Late 40s, older of two children, married, have a daughter 21.
About my Loss:
My father passed May 20th 2012, it was a beautiful sunny Sunday morning. It was just him and my mom, which I say is beautiful, they started their lives just the two of them and that is how their 50 years together ended just the two of them. My three grandparents and godfather all passed on a Saturday. My Dad was a wonderful man, loving husband and father. He lost his life to Cryogenic Cirrhosis. I knew the disease, I had seen some pass from it. It was so hard to watch him suffer, and I remember telling him it was OK to go. That I loved, we loved him and would take care of each other. I honestly meant those words, but I was not prepared for the emotional pain. The sitting in their home and just waiting for him to come out of somewhere and knowing in reality he wasn't going to. I find myself almost telling Mom to ask Dad a question like he is still here. Sometimes I feel like I am coming completely unglued. I am unable to provide support to my mother in her grieving because I cannot get past mine.
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.
God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her. Like yesterday, I found a small 3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me.
Joe, So true. That's exactly why I post here too. I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone. That consoles…"
I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all. Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
I saw your post late late last night. I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing. After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.
Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me. The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it. All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife. I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day. Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit. I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago. We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th…"