Betty Ellsworth
  • Female
  • El Paso, TX
  • United States
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Betty Ellsworth commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Whoever came up with dnr. Must have been a sadistic person.  I lost my mom over three ago.  Now I'm hearing ads of cures and treatments and now have the guilt.  I keep hear the words of the doctor that I was tying his hands and I…"
May 13
Brenda Ann replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Oh Bett signedy my heart breaks for you...  A DNR is a legal document that your mother put her signature on after she made her decision to not be kept alive by machines. How that makes you gold digging b'''' is beyond…"
Jan 11
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Kris, you touched on something that needs to be understood. A DNR does not guarantee life. It may buy us some time, but who does that really benefit? I wish that my mom had said, "Do everything possible to keep me alive" but she did not.…"
Dec 17, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, my mom had a DNR and I hated it, but my mom chose that for herself. A lot has to do with a person's physical state. My mom was old and fragile. CPR could actually break ribs. Mom had had enough pain. I could have ripped that it up but…"
Dec 17, 2018
Kris Baclawski replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty: I can relate to your experience with my mother's passing.   Mom had an uncontrollable severe intestinal bleed out that could only be fixed with emergency surgery.  There were no good options about the surgery, but I remember…"
Dec 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Never ending

The holidays are around the corner. On the 26th three years ago my mom slipped into a coma. I rushed to the hospital with her DNR only to be told I was tying the doctor hands. I would a murderer golddigging bitch. I stood by her wishes. I prayed over day and night. She woke up on new years and was told three days later they had to release her. She did qualify for hospice since she had more a year to live. On the third she was moved to a long term rehabilitation. On the 7 th i was told same…See More
Dec 17, 2018
Sun replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty I wish I could find a good reply for you. I  feel deep loneliness and sadness since the death of my mother last  month.My wish is to die like her. Iam Crying everyday, go to work even on weekend, skipping meals, feeling like a…"
Oct 29, 2018
Virginia G replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I can relate to you in many ways unfortunately.  I am an only child, still live with my Dad but we are not close.  My Mom is my best friend.   I feel extreme guilt for not using the respirator, even though I dont think she…"
Oct 25, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I want to say something to help you. I just don't know what that something is. I haven't got a clue because I am still brokenhearted myself. I feel like I can relate to you. I hope it's at least a comfort to know that…"
Oct 23, 2018
Michael Thompson replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hello Betty Ellsworth, "nobody can relate"!.    How very true this is!.  I lost my wife to bowel cancer in 2014, we were married 22 years. I dont know the trick to getting and feeling better, but I do know that somehow we…"
Oct 23, 2018
Avi replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi BettyI can understand your pain as I lost my mom on 15 May 2018. It is still very demotivating to live as I am not only fighting with grief of losing my mother but also guilt of not taking complete care of her during her cancer days. But I…"
Oct 23, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Does it ever end?

It been nearly three years since my mom died. I still cry every day. They say the pain will dull in time and for it increased as the days goes by. I can't help thinking if I had kept my mouth shut would she be alive today?.... Did me mentioniong the DNR kill her?I feel my only happiness is when I die. I'm so tired of living. So tired of putting on a happy face.The holidays for the most part are not bad. We only celebrate thanksgiving and I work all holidays. Lol my boss gave off thanksgiving!I…See More
Oct 22, 2018
Betty Ellsworth replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? in the group I miss my Mom!
"I know this feeling well.  I too was my mother caregiver for many years and only child.  My mother was my whole life.  I had a job and her for many years. When I saw a decline in her health no one would listen.  I keep thinking…"
Mar 30, 2018
Betty Ellsworth commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Does the pain ever go away.  Its been two years.  I still cry almost every nite.  Her doctor called me a murderer when I gave him her DNR.  I will always wonder would she still be with me?  On her anniversary of death I got…"
Jan 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Jan 17, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my mom this year. She was my only my only family member

Betty Ellsworth's Blog

Greig is bad enough now its impossible to get help thanks obam

I lost my mom over a year. I cry every day. I keep hearing the doctor's words I was going to kill her if I did not place her on life support. I keep thinking of the promises I broke..,,,she died alone..,,in a hospital....people praying over her.



Lol thanks to Obama care does not cover depression. Lol I would have to be suicidal or an addict to get help.



With all this now happening I can not even have my mothers ashes. A day after she passed I followed her wish....to donate… Continue

Posted on January 25, 2017 at 12:05pm

Almost a year

My mom was my only family its been almost a year since left. Every nite I cry. Every nite I look for a sign she has forgiven. If she can not forgive me then how do forgive myself. I promised her she would die in a hospital, and she did want people pray over her, she died in the arms of strangers..,,praying strangers.I keep hearing the words of doctor..,,,,you are tying my hands...her only hope is being put on life support. I did not listen. I showed him the den. He told me I would murdering her… Continue

Posted on December 22, 2016 at 3:06am

the pain and guilt never ends.

I lost my mom 7 months ago she was my only family member.  I have been her care giver for nearly 10 years  She battle COPD, Congestive heart failure, renal failure and diabetic.  In December 2014 her heart doctor informed me she had a year to live.   I thought he was crazy.  Her primary doctor did not agree.   She came home in March of 2015 after recoverying from heart surgery.   I notice an increase of things she was unable to do.  Her mental alertness and memory was gone.  She had lost…

Continue

Posted on August 11, 2016 at 5:48am

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Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Jul 16
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Jul 16
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Jul 16
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Jul 15

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