Jeff C
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  • Denver, CO
  • United States
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  • Stephanie Mason
  • Ruthie
  • Helen gardner
  • Alice Thompson
  • kathleen akin
  • bluebird

Jeff C's Discussions

"Loves Knows No Death" - This Could Help You!
22 Replies

First, I don't mean to offend anyone.  If you don't agree with my viewpoint, please ignore this post.  I am really only trying to help.As I have mentioned before, I am a total hardcore skeptic of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jean Oct 1, 2016.

I Feel Bad About My Thinking This Way
4 Replies

Three weeks ago I lost the love of my life to breast cancer.  I did everything I could for her.  My story appears here, if you're interested.  …Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Jul 6, 2016.

Things That We Learn
18 Replies

I never knew how hard it was to lose someone until I experienced a loss firsthand.People will say these things - drives me crazy.  I know they mean well, but...1. She's in a better place.2. God had…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jeff C May 6.

Just Lost My Girlfriend to Breast Cancer Last Week
4 Replies

PART 1I knew it was coming, but I am broken.    If you're interested, I have chronicled our experiences here:  …Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jeff C Jul 20, 2016.

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Latest Activity

Jeff C replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"I agree. Especially with the ""He wouldn't want you to be so sad" line.  We don't know what he/she would want.  Either way, it really doesn't matter.  Being devastated is a natural reaction to this kind…"
May 6
Jackie cooke replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"Today, are you feeling better now, well suppose it is 8 weeks now!! I'm not Ill, I'm not going to ever feel better, this can't be cured with tablets. No I'm not feeling better, everyday I feel worse, reality is setting in and i…"
May 6
Louise replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"I hate that one, fucking stupid!"
May 5
JO B replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"q thng i did lern its tk me so ao long 3 lern  lif is full of bull shit u get tld 1 thg th a difrtent thng evn ovr a loss or it ex ther tim u shud get ovr it bt why shud we or 1s its giv u hrfd tim ovr loss u giv me grief its a ,oss os wott im…"
May 5
Nora replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"Just heard another 2: 10. It could be worse - what can be worth than death? 11. Thanks, God, you have no little children - do you think it helps? Next time somebody will tell me - Thanks, God, you do not have 10 houses!"
May 5
Nora replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"There are 5 more things should be added: 5. (after time heals was added) You will be OK 6. What can I do for you? (and evaporate into thin air right away) 7. Call me if you need anything (meaning go straight to my voicemail that I never chek) 8. I…"
May 5
rachel_micele replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"Bluebird, thank you so much for your straightforward honesty in your posts. I so appreciate you."
May 5
bluebird replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"rachel, I feel exactly the same way."
May 5
rachel_micele replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"Oh yes, the meaningless, bullshit, fucking platitudes of the naive. There are so many and that is what's so sad of our society. The first one that comes to mind as pissing me off the most is people saying, "He wouldn't want you to be…"
May 5
Jackie cooke replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"You have said exactly what I feel, it's so true, in a better place, FFS, Shirl loved being with me, I loved being with her, wherever she is now she won't be at peace cos she's not with me. Plans, we had plans, she was to young to die,…"
May 5
Dennis C. replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"Everyone of those responses really blame God for your loss. None of them are correct. The Bible uses an interesting term for those that have died. It says that they have "Fallen ASLEEP in death." It also tells us that death is an…"
May 5
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I have what I call a fake friend who pretends to care about me.  She lost her husband 20 years ago, so you think she'd be a little more familiar with this.  Throughout the late summer and fall we'd meet for dinner, with me always…"
May 4
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"It must be me.  I have an online friend who has experienced a major loss in her life, and she is having a hard time.  She has seen some videos recently which show that people who have crossed over in which it is said that they are very…"
May 2
silvia maria replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"I think people generally speaking are at a loss of words. And what they use is far from comforting really...sight"
Apr 23
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I talked to a medium today, the original one who had really come through the first time.  She got some things right today, but not anything that I could really hang my hat on, you know? Then, she gave me the ol' "she wants you to be…"
Apr 22
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I saw this the other day, and iI think it really describes this hell: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-natasha-josefowitz/loss-grief_b_5556644.html"
Apr 21

Profile Information

About Me:
Just a guy
About my Loss:
Breast cancer just took the love of my life last week.

