Betty Ellsworth
  • Female
  • El Paso, TX
  • United States
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Brenda Ann replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Oh Bett signedy my heart breaks for you...  A DNR is a legal document that your mother put her signature on after she made her decision to not be kept alive by machines. How that makes you gold digging b'''' is beyond…"
Friday
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Kris, you touched on something that needs to be understood. A DNR does not guarantee life. It may buy us some time, but who does that really benefit? I wish that my mom had said, "Do everything possible to keep me alive" but she did not.…"
Dec 17, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, my mom had a DNR and I hated it, but my mom chose that for herself. A lot has to do with a person's physical state. My mom was old and fragile. CPR could actually break ribs. Mom had had enough pain. I could have ripped that it up but…"
Dec 17, 2018
Kris Baclawski replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Never ending in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty: I can relate to your experience with my mother's passing.   Mom had an uncontrollable severe intestinal bleed out that could only be fixed with emergency surgery.  There were no good options about the surgery, but I remember…"
Dec 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Never ending

The holidays are around the corner. On the 26th three years ago my mom slipped into a coma. I rushed to the hospital with her DNR only to be told I was tying the doctor hands. I would a murderer golddigging bitch. I stood by her wishes. I prayed over day and night. She woke up on new years and was told three days later they had to release her. She did qualify for hospice since she had more a year to live. On the third she was moved to a long term rehabilitation. On the 7 th i was told same…See More
Dec 17, 2018
Sun replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Betty I wish I could find a good reply for you. I  feel deep loneliness and sadness since the death of my mother last  month.My wish is to die like her. Iam Crying everyday, go to work even on weekend, skipping meals, feeling like a…"
Oct 29, 2018
Virginia G replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I can relate to you in many ways unfortunately.  I am an only child, still live with my Dad but we are not close.  My Mom is my best friend.   I feel extreme guilt for not using the respirator, even though I dont think she…"
Oct 25, 2018
Brett Bowman replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Betty, I want to say something to help you. I just don't know what that something is. I haven't got a clue because I am still brokenhearted myself. I feel like I can relate to you. I hope it's at least a comfort to know that…"
Oct 23, 2018
Michael Thompson replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hello Betty Ellsworth, "nobody can relate"!.    How very true this is!.  I lost my wife to bowel cancer in 2014, we were married 22 years. I dont know the trick to getting and feeling better, but I do know that somehow we…"
Oct 23, 2018
Avi replied to Betty Ellsworth's discussion Does it ever end? in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi BettyI can understand your pain as I lost my mom on 15 May 2018. It is still very demotivating to live as I am not only fighting with grief of losing my mother but also guilt of not taking complete care of her during her cancer days. But I…"
Oct 23, 2018
Betty Ellsworth added a discussion to the group I miss my Mom!
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Does it ever end?

It been nearly three years since my mom died. I still cry every day. They say the pain will dull in time and for it increased as the days goes by. I can't help thinking if I had kept my mouth shut would she be alive today?.... Did me mentioniong the DNR kill her?I feel my only happiness is when I die. I'm so tired of living. So tired of putting on a happy face.The holidays for the most part are not bad. We only celebrate thanksgiving and I work all holidays. Lol my boss gave off thanksgiving!I…See More
Oct 22, 2018
Betty Ellsworth replied to Jennifer Nuss's discussion Not only do I miss her, feel like I lost my purpose. Why go on? in the group I miss my Mom!
"I know this feeling well.  I too was my mother caregiver for many years and only child.  My mother was my whole life.  I had a job and her for many years. When I saw a decline in her health no one would listen.  I keep thinking…"
Mar 30, 2018
Betty Ellsworth commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Does the pain ever go away.  Its been two years.  I still cry almost every nite.  Her doctor called me a murderer when I gave him her DNR.  I will always wonder would she still be with me?  On her anniversary of death I got…"
Jan 17, 2018
Betty Ellsworth joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Jan 17, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my mom this year. She was my only my only family member

Betty Ellsworth's Blog

Greig is bad enough now its impossible to get help thanks obam

I lost my mom over a year. I cry every day. I keep hearing the doctor's words I was going to kill her if I did not place her on life support. I keep thinking of the promises I broke..,,,she died alone..,,in a hospital....people praying over her.



Lol thanks to Obama care does not cover depression. Lol I would have to be suicidal or an addict to get help.



