Bereaved Mother's Day

Sharing this event as it is both in-person and virtual - Bereaved Mother's Day Conference 2022 - A Healing Collective

I wanted to write today about anger. After my son passed away, many of his friends wrote beautiful memories and feelings about him via Facebook. I didn't realize how much he meant to so many people and how many lives were touched by his kindness. However, what angers me is that not ONE of these "FRIENDS" ever came to visit him in the nursing home. He was in a nursing facility for 10 years and yet only his dad, myself and his stepdad came on a regular basis. I understand that it's hard to see…

 Here is the story of my son, Matthew-

He was an easy baby, full of smiles and laughter but a rather shy little boy. He was so gentle natured. He grew up to be a wonderful person. He was well liked by his schoolmates and continued to be a nice, sweet person. 

He wanted to be a 2nd grade teacher. He went to Community College, worked at PISD as a mentor and also worked part time at Tom Thumb.

When he turned 21, his life changed forever. He had been experiencing…

2 weeks ago today you left this Earth to begin your pain free journey with Jesus. I'm forever grateful to be one of your granddaughters, to have been loved endlessly by you. I miss so many things. I miss your smell, the way you looked at nanny, the way you would light up when I walked into the house, our texts with your emojis; and so much more. 

It feels like it was 10 minutes ago that I checked for a pulse knowing in my head that there wouldn't be one because you had taken…

My aunt passed away towards the end of June 2021.  We were never particularly close, I visited her in California for a couple weeks when I was in middle school, but otherwise contact was limited.  She had some medical issues that prevented her from having children and (what I pieced together) a strained relationship with her father that caused her to sever most ties with the family, with perhaps some jealousy towards the family that my father was able to have.  When she passed away I went…

2021 lozzin my mom thn lozzin my unlc in mnths aprt iv got no 1 famlyy hav ther oqnn ownn livss 

iv no hubby or bf to suprtt me im not fealin sorry forr my slf juts fealin loww on all loss iv had in lst 10 20 30 yrs iv had

When I started getting into medical writing, I was looking for a reliable resource for information on CBD reviews of CBD products. I wanted to find a resource with scientific data that had information that could be used by parents, teachers, pharmacists, professionals, and other health care professionals in making informed decisions about therapeutic and potential uses of CBD extracts. In my effort to find such a resource I came across many websites, including some that had nothing to do…

She was my world I am all alone now what do I do I can't breathe

feal so alon sinse lozin mom i no its coz of cov 19 ruls 

feal lk frindss dnt wontt to me nevr agan coz it hapnd wen dad died had peppl cross st not speek 2 me

peppl saed thy wud keep in toch nop dnt seam 2 wontt to no me

but soons thy need me mugns is ther for evry 1…

Dear anyone reading this, 

<Sidenote First>>>...The night before the support group meeting, Jen appeared in my dreams again.  We were back at high school age.  I sat down with her at a lunch table, but it felt like we hadn't 'officially' met yet.  Awkward stares and moments of silence.  I started to talk and then she was standing, staring, concerned.  It had a feeling like, "How dare you talk to me, you don't know me."  Well, maybe not that harsh, but definitely a…

I had a conversation right after a posting that I put on Facebook referencing Jen (and since deleted) with a friend.  They made a comment about the possibility of a 'spirit' being trapped in limbo if the griever does not release them (get through the grief).  The comment has been rattling around in my brain for a couple months, and not in a good way.  It hurt.  It angered me.  The message received by me was that I was harming (trapping at least) her spirit by still being grief…

I thought I was done. Recovery in process. Moving on...But the Tilt-A-Whirl does not stop. Or maybe it is more accurate to say that my mind does not let it stop.

I was not sure if my mic would work on here

I lost my mum today I did

Now the numbness is setting in again

I think I must have been on autopilot all day no it's starting to sit in and kick in again like I did 9 year ago

Things are just resonating with me today, I guess, and I'm actually in a place where I can write my thoughts. I read this one just a bit ago... "Feelings of grief recede, but feelings of loss remain ever-present."

Another one that hits home as I define what this journey is that I'm on. It seems to more accurately describe how I have felt all along. As I was a 2-year old when my Mother died 42-plus years ago, I don't think I could have had the capacity to consciously grieve.…

I just read something that I hope will stick with me for some time to come.

"Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried."

I am not sure why right now, but that seems to resonate with me. I have carried grief with me my entire life, and I feel like for the longest time I was hoping I'd wake up one day and realize the shroud of grief hanging on my shoulders was finally gone. That day still has not come. However, maybe it is not realistic to expect that…

I think I have known for awhile that my grief is not supposed to be my identity. I think I know that my identity should be defined by the human I have become, despite my loss and my grief. However, trying to figure out who I really am seems to be both a struggle, and it's scary. I feel like I can only identify some of the things that I am and am not. I try to not highlight the things I don't really like about me. I try to focus on the positive things I know I am. But, I spend too much time…

I'm not sure if I am grieving in a positive and healthy way. All I really know for sure is that I miss my family, ...especially my sister, Melissa. Melissa had a way of making me feel important, needed, loved, cared for, special, and she had a way of lighting up a room. I am having difficulty with life in general without her. The world seems so much smaller and darker since she passed. Not near as light-hearted or inviting as before.

My sister taught me to be more accepting of…

I still have no idea why I've been feeling so unwell, and today makes day 5

I haven't been feeling well these past couple of days. My ears hurt, my head hurts, and I have been so nauseated.