Karen, it's Frances.  Thank you for replying.  Think 2011 Holidays are gonna be worse than 2010 when we were in denial and shock.  God be with all my lonely, suffering friends.

Hello, Karen. I came across you and read your posts. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling for the loss of your young son. He was so full of dreams and hopes for the future. Like I said, I cannot imagine your pain but can relate to your emotions as I have been in this grief rollercoster myself since loosing my father, 63, and my young husband, 29.

I too, cannot seem to understand nor accept that my husband is gone. People and family continue to tell me that I need to stop crying and "accept" that he is no longer here. I CANNOT do that, he was just taken away from me so sudden and so soon. I continue to hold on to the tought that I will soon see him walking through that door and we will make up for time missed. I will tell him all the silly things, new words my son has learned while he was gone, and that we will again be together as a happy family, just as we were hours before he was killed. These toughts are the ones that keep me going forward, waking up every morning, going to work, caring for my son. I think that all of this frustration, agony, will be temporary. Family tell that he is in better place, no, a better place is here with me and our son. We had a whole life ahead of us. So many dreams and hopes for the future. They tell me that he is looking from above and watching over our son. But no, I need him here, physically. For him to laugh with me at the silly things my son does. Play with him, or even send him to time out. I question so many things myself, and ask what have I done wrong in this life to deserve this? My whole life changed in an instant. I was robbed from my husband, my soulmate, my everything was taken away from me. I no longer have my father either to rely on support, which has affected me a lot more now since my husband passing away. And I am so fearful of how this will also affect my young son. I have trouble with this "new" life.I desperetaly want my "old" life back.

Hi Karen,

                I am sooo very sorry for your loss. I was always at my grandma bedside in the chair too, I also begged my grandma to respond to me, but nothing. She was also in I.C.U.

Hi karen, my name is Libby I read your post and cryed with you for a moment. I have not lost a child but I have walked the path of grief many times. In the 32 years of my marriage my husband and I have lost 30 family members. I send you piece and calm, I know your heart has been filled with fear, that is part of it.. May I offer you some words? I hope they can help though I know you think nothing can.. Take Care of You .. for him

Our grief is personal it is our own, give yourself what you need in each moment to delay a need only makes it stronger, gently but firmly let friends and family know this. Cry when you need go where you need it's ok.You will get angry, that's ok too. He can handle it.

The spark the LIGHT of life that is in all of us the part that is of God chooses it's path the people it comes to, the life, loves and expieriance's it wishes to have and the time to go back.. it's all ok ...

That is all I have I hope in some small way it can help.

Karen,

I am so sorry for your loss. I have 4 children and as hard as my mothers death has been on me, I can't imagine losing one of them.  Thanks for helping me thru another day. Please keep in touch. Laura

Karen,

You inspire me. You give me the strength to get through each day since my wonderful mother Nancy died June 7, 2011. Thank you Karen. Love Sue