Betty Ellsworth
  • Female
  • El Paso, TX
  • United States
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Betty Ellsworth commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Whoever came up with dnr. Must have been a sadistic person.  I lost my mom over three ago.  Now I'm hearing ads of cures and treatments and now have the guilt.  I keep hear the words of the doctor that I was tying his hands and I…"
May 13
Brenda Ann replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Oh Bett signedy my heart breaks for you...  A DNR is a legal document that your mother put her signature on after she made her decision to not be kept alive by machines. How that makes you gold digging b'''' is beyond…"
Jan 11
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Kris, you touched on something that needs to be understood. A DNR does not guarantee life. It may buy us some time, but who does that really benefit? I wish that my mom had said, "Do everything possible to keep me alive" but she did not.…"
Dec 17, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, my mom had a DNR and I hated it, but my mom chose that for herself. A lot has to do with a person's physical state. My mom was old and fragile. CPR could actually break ribs. Mom had had enough pain. I could have ripped that it up but…"
Dec 17, 2018
Kris Baclawski replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty: I can relate to your experience with my mother's passing.   Mom had an uncontrollable severe intestinal bleed out that could only be fixed with emergency surgery.  There were no good options about the surgery, but I remember…"
Dec 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Never ending

The holidays are around the corner. On the 26th three years ago my mom slipped into a coma. I rushed to the hospital with her DNR only to be told I was tying the doctor hands. I would a murderer golddigging bitch. I stood by her wishes. I prayed over day and night. She woke up on new years and was told three days later they had to release her. She did qualify for hospice since she had more a year to live. On the third she was moved to a long term rehabilitation. On the 7 th i was told same…See More
Dec 17, 2018
Sun replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty I wish I could find a good reply for you. I  feel deep loneliness and sadness since the death of my mother last  month.My wish is to die like her. Iam Crying everyday, go to work even on weekend, skipping meals, feeling like a…"
Oct 29, 2018
Virginia G replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I can relate to you in many ways unfortunately.  I am an only child, still live with my Dad but we are not close.  My Mom is my best friend.   I feel extreme guilt for not using the respirator, even though I dont think she…"
Oct 25, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I want to say something to help you. I just don't know what that something is. I haven't got a clue because I am still brokenhearted myself. I feel like I can relate to you. I hope it's at least a comfort to know that…"
Oct 23, 2018
Michael Thompson replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hello Betty Ellsworth, "nobody can relate"!.    How very true this is!.  I lost my wife to bowel cancer in 2014, we were married 22 years. I dont know the trick to getting and feeling better, but I do know that somehow we…"
Oct 23, 2018
Avi replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi BettyI can understand your pain as I lost my mom on 15 May 2018. It is still very demotivating to live as I am not only fighting with grief of losing my mother but also guilt of not taking complete care of her during her cancer days. But I…"
Oct 23, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Does it ever end?

It been nearly three years since my mom died. I still cry every day. They say the pain will dull in time and for it increased as the days goes by. I can't help thinking if I had kept my mouth shut would she be alive today?.... Did me mentioniong the DNR kill her?I feel my only happiness is when I die. I'm so tired of living. So tired of putting on a happy face.The holidays for the most part are not bad. We only celebrate thanksgiving and I work all holidays. Lol my boss gave off thanksgiving!I…See More
Oct 22, 2018
Betty Ellsworth replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? in the group I miss my Mom!
"I know this feeling well.  I too was my mother caregiver for many years and only child.  My mother was my whole life.  I had a job and her for many years. When I saw a decline in her health no one would listen.  I keep thinking…"
Mar 30, 2018
Betty Ellsworth commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Does the pain ever go away.  Its been two years.  I still cry almost every nite.  Her doctor called me a murderer when I gave him her DNR.  I will always wonder would she still be with me?  On her anniversary of death I got…"
Jan 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Jan 17, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my mom this year. She was my only my only family member

Betty Ellsworth's Blog

Greig is bad enough now its impossible to get help thanks obam

I lost my mom over a year. I cry every day. I keep hearing the doctor's words I was going to kill her if I did not place her on life support. I keep thinking of the promises I broke..,,,she died alone..,,in a hospital....people praying over her.



Lol thanks to Obama care does not cover depression. Lol I would have to be suicidal or an addict to get help.



With all this now happening I can not even have my mothers ashes. A day after she passed I followed her wish....to donate… Continue

Posted on January 25, 2017 at 12:05pm

Almost a year

My mom was my only family its been almost a year since left. Every nite I cry. Every nite I look for a sign she has forgiven. If she can not forgive me then how do forgive myself. I promised her she would die in a hospital, and she did want people pray over her, she died in the arms of strangers..,,praying strangers.I keep hearing the words of doctor..,,,,you are tying my hands...her only hope is being put on life support. I did not listen. I showed him the den. He told me I would murdering her… Continue

Posted on December 22, 2016 at 3:06am

the pain and guilt never ends.

I lost my mom 7 months ago she was my only family member.  I have been her care giver for nearly 10 years  She battle COPD, Congestive heart failure, renal failure and diabetic.  In December 2014 her heart doctor informed me she had a year to live.   I thought he was crazy.  Her primary doctor did not agree.   She came home in March of 2015 after recoverying from heart surgery.   I notice an increase of things she was unable to do.  Her mental alertness and memory was gone.  She had lost…

Continue

Posted on August 11, 2016 at 5:48am

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Profile IconKayla and Jazi joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
1 hour ago
Billy Jo Colt commented on Kelli Auerbach's blog post New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
Friday
Kelli Auerbach posted a blog post

New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
Friday
Profile IconKelli Auerbach, Fedor Malkin and Jan McCracken joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Coartney Hale updated their profile
Thursday
Coartney Hale posted photos
Thursday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Everyone sounds a little down today.   And that's OK.   I do the same thing.   I am learning how to move on with life.  I know that there will never be another Joe.  He was my life, my love.  I miss…"
Thursday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Over the last couple of days, I've had some real negative thoughts, scary to say the least.  I know I'll never see her here with me again, which I know but can't accept, but today I questioned is she here with me in spirit? …"
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, not that I am glad to  hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living.  At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok.  That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise.  And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead.  It's not possible for me to accept it either.  I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive.  The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable.  While I'm not in that…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Nobody really understands except for the members on this website. It was a life saver for me. Thanks to all of you who share your posts and the support we give each other."
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, yes.  Linda, yes.  Marita, yes.  Bulebird, Yes.  I'm becoming paralyzed to the point of petrification.  NOTHING MATTERS except what we all know what it is.  We can't go back and we can't accept…"
Wednesday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here, Marita. Things I would have been able to deal with before (either before I met my husband, or while he was here with me), I cannot handle at all now. Any tiny problem is insurmountable. Everything is. Morgan, I am truly sorry you are…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, i live with constant fear and anxiety. Every time I am confronted with a new problem I break down because my husband is not here to support me, to comfort me, to love me and it is a reminder of my loss.  When things become so…"
Wednesday
Rosaisela is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, My whole problem with myself is I just can't accept my Husband's death and there is a not a thing I can do about it. I want things back the way things were. So to avoid all my breakdowns I try to numb myself with beer. I don't…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I felt something very similar. After a year the pain and shock of mom's death had eased somewhat, but the guilt increased. I learned that grief is a process that has many different facets. I am really amazed by the folks who seem to…"
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Terrible,horrible, crippling breakdown tonight.  I know what triggered it and it is something I have struggled with all these years and the closer I get to trying to solve it the worse the breakdowns are becoming. Problem is I am still unable…"
Wednesday

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