"I am not Jeff, but I think I can answer as well, since yes: Those were things I experienced.
I have cried so hard that I got sick and would almost vomit. I have thought of many things that would be so nice if they claimed my life at that moment.
"I understand very much. If it gets better at all, then you're probably looking at at least half a year.
It changes you. More than anything could have ever done, I think.
I can understand the diversion. I've also used my job to get my mind…"
"I am not sure, who you addressed in your post - the reply-limit is not really helping - but I wanted to weigh in on it anyways.
I have listened to many talks, and many accounts of NDEs. It is a bit sad that those are the only ways we get to know of…"
"Only that continuing to be happy is ... a chore for some. I may be looking for twenty-five more years in this existence, unless something ... big ... happens.
I don't know what the future holds, but if it happens, then with me still carrying…"
"I get it. Anything that reminds you of the love you shared, of how he adored you, hurts. And that includes comments that are meant to help you.
"He would want you to be happy!" - (I know, why do you think it hurts so much!?)
Thank you for…"
"I concur with Bluebird. If the picture hurts too much seeing it all the time, replace it with something else. A puppy, a flower, something you're okay with looking at for the time being.
But do not delete that picture.
Otherwise, if you need…"
"Enough time has passed that I am somewhat comfortable with relaying that dream. It is still vivid in my mind.
Usually when dreaming I have no trouble breathing, even if I am underwater within the dream, but that dream was very different.
It was like…"
"None of us is pushing you to get to a point in a year or later. I do not know about the others but I think we were all at the point where we didn't want to go on without our loves.
I remember that Bluebird stated that very effectively.
"First of all, I am sorry for your loss.
Bluebird was the one that attracted me to this site as well, and I am watching this thread ever since I lost my boyfriend.
We knew each other for three years only, so I might not be a good reference point, and…"
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"
""Moving forward with him", that is also what I feel. I am not in for another relationship, I am just living my life ... I still get sad thinking about the "loss" ... and even though many people laughed in the TED-Talk ... I felt…"
"I hold back from seeking death, as well...I still need to set an example for some people in my life. I also feel that maybe taking your own life might somehow then inhibit being able to connect with him, like maybe be in a different…"
I feel bad about your anniversary. It really hit me hard to read your words about how you cried that hard. I can't come up with anything to say, but I get it.
I am at 6 1/2 years. 6 1/2 lost years. "