I thought I'd wait until after the weekend but then I thought why wait.  I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am for all of your words of comfort.  Even in all your own personal grief you are taking time to be supportive, and helpful and it really is appreciated. The other day I finally told my PCP what I've been feeling and thinking and I started crying, right there!  I was in shock, not only because I never did this right in front of anyone before, but because he always seemed a bit cold before, to me and my husband.  But, he couldn't have been more understanding and sympathetic. He knew exactly what I was going through and I told him I didn't want an antidepressant because of the ads on TV that say these medications could give someone suicidal thoughts. But he said he doesn't believe that. He did gently persuade me to take the script he wrote for panic/nervousness attacks.  So I filled it just in case.  I also have a list of counselors to contact for the one who is right for me and who takes my insurance. So, I have a little homework to do.  Ah well, something to do and look forward to doing, except having crying spells, dark thoughts, avoiding Dan's pictures, and feeling heartbroken, depressed and lethargic and oh so lonely.  But of course I have you all here as well which makes me feel better.  Today marks 4 months since Danny passed away and while I feel worse in some ways, I feel better knowing you are all here that we can be supportive of one another.  May you all have peace somehow, in some way.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless,
Suzanne

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I am at the 4 month mark today as well and it hurts knowing its been 4 months since I talked to my mom. I too got on medicene, but this was back in December when I knew things weren't looking good. They gave me a prescription for Xanax and Cymbalta. Both worked well, but I had to stop taking the Xanax b/c of being pregnant. I've been sad today b/c I have a bad cold and I just want my mom to take care of me! I am 32, but I still feel like a big baby when I am sick. I want to lay my head of her chest and have her scratch my arm and make me some of her famous minestrone soup. Sometimes I feel like this is just a bad nightmare and soon it will be over. I know I am delusional. I've been sleeping so much. I am not sure if its b/c I am depressed or b/c I am pregnant. I guess I am just tired all together!

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