Comment Wall (14 comments)

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At 12:24pm on July 18, 2013, l said…
Thank you for your comment. It helped. I am sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.
At 10:41am on June 21, 2013, Patricia Hoffman said…

I lost my mom 2 weeks ago as well, I dont think I can through all this, we were very close

At 1:10am on June 21, 2013, l said…

Thank you Patricia for your thoughts.. on Need help healing...

I am so sorry regarding the loss of your grandchild. I will pray for you.

At 4:38pm on June 4, 2013, Connie K said…
Patricia
I Am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. It must be so hard to deal with all of this grief. please a know you are not alone and we are all sending prayers.
At 6:45pm on May 22, 2013, Bonnie Jacobs said…

I want to thank you all for your warmth and comments.  At a time like this you can't have too many friends and I think of you all as my friends.

 

At 12:04pm on May 17, 2013, Dennis C. said…
I am so very sorry about your terrible loss.

Grandchildren are such a wonderful gift.

If there is anything that we can do to comfort you, please let us know.
At 3:38pm on May 10, 2013, Connie K said…

Hi Patricia
 My name is Connie and I lost my only son in a tragic car accident 5 months ago. He was seventeem. I am so sorry for your horrible loss. I can ralte to the overwhelming feeling of grief consuming your while being. I sometimes feel I am going to go instantly insane when that nightmare reality seeps in. It helps me to read meditations from others who are making their way through life with this loss. Being outside and hiking help me. I know it is hard and I just wanted to send you a cyber hug. Try to have faith that your grand daughter is still alive in spirit and is with you and help you get through things when you just don't know how you will. This is the only way I survive.Energy never dies it just changes form. And the love you shared with her will always be there and never change.

At 11:19pm on May 7, 2013, theresa ouellette (wells) said…

thanks for the chat i hope you things get better hugs to you

At 11:57am on April 19, 2013, Dennis C. said…
Sometimes we can feel absolutely helpless and hopeless.

But when all is said and done, it is ok to grieve, but you also need to develop HOPE.

Here is a scripture that describes a resurrection of a twelve year old

* Mark 5:41,42 — And, taking the hand of the young child, he said to her: “Tal′i·tha cu′mi,” which, translated, means: “Maiden, I say to you, Get up!” 42 And immediately the maiden rose and began walking, for she was twelve years old. And at once they were beside themselves with great ecstasy. *

Notice that the family "they were beside themselves with great ecstasy"

One day we will be reunited with our loved ones. I know that doesn't take the pain away, but it does give us HOPE!
At 6:38am on April 19, 2013, Dennis C. said…
Also - go to this discussion

http://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/forum/topics/when-someone-you-love-dies

Please follow the link you find there to a brochure on grieving etc.
 
 
 

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bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
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