the story of my mom's passing is indeed a sad one....first of all, we were very close, probably closer than two people could be....especially in her last two years....anyways....she was to go in for minor surgery to have her ovaries removed, she had a cyst, and the dr. wanted to remove it because in older people the cysts can turn cancerous....I had talked to her a couple days before the procedure....she was in high spirits because she was looking forward to being out of pain, for the past year before she had ulcers, which she had almost died from the year before, and thought this new surgery would give her more relief from pain....well, when she went in for surgery, something went terribly wrong...her heart acted up and they coudnt calm it down, and she developed or maybe already had, a very bad infection....also an abcess on her liver, which is deadly in and of itself....when they went in for the surgery, they found cancer....of course she didnt know she had it....the thing is, this was an outpatient surgery, and she was to return home that day, I called her every day for a week or so and no response so I knew something was very wrong....I finally called the hospital where the procedure was done and they told me she was in the hospital!!!! I was in such shock, I didnt know what to think....I called her room and we did talk, she was weak, and I will never forget what she said next...."Rachel, I need you to be strong for me, I have cancer"....well I started balling on the phone, and she said to stop it....I couldnt control the emotion....that word is one of the worst words ever and my mom? I could go on and on about the transpiring events after that, but the drs. tried to control the infection she had, it did get better, but somehow she deteriorated....then they found the cancer spread into her stomach and was too aggressive....fluid got into her lungs and they kept removing it and it kept coming back, she couldnt breathe....she was so out of it, she was almost a dementia patient....when I visited she didnt know I was there, she didnt know who I was, it was a really weird experience....she wasnt on many drugs either....so I dont know what happened to her....the worst thing about this whole thing is, she was spry and pretty healthy before all this happened, then she got deathly ill, enough to die....I still dont understand it all....her spirit is so strong with me, I can still hear her voice, see her smile, but its so hard....its unreal....she was such a gutsy, special person, and she loved me more than words can say....I was told by others how much she raved about me, and she told people how special I was to her, what deep love she had for me....its almost like one day I was talking to her on the phone, the next she was gone, and thats what I cant get over....doesnt seem possible....my heart is aching for her, I miss her, she was my world....I dont know how I will ever be able to stop the hurt.....Rachel
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