Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on August 28, 2010 at 9:21pm

Hey Jodi, thank you for those words. I guess that's true. I tell everyone that I am "certified crazy". I could have never imagined the feelings that I have experienced after losing my son. I am soooooooooooo angry. Not at my son but at the circumstances that led to this. I feel like I let him down by not being able to do anything to save him... I am a registered nurse and first and foremost, I am his mom. Mommy can fix anything and make it all better. My email is jinta6c@yahoo.com. I am also saying greetings to everyone that is , unfortunately, a member of this group.

Permalink Reply by Jodi Denton on August 29, 2010 at 4:05am

I feel all those feelings about my own situation too...but that is NOT where we need to live...we can move on but not until we accept what is making us feel like that in the first place.. I will tell you in the last 2-3 days I have learned so much...and I am feeling so much better.. I no longer feel crazy... I will share with you the answers I have found if you would like because it is working. grief is a cage.. you might not have put yourself there but you CAN get yourself out... the door isnt locked.. all you have to do is open it....you do not have to stay there and no one expects you to, you are staying there because you are making yourself stay in that cage...and you are the only one that can get you out...there are NO pills or psychiatrists out there that can and will help... only you can safe yourself. Email me if you want to know the answer... you wont believe how simple it is and you wont believe it works until you do it yourself....no one in the whole world can make you feel better but you...believe it.

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on August 29, 2010 at 11:39am

Hey Jodi, is your email address case sensitive?

Permalink Reply by Jodi Denton on August 30, 2010 at 3:55am

Karen,
JSLD68@aol.com... shouldnt be.

Permalink Reply by RedLee on August 31, 2010 at 7:41pm

god bless you and your son. how old was he?

Permalink Reply by Jodi Denton on September 6, 2010 at 4:47am

My son would have been 20 a week from today.
Thank you for talking to me.

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on September 6, 2010 at 3:25pm

Hey Jodi, I hope all is physically and emotionally ok with you. I was still waiting for a response from you. I donnt mean to bother you and pkease excuse me if I did. I hope your new found peace is forever lasting.

Permalink Reply by Jodi Denton on September 7, 2010 at 3:13am

I have replied to all your things on this webpage....are you talking about email?.. because I havent gotten an email from you... I do want to talk to you.
I'm doing ok... how are you doing?.. I am physically just fine...emotional I am still working on it and probably will be forever...but atleast now I can get out of my chair and do my housework.
JSLD68@aol.com

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on September 9, 2010 at 1:20pm

Greetings Jodi, glad to hear that you are "ok". I emailed you a couple of times, I will try again. Maybe I typed in the wrong address. I will try again, thanks.

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on September 10, 2010 at 6:02pm

Hey Jodi I emailed you again, maybe you can try emailing me at jinta6c@yahoo.com, take care,

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on September 22, 2010 at 8:59pm

. My son is so much more than a memory!

.
..Back in October 2009, my 21 yr old was riding his friend's motorcycle down a residential street when he was rammed into another car. Thank God the occupants of that car were not seriously hurt but unfortunately, my son sustained a massive brain injury and he passed away a week later. My whole life changed in an instant, nothing could ever prepare a parent for this kind of nightmare. My faith has been weakened but not totally destroyed. I begged God to spare my son and take me in his place if necessary. For God's sake, he is ONLY 21yrs old! He is someone's son, someone's brother, someone's grandson, someone's nephew, someone's cousin and someone's friend. He had a life! He went to work everyday, he was so full of life, a life that he fully enjoyed. No, he was not perfect, none of us are but he was a good kid. There were a few things we did not always agree with but I realize now that I had to let him be his own person. I have so much guilt now about some of the petty things we argued about. His passion, the thing he loved the most was his music. He had always saved his little pennies since the day he was old enough to work. He bought his first expensive keyboard and taught himself to play. He mastered it, he had a gift. He slowly bought other expensive equipment like a mixing board until he basically had everything for his own recording studio. He loved to make original beats/tracks. His dream was to become a big music producer. He loved all kinds of music but he reaaly loved hip-hop and reggae. His favorite artist of all time was Michael Jackson, he was devastated when he passed away, who knew that he would meet the same fate in a few months. He always said that Michael was a "MUSICAL GENIUS" and that he too would be the next musical genius....producer wise. His other favorit musician was Bob Marley. My son used to tell me "mom, I am going to be the next Kanye West". Kanye is a huge music producer that also became a rapper for all those that may not be familiar.

I long to hear him say "hey mom, it's me, I'm home" or hey mom what is ther to eat, I'm starving". I wish I could yell at him now for coming in late or playing his music too loud. My son's famous saying was" relax, it's not that serious". He said that every time I complained about something. We had war over him riding his friend's bike. The day that he was critically injured, was only his 2nd time on the bike! I had warned him that they were NOT safe, I reminded him of our neighbor who was killed on his motorcycle when he was also in his 20s and what do you think my son said to me...." relax, it's not that serious". I wish he would have listened to me and everyone in our family that warned him not to ride. I literally begged him with tears not to ever ride it again after I had first witnessed him ride it out of our next door neighbor's driveway. I even went as far to say that he could ride AFTER my funeral all he wanted but until then, keep your ass off of that bike. My son crashed after being chased 3 days after that! I felt like I passed away with my son. I was so angry with my self, I thought that maybe I failed him because I didnt convince him to stay off the bike. I was angry with God because I begged for another chance for my son, I would have done anything to have his life spared. I felt like why does God allow these things to happen, why does he let a mother's heart become permanently broken. My son needed a miracle. I felt like I was being punished. When I was told that there was nothing else they could do for him, I remember screaming " this is MY son, do something, I am begging you"! I will never forget trying to get my son to respond to me, if he could only whisper, or hold my hand or give me a hug. NOTHING, only silence, I picked up his arms to place over my shoulders and I begged him to hug me back......nothing! His arms just dropped to his sides. I desparately tried to wake him......NOTHING! Then I was told by family members that we had to leave. I had been there a whole week with my son in ICU(intensive care unit). Family would bring me clothes and food that they food force me to eat.. I slept in a chair at his bedside. I want my son back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Permalink Reply by Stephanie Eagle on October 9, 2010 at 12:13am

My husband Richard & I net on myspace in fall of 2007...We were friends for 2 years & then I went from PA to MO..We got married a month after I got there on Feb.9,2010 in Rolla,MO..A few months later we moved back to were Im from in PA...8 months into marriage we were pregnant...We had our baby girl Amelia June 25,2010..He had his 40th b-day on July 2,2010 & moved out of my moms place to a new apartment on July 9,2010...On July 12,2010 our baby girl & I woke up & I found my husband-best friend Richard dead in his sleep in our bedroom...I feel shock too...My mind can't beleive he is gone...It feels like he is on a vacation & will come home at anytime...I called 911 & the guy told me to move him,move pillows,turn him on his back...I couldn't do it cause I had stiches from having baby...the police & emt's came they made me take baby downstairs while they worked on him...They came down about 15 to a half an hour later & said hun he's gone...I started screaming no he's not go back upstairs & work on him more..They said we can't he's gone he has been dead for hours...He died right after I told him to go to sleep...When I think of him all is I can remember is when I found him dead..Also fights we had & ect...I feel like Im lost without him...He wanted to be married so bad & have another child...He got that but it wasn't for very long...I thought him & I would of been together to see our children grow & have kids of their own...Grow old together...God had other plans for us but I don't understand what it is...Thanks for Reading this

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