Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
~ Joyous Reunions With Deceased Loved Ones ~
©1995; by Bill Guggenheim & Judy Guggenheim
co-authors of Hello From Heaven! published by Bantam Books
Have you been contacted by a loved one who has died? After-death communication (ADC) is probably as old as mankind, but ours is the first complete research study of this field. These spiritual experiences are extremely common, and in many other parts of the world they are discussed openly and freely.
Between 1988 & 1995, we interviewed 2,000 people who live in all fifty American states and the ten Canadian provinces. Ranging in age from children to the elderly, they represent diverse social, educational, economic, occupational, and religious backgrounds. We conservatively estimate that at least 50 million Americans, or 20% of the population, have had one or more ADC experiences – and the actual numbers may be closer to double these figures!
We collected more than 3,300 firsthand accounts of ADCs from people who have been contacted by a deceased family member or friend. These are spontaneous and direct communications that may occur anytime and anywhere, but no third parties such as psychics, mediums, hypnotists, or devices of any kind are involved.
Based upon our research, the following are the twelve most frequent types of after-death communication people report having with their deceased loved ones:
Sensing A Presence: This is the most common form of contact. But many people discount these experiences, thinking, "Oh, I'm just imagining this." It's a distinct feeling that your loved one is nearby, even though he or she can't be seen or heard. Though most often felt during the days and weeks immediately after the death, you may sense his or her presence months and even years later.
Hearing A Voice: Some people state they hear an external voice, the same as when a living person is speaking to them. However, the majority of communications are by telepathy – you hear the voice of your relative or friend in your mind. When you have two-way communication, it is usually by telepathy. In fact, it's possible to have an entire conversation this way.
Feeling A Touch: You may feel your loved one touch you with his or her hand, or place an arm around your shoulders or back, for comfort and reassurance. You may feel a tap, a pat, a caress, a stroke, a kiss, or even a hug. These are all forms of affection, nurturing, and love.
Smelling A Fragrance: You may smell your relative's or friend's favorite cologne, after-shave lotion, or perfume. Other common aromas are: flowers (especially roses), bath powders, tobacco products, favorite foods, and his or her personal scent.
Visual Experiences: There are a wide variety of visual experiences, which we have divided into two broad categories: partial visual and full visual ADCs. Appearances range from "a transparent mist" to "absolutely solid" with many gradations in between. You may see only the head and shoulders of your relative or friend, or someone you love may make a full appearance to you, and you will see the entire body as well, which will appear completely solid. Some visual ADCs occur in the bedroom, next to or at the foot of the bed. Others may happen anywhere – indoors or outdoors – even in a car or aboard a plane. Typically he or she will be expressing love and well-being with a radiant smile. Loved ones virtually always appear healed and whole regardless of their cause of death. Verbal communication may take place, but not always.
Visions: You may see an image of a deceased loved one in a "picture" that is either two-dimensional and flat or three-dimensional like a hologram. It's like seeing a 35 mm slide or a movie suspended in the air. Visions are usually in radiant colors and may be seen externally with your eyes open or internally in your mind. Communication may occur, especially during meditation.
Twilight Experiences: These occur in the alpha state – as you're falling asleep, waking up, meditating, or praying. You may have any or all of the above types of experiences while you are in this state of consciousness.
ADC Experiences While Asleep: Sleep-state ADCs are much more vivid, intense, colorful, and real than dreams. They are very common. Both one-way and two-way communications are typical. You usually feel your loved one is with you in person – that you're having an actual visit together. These experiences are not jumbled, filled with symbols, or fragmented the way dreams are.
Sleep-state ADCs are similar to those that occur when you are wide awake. Your relative or friend can come to you more easily, however, when you are relaxed, open, and receptive, such as while you are in the alpha state or asleep.
Out-Of-Body ADCs: These may occur while you are asleep or in a meditative state. They are dramatic experiences during which you leave your body and often visit your loved one at the place or level where he or she exists. These are extremely vivid, intense, and real – some say, "more real than physical life." The environments usually contain beautiful flowers and butterflies, colorful bushes and trees, radiant lighting, and other lovely aspects of nature – and are filled with happiness, love, and joy.
Telephone Calls: These ADCs may occur during sleep or when you are wide awake. You will hear a phone ringing, and if you answer it, your loved one will give you a short message. Two-way conversations are possible. His or her voice will usually be clear but may seem far away. If you are awake, you will probably not hear a disconnect sound or a dial tone when the call is completed.
Physical Phenomena: People who are bereaved often report receiving a wide variety of physical signs from their deceased relative or friend, such as: lights or lamps blinking on and off; lights, radios, televisions, stereos, and mechanical objects being turned on; photographs, pictures, and various other items being turned over or moved; and a long list of "things that go bump in the night."
Symbolic ADCs: People frequently ask a Higher Power, the universe, or their deceased loved one for a sign that he or she still exists. Many receive such a sign, though it may take some time to arrive. Occasionally these signs are so subtle they may be missed, or they may be discounted as mere "coincidences." Common signs include: butterflies, rainbows, many species of birds and animals, flowers, and a variety of inanimate objects such as coins and pictures.
According to our research, the purpose of these visits and signs by those who have died is to offer comfort, reassurance, and hope to their parents, spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, other family members, and friends. They want you to know they're still alive and that you'll be reunited with them when it's your time to leave this physical life on earth – and they'll be there to greet you when you make your transition. Their most frequent messages, expressed verbally or non-verbally, include:
"I'm okay ... I'm fine ... Everything is okay ... Don't worry about me ...
Don't grieve for me ... Please let me go ... I'm happy ... Everything will be all right ...
Go on with your life ... Please forgive ... Thank you ... I'll always be there for you ...
I'm watching over you ... I'll see you again ... I love you ... Good-bye ..."
You may be asked to give a message from your loved one to somebody else. We urge you to write down the message verbatim and to deliver it, if possible, because it may help the recipient far more than you realize.
Nearly all ADCs are positive, joyful, and uplifting encounters that reduce grief