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/8/topics/843804?page=1

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At 11:28pm on November 19, 2016, Helen gardner said…

Jeff thank you for recommending the book 'The light Between Us'. I believe that the strongest thing we have left now is that loving and being loved will pervade for all time both in this life and the next. I haven't felt any concrete signs in the sense of a butterfly or a humming bird such as others have felt but there is great comfort in feeling loved and that this goes beyond this world... I hope you are finding some comfort also in this book and in the knowledge  that you will be loved forever by your loved one who passed in June. helen 

At 11:34am on October 3, 2016, Ruthie said…

Jeff, I wanted to personally thank you for telling the group about the book the light between us.  It has given me so much comfort and hope and I am not even to the middle yet.  I had a tree frog on my window about every night this summer catching bugs and watching me--upstairs window--and then one night I went to the bathroom and there he was jumping down the hallway--and so many pennies I find right after something big happens.  So Crazy good:)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear bluebird, There are no words to offer you as you mark the fifth anniversary of your beloved husband's passing. I can only say that I feel deeply for you, and my heart aches at your pain. I know the feeling you are describing only too well.…"
10 hours ago
Amy Cowan joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
10 hours ago
MIchael Ortiz commented on Bethany's blog post Drowning...
"Its been 3 months since I lost my love. I had to do it alone. I hope you have family or someone you can just vent and they just listen.I still feel pain and ups and downs.One second I think I am better and boom.Have no clue what sets it off. Do what…"
11 hours ago
bluebird commented on Bethany's blog post Drowning...
"You aren't doing it to yourself -- your grief and your loss are doing it to you.  It sucks, but that's what grief and loss do.  It's quite common to feel that things are getting better for a while, and then find yourself…"
11 hours ago
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm so sorry, Bluebird. The mornings are a nightmare, I agree, but the late evenings, that prospect of slipping into unconsciousness (if only it could be permanent)can be such a relief. Your steadfast, committed love for your husband shines out…"
11 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, you know that you are not being the least bit irrational. My mom died on Christmas Eve. We all knew that it would be mom's last Christmas. She called him and asked him when he was coming. He said, "I'm not. My roommate is…"
13 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Exactly bluebird."
14 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have to say, Nancy, I envy you the 43 years. My husband and I were together for nearly 13 years, but married for only one week when he died (massive, unexpected heart attack).  But no matter how long a couple is together, when they are truly…"
15 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm exactly where you are bluebird. Only it's only been 4 months. We were married 43 years. Got married young. I know no other life."
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Mike H.'s blog post Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?
"No, of course it is not wrong to grieve.  My husband died 5 years ago today, and I will never stop grieving.  The course of grief and the response(s) to it are different for each person, and no one should ever tell another that…"
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Beckie Preston's blog post Lost
"Do you have family and/or friends you can turn to for help?  Do you intend to continue with your pregnancy, and, if so, do you plan to keep and raise the baby? I think the emotional support of loved ones would be very helpful to you right now,…"
15 hours ago
bluebird replied to Gabby Freeland's discussion I gave up before everyone else did
"I don't think you should feel bad.  When someone is ill for a long time, it's natural to start grieving quite a long time before that person actually dies.  Besides, you felt that way in part because you didn't want your mum…"
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today marks exactly five years since my husband died.  I still wish I had died when he did. For me, it's not the nights that are the worst part, it's the mornings.  Of course I do miss him at night -- I miss cuddling with him, I…"
15 hours ago
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Had better days than today.  My sister decides to move to my mom's native home for six months with her kids to renovate the house and in my head I'm yelling at her 'what's the use now. she's dead.'  My mom…"
17 hours ago
Patty replied to Karen's discussion STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Wow, that is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.    "
yesterday
Patty commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I just passed 7 years.  Everything Karen said below is ditto for me :'("
yesterday
Karen commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Sadly I seldom come to this page... I am so sorry about that ---  -I just hit a wall at some point where I realized I had nothing helpful to share & did not want to add to anyones pain.  -Brad's 10 year anniversary is drawing…"
yesterday
Karen replied to Karen's discussion STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"All these years later ... And when I do leave my house (as I have become so recluse) ---- I still hear insensitive comments just last week - I was told that not only was this gods plan I agreed to it before I was ever born.   ---- Where do…"
yesterday
Karen is now friends with Judith Borenin and Rita Estes
yesterday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's amazing the power of food shared together has.  I have broken down in the grocery store many times, almost every time I went during the first year.  Some things I can't go near and others give me great comfort.  I…"
yesterday

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