It's been 2 years since I lost my mother and my husband and I am still lost and still very much alone in my grief I haven't been on this site in a while I've been trying to get by every day it's not working too well I'm struggling really really hard my family is still not around I guess they think I am OK that I'm doing fine little do theyknow that I'm not they are coming to my house this Saturday for a cook out because it's something my mother wanted me to do that's the only reason I agreed to it but I'm wondering how it's going to go because I'm still angry and I know they're going to ask me how are you so my response to them is going to be how are you this way they'll talk about themselves and forget that I just didn't answer them because I know deep down they don't really care they don't understand the emptiness I feel and how lost I am they don't know that I stay up all day and all night crying because I don't tell them and I'm not going to so wish me luck

Views: 102

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by dream moon JO B on September 27, 2017 at 4:49am

yep no fealin bean 5 yrs sinse dad gon

iv tld foget him r els i cnt i no i feal bad coz im not bean fair 2 ther fealins

Comment by Susan Smith on September 27, 2017 at 4:18am
HI Pamela,

I'm really sorry you still feel the way you do. I'm exactly the same, I think I now have smiling depression. Our Mums death leaves a massive hole and a loss of identity as well. We had our Mums for so long and I truely believe how can we ever be the same. I hide how I feel as well and by doing this I don't think we have been able to grieve properly. I feel as if others have moved in and forgotten and we are expected to just act fine and even it we aren't fine would they be bothered anyway. My sibling rings me every week but I act jolly I don't feel jolly but I know he has moved in. He wasn't at my Mams death like I was, I was the only one with my Mam when she gasped her last breath, I still see her doing that and I won't be the same again. The question of our own mortality is what is causing me problems as well. I think I look back and wish that I and probably you could of said NO I aren't doing well I'm terrible it's almost as if if we said this now people think it's weird as it was months ago. X
Comment by Alice Thompson on September 25, 2017 at 5:09pm
Good luck, Pamela :-) It is so hard to live among others when your inner life is so different from theirs. I think that after the first year I gave up expecting anyone to understand what is really going on for me. Sometimes I tell them anyway, but it doesn't work out well. This is hell. A couple of weeks ago I had a great idea for a trip I could go on and enjoyed telling people about my plan. Then I looked at flights and accommodation on the internet and felt chilled to the bone. Somehow I forgot I wouldn't be able to enjoy it because he's not here. Will I never be able to enjoy a trip again?

Groups

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Our last trip together, cruise to the Bahamas. What a great memory."
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
Friday
Addie commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
Thursday
Addie joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Thursday
Profile IconAddie and Donald Perry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Wednesday
Profile IconMary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Tuesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All, This is now I cope with the loss of MY BELOVED HUSBAND AND SOULMATE JULIAN. I run marathons in his honor, it keeps me going. I ran 26.2 miles in his memory at 65."
Tuesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
Tuesday
Profile IconMichelle and Amanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 18
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When your ‘life force’ is taken away from you there is no will to go on.  It will be 5 years for me soon and many people think my grief has subsided as I seem to be functioning better, but as I said earlier we just become more adept…"
Mar 17
dream moon JO B commented on M Adams's blog post Who copes best with loss? Men or women?
"do not no wen dad died i loss my way for long tim u cud  say i did im f i am'thn loss folerd evn my cat i had for 16 yrs in 2016 wish she got me thru few dark tims she did  thn i gon to spirtaslt churchh  fond upliftmtn i di did…"
Mar 17

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service