Late 40s, older of two children, married, have a daughter 21.
About my Loss:
My father passed May 20th 2012, it was a beautiful sunny Sunday morning. It was just him and my mom, which I say is beautiful, they started their lives just the two of them and that is how their 50 years together ended just the two of them. My three grandparents and godfather all passed on a Saturday. My Dad was a wonderful man, loving husband and father. He lost his life to Cryogenic Cirrhosis. I knew the disease, I had seen some pass from it. It was so hard to watch him suffer, and I remember telling him it was OK to go. That I loved, we loved him and would take care of each other. I honestly meant those words, but I was not prepared for the emotional pain. The sitting in their home and just waiting for him to come out of somewhere and knowing in reality he wasn't going to. I find myself almost telling Mom to ask Dad a question like he is still here. Sometimes I feel like I am coming completely unglued. I am unable to provide support to my mother in her grieving because I cannot get past mine.
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away.
Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone.
I feel like the hard reality…"
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came. But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry
I can’t put into…"
"Definitely a colder world now. I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom. It is so hard knowing she is gone. Knowing this is permanent. There is no one that can fill the void she left. My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
"My Mom also. I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust. I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone. I loved spending time with…"
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again. I lost part of me when she passed. Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety. Daily crying is part of my life. …"
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
"You and I experienced something very similar. You are not an anonymous person who lost her mother. I just wish that I knew the words that would make it all better. I don't. I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. All I know is that…"
"So glad you have your daughter. I was so close to my Dad & so many wonderful memories of time I spent with him. It has been over four months since I lost my Mom. I try to stay busy, but still have a lot of grief…"
Hope everybody doing good. My daughter is growing up and keeps me busy but any day I sit and feel guilty of not serving my mother, I feel like crying. She should have enjoyed so much with her grand daughter but destiny had some other…"