I GUESS IVE BEEN NUMB ABOUT EVERYTHING..BUT IS HITING ME HARD RIGHT NOW!!! I REMEMBER THE LAST FEW MONTHS WE SPEND TOGETHER..FIGHTING :'(.. I REGRET IT SO MUCH.. NOW THAT I DONT HAVE YOU I APPRECIATE U N I WISH GOD GAVE US ANOTHER CHANCE... IM LIVING LIFE WITH A HOLE IN MY HEART N WITH THIS EMPTYNESS ... I HATE THIS FEELING ..I HATE THAT THERES NOTHING THAT COULD MAKE THIS PAIN GO AWAY... ALL I WISH FOR EVERYDAY IS THAT I SEE U AGAIN..I PRAY GOD TO TAKE ME N TO UNDERSTAND I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU.. I HOPE HE LISTENS TO ME CAUSE I CANT DO THIS NO MORE I MISS YOU WITH ALL MY HEART... FORGIVE ME FOR LETTING YOU GO THAT DAY ..I LOVE YOU!!!

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Adriana,

 

My heart goes out to you. I sent you a message. The last time I saw my boyfriend I had stormed out mad and didn't see him again. 2 months to the day later he killed himself. I didn't contact him on his birthday a month after I last saw him and I wish I had. There are always what if's and if only's. It is hard, but eventually they become less painful.

Your husband still loves you from where he is. He is watching over you and your children. Do you talk to him? I find it helps, but everyone is different.

You are in my prayers,

Sandy

It is said that the emptiness in your heart can be fill in two ways.  One is with the bad thoughts you had about the person you lost or it can be filled with the happy moment you had together.  While I struggle with my emptiness I find both the sad and happy thoughts fill the void. 

 

I was not there when my wife committed suicide but I had a conversation with her that morning. I often wonder if it was something I said but it wasn't the first time she tried to kill herself.  I do have many happy memories that still haunt me almost 5 moths after the fact and that does help me some.  I often find myself at the front dorr looking down the street hoping to see her smiling face again but it never happens.  It will never happen.  Just cry and everything seems to fall apart for little while.. I go on without her.  I still love her very much. 

 

Hope this helps.

 

David

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