Betty Ellsworth
  • Female
  • El Paso, TX
  • United States
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Brenda Ann replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Oh Bett signedy my heart breaks for you...  A DNR is a legal document that your mother put her signature on after she made her decision to not be kept alive by machines. How that makes you gold digging b'''' is beyond…"
Jan 11
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Kris, you touched on something that needs to be understood. A DNR does not guarantee life. It may buy us some time, but who does that really benefit? I wish that my mom had said, "Do everything possible to keep me alive" but she did not.…"
Dec 17, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, my mom had a DNR and I hated it, but my mom chose that for herself. A lot has to do with a person's physical state. My mom was old and fragile. CPR could actually break ribs. Mom had had enough pain. I could have ripped that it up but…"
Dec 17, 2018
Kris Baclawski replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty: I can relate to your experience with my mother's passing.   Mom had an uncontrollable severe intestinal bleed out that could only be fixed with emergency surgery.  There were no good options about the surgery, but I remember…"
Dec 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Never ending

The holidays are around the corner. On the 26th three years ago my mom slipped into a coma. I rushed to the hospital with her DNR only to be told I was tying the doctor hands. I would a murderer golddigging bitch. I stood by her wishes. I prayed over day and night. She woke up on new years and was told three days later they had to release her. She did qualify for hospice since she had more a year to live. On the third she was moved to a long term rehabilitation. On the 7 th i was told same…See More
Dec 17, 2018
Sun replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty I wish I could find a good reply for you. I  feel deep loneliness and sadness since the death of my mother last  month.My wish is to die like her. Iam Crying everyday, go to work even on weekend, skipping meals, feeling like a…"
Oct 29, 2018
Virginia G replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I can relate to you in many ways unfortunately.  I am an only child, still live with my Dad but we are not close.  My Mom is my best friend.   I feel extreme guilt for not using the respirator, even though I dont think she…"
Oct 25, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I want to say something to help you. I just don't know what that something is. I haven't got a clue because I am still brokenhearted myself. I feel like I can relate to you. I hope it's at least a comfort to know that…"
Oct 23, 2018
Michael Thompson replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hello Betty Ellsworth, "nobody can relate"!.    How very true this is!.  I lost my wife to bowel cancer in 2014, we were married 22 years. I dont know the trick to getting and feeling better, but I do know that somehow we…"
Oct 23, 2018
Avi replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi BettyI can understand your pain as I lost my mom on 15 May 2018. It is still very demotivating to live as I am not only fighting with grief of losing my mother but also guilt of not taking complete care of her during her cancer days. But I…"
Oct 23, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Does it ever end?

It been nearly three years since my mom died. I still cry every day. They say the pain will dull in time and for it increased as the days goes by. I can't help thinking if I had kept my mouth shut would she be alive today?.... Did me mentioniong the DNR kill her?I feel my only happiness is when I die. I'm so tired of living. So tired of putting on a happy face.The holidays for the most part are not bad. We only celebrate thanksgiving and I work all holidays. Lol my boss gave off thanksgiving!I…See More
Oct 22, 2018
Betty Ellsworth replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? in the group I miss my Mom!
"I know this feeling well.  I too was my mother caregiver for many years and only child.  My mother was my whole life.  I had a job and her for many years. When I saw a decline in her health no one would listen.  I keep thinking…"
Mar 30, 2018
Betty Ellsworth commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Does the pain ever go away.  Its been two years.  I still cry almost every nite.  Her doctor called me a murderer when I gave him her DNR.  I will always wonder would she still be with me?  On her anniversary of death I got…"
Jan 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Jan 17, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my mom this year. She was my only my only family member

Betty Ellsworth's Blog

Greig is bad enough now its impossible to get help thanks obam

I lost my mom over a year. I cry every day. I keep hearing the doctor's words I was going to kill her if I did not place her on life support. I keep thinking of the promises I broke..,,,she died alone..,,in a hospital....people praying over her.



Lol thanks to Obama care does not cover depression. Lol I would have to be suicidal or an addict to get help.



With all this now happening I can not even have my mothers ashes. A day after she passed I followed her wish....to donate… Continue

Posted on January 25, 2017 at 12:05pm

Almost a year

My mom was my only family its been almost a year since left. Every nite I cry. Every nite I look for a sign she has forgiven. If she can not forgive me then how do forgive myself. I promised her she would die in a hospital, and she did want people pray over her, she died in the arms of strangers..,,praying strangers.I keep hearing the words of doctor..,,,,you are tying my hands...her only hope is being put on life support. I did not listen. I showed him the den. He told me I would murdering her… Continue

Posted on December 22, 2016 at 3:06am

the pain and guilt never ends.

I lost my mom 7 months ago she was my only family member.  I have been her care giver for nearly 10 years  She battle COPD, Congestive heart failure, renal failure and diabetic.  In December 2014 her heart doctor informed me she had a year to live.   I thought he was crazy.  Her primary doctor did not agree.   She came home in March of 2015 after recoverying from heart surgery.   I notice an increase of things she was unable to do.  Her mental alertness and memory was gone.  She had lost…

Continue

Posted on August 11, 2016 at 5:48am

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Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
5 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm now having sleeping problems lately.  Go figure.  I sent you a message Monty. Comforting to see all the posting here.  But, scary to see all the 5,6,7 years since....  God have mercy."
20 hours ago
Profile IconMichelle and Amanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
20 hours ago
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When your ‘life force’ is taken away from you there is no will to go on.  It will be 5 years for me soon and many people think my grief has subsided as I seem to be functioning better, but as I said earlier we just become more adept…"
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on M Adams's blog post Who copes best with loss? Men or women?
"do not no wen dad died i loss my way for long tim u cud  say i did im f i am'thn loss folerd evn my cat i had for 16 yrs in 2016 wish she got me thru few dark tims she did  thn i gon to spirtaslt churchh  fond upliftmtn i di did…"
yesterday
Billy Jo Colt commented on M Adams's blog post Bad behaviour
"Thank you for such a wonderful, in depth and reflective post. It sounds like your Mom really had the devotion and love she richly deserved from you. As you said. The Doctors could have done a lot more. It was if they didn't want involved unless…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friend's, Big Deal, It's St. Patrick's Day. All is does to me is relieve my Husband's death. In 2013 he passed away 2 months after St. Patrick's Day. We did go out to dinner together put he was in so much pain we had…"
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello friends, I’m so grateful to read your honesty about this hell on earth, this unbearable grief that we have (almost) no choice but to bear. I’m sorry I don’t contribute more often. When I think of something to write, in my…"
Sunday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Have been reading comments from the past few days.   Yes, grief is lonely.   I'm so thankful for this group.  Like Joe says, it's really difficult not having our better half here physically, just to appreciate…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, Yes, we all pretty much have found that grief is not a bump on the head.  It is a ripping apart of a quantum soul.  For me it has become an all encompassing desire to plead with the universe to take me.  I do it as I have now…"
Sunday
Melissa is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Same as you if I am not posting anymore God has finally taken me. It will be a joyous day."
Saturday
M Adams left a comment for Sue Toler
"So sorry you’re going through such a grievous loss — my mother died recently as well, we were very close and I had been there helping her because she was having increasingly complex health problems over the last five years, so I feel…"
Friday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That you all for your kind compassion.  Just plain hell today as usual.  Tears at times and don't know when or what will trigger them.  The only time I venture out is my daily visit to the cemetery (closest I can be to Her…"
Friday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, My heart ached for you when I read of your breakdown day.  We feel your intense pain and heartache.  Over time we become so adept at carrying our grief, stuffing it and hiding it.  Yet so many times we become so overwhelmed by…"
Friday
Sue Toler updated their profile
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, So sorry to hear about your day. My doctor was the same way with me when I had a breakdown, he could have cared less. Thank God for our friends here who truly understand."
Friday
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's video
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Be thou my vision - (with lyrics)

"dont no why but it  it so sothin relzinin i do"
Friday
dream moon JO B posted a video
Friday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us."
Thursday

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