No one is prepared for grief. The rush of feelings, the thoughts, anxieties, and heartache can take us by surprise and drive us to our knees. Yet, when we choose to harness that power for self-growth, amazing things can happen. Good can come from pain.

Learn to tell your story differently. Take the victim mentality out of the story of loss you tell yourself and others and replace it with the word survivor to return to a sense of control over your…

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The pain of grief is awful.  We may understand that the body needs to process grief to help us move on, but the question exists...Can we speed it up a little so it doesn't hurt so much?



The answer is Yes and No.  The pain of grief must be felt an experienced to be free from it.  The truth is, the faster you fully experience it, the quicker you'll have more 'non-grieving' periods that you can live your life.  So,…

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Every day it's gets harder and harder. The holidays were a blur and were not fun as they used to be. No one wants to give it at they're house. We got a rental room but it was timed...next year I may just go to Disneyland. I am in so much pain most of the time. I wanna live but I just my nephew was still here...wish I could have said good bye...he did so unexpectedly and suddenly...never got to say anything...I mis our talks and the funny stuff we used to talk about...I miss my nephew!!!

I miss being able to pick up the phone and talk to you, Mom. As I went through a box of your things today, I found your jewelry. Many pieces are ones that I gave you for different occasions and each one brought back such precious memories of times we shared. I'm trying so hard to hold on to those memories; the good times. It's just that this hole in my heart feels so big right now. In our last conversation, you told me of the dream you had the night before where Grandma came to you and held…

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Yesterday I said I was not going to dwell on the loss of my wife Cheryl, today I am, at least in this blog post.

It's another morning and I have been lying in bed for a few hours hoping to fall back asleep.  But I have had no luck.  My mind of course has been thinking of Cheryl.  Of the more than 31 years we knew each other, and how we had so many experiences together that we could always share a private laugh.  And now those memories are only mine.  They feel like such a…

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I am awake again, and have some anxiety.  When thoughts that I know just lead to pain have been entering my head, I try to change the subject.  Not having much luck right now, but I will continue doing it.  

I need to start to prepare for a trip on Tuesday.  Once again, I am going to attempt to return to work.  I failed a few weeks ago when I tried.  The physical and mental discomfort I felt while I waited at the gate for my delayed flight, led to a breakdown at the airport.…

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Today while I was eating lunch I had the television on, just as I always do.

I can't even remember what show I was watching now..

I had my head down, looking at my lunch- not in a sad mopey way but looking at what I was picking up with my fork. All of a sudden I heard Becky's voice. For real, not in my mind. I looked up and there she was. As beautiful as ever and alive. 

Months ago her and her boyfriend went on the show Judge Judy over a dispute with breeding their dog.…

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I miss my sister.

I miss her smile, her hugs, her smell, her laugh, the twinkle in her eye, her tenaciousness to make it on her own. I miss her pride, I miss her loving heart, I miss her bubbly personality, I miss her attitude. I miss how fiercely she loved her family and how much she worried about our mom. I miss how excited she got when she would see her nephews. I miss how intelligent she was - even when she was making stupid mistakes. I miss her and all she was and ever will…

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I don't understand how some people can be so insensitive, like they were never taught to be considerate of the loss of life, to think about what they say or how it affects the person they're saying it to. Last week my 7 year old son's physical therapist asked me, "So is your summer getting back to normal?" I was stunned...uuuuh let's see here; my son DIED on June 20, 2011, he was 18! He's not ever coming home. He's never going to be a chef. He's never going to be a husband. He's never going…

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What's to say when all is lost, when the words don't matter now

yet I find myself in constant need to spit them out somehow

struggling to convey to you although the moment's passed

to heed the words we spoke to you, but now the dye is cast

 

Days tick by, a silent count thrust upon my heart

one by one they pass me by, whisking me beyond and far

never leaving me time to breathe I beg time "slow down for me"

as though I had but whispered,…

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