With all this now happening I can not even have my mothers ashes. A day after she passed I followed her wish....to donate… Continue

Posted on January 25, 2017 at 12:05pm

Almost a year

My mom was my only family its been almost a year since left. Every nite I cry. Every nite I look for a sign she has forgiven. If she can not forgive me then how do forgive myself. I promised her she would die in a hospital, and she did want people pray over her, she died in the arms of strangers..,,praying strangers.I keep hearing the words of doctor..,,,,you are tying my hands...her only hope is being put on life support. I did not listen. I showed him the den. He told me I would murdering her… Continue

Posted on December 22, 2016 at 3:06am

the pain and guilt never ends.

I lost my mom 7 months ago she was my only family member.  I have been her care giver for nearly 10 years  She battle COPD, Congestive heart failure, renal failure and diabetic.  In December 2014 her heart doctor informed me she had a year to live.   I thought he was crazy.  Her primary doctor did not agree.   She came home in March of 2015 after recoverying from heart surgery.   I notice an increase of things she was unable to do.  Her mental alertness and memory was gone.  She had lost…

Continue

Posted on August 11, 2016 at 5:48am

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Latest Activity

Brenda Ann replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"Mindy, I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"
5 hours ago
Pamela philipp posted a blog post

permanent grief

it has been three years and four months since i lost my mom 9-6-2015 and my husband  9-14-2015 and the overwhelming grief is unbearable also my husbands birthday is on the 20th of this month i don't know how much longer i can hold on,also i have so much added stress from people telling me i have to move on don't they understand that i may look okay on the outside but i am shattered inside i have been numb for so long i feel like i'm in a horrific nightmare nothing makes any sense any more i am…See More
5 hours ago
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lost
"Dear Lost, I've never been one who felt that money or job is most important either. There are so many things more important in life. One of those though is family. I would be lonely also if my family looked down on me and didn't talk to…"
10 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks M adams and Brett. Will wait for that time when I get over the guilt.  Starting my day with positive today. "
16 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I agree with M. I'm not one to give advice because I have not conquered those guilty feelings either. I have a feeling, and that is all I can go by, that one day we will grow tired of beating ourselves up, and that's when we will take…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, so good to hear that you can feel celebratory.  Engaging in life is important, it is something every parent wants for their child.  At the same time, I think in bereavement it’s hard to handle celebratory occasions because our…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Just returned from a small trip in India only. Whenever I celebrate, I feel guilty. "
yesterday
Shawn Hayter replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"How are you now?I know dealing with such problems is difficult. Still you need to move ahead in life. One of my colleagues was in depression and she took help from Voyance direct. Martine-Voyance was surely very helpful for her. You can also take…"
yesterday
Shawn Hayter replied to Jade Rogers's discussion Hi!
"Hello. I'm sorry to hear about your loss."
yesterday
Margaret Whitehouse left a comment for Margaret Whitehouse
"I am consumed with regret or guilt whichever you want to name it. My mom had dementia and was in extreme pain and dying week ago Sunday. My regret or guilt comes from the fact that mama took her last breath while I was talking to a good friend and…"
yesterday
Profile IconMelinda Pomana, Margaret Whitehouse, Shawn Hayter and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lost
"So sorry to hear how lonely you are and glad you found this website. you can talk to any of us anytime you need. Hope to hear from you soon. Brenda"
Monday
Brenda Ann left a comment for JJ
"So sorry to hear of your loss, but so glad that you found this website so you can talk to people who have experienced loss and may have some practical suggestions. Blow is a list of things that will help you and your girls... HELP FOR THOSE WHO…"
Monday
Brenda Ann left a comment for JJ
"So sorry to meet you here but very happy you found this website. You can trust the folks here to listen to your feelings. They may have practical suggestions that may help you and your daughters cope. Here is a list of practical suggestions that…"
Monday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Theresa
"Dear Theresa, I am so sorry to hear you lost your mom but my heart breaks for you being unable to talk to her and say some final words. One thing I know for sure she loved you and felt your love for her. My mom and I have this kind of relationship.…"
Monday
Theresa and Brenda Ann are now friends
Monday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, as usual, I have to read your post over three times because that is almost the exact way I feel. I woke up back in hell today. Yesterday, I was feeling some comfort and how fleeting that came and went. I had a disturbing thought this morning…"
Sunday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I did have a sign from Husband right after his death and to this day it was the only one. I am so happy for you. Morgan, I just can't believe that every time you post it mirrors my exact thoughts, maybe our Husbands are both trying to keep…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Havent had enough energy to respond to the latest entries from Joe but find each one to be inspirational as well as challenging me to try and dig deeper to alleviate the pain of missing my husband. Not as easy as it sounds. I too have struggled…"
Sunday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I took that pic about 10 days ago."
Saturday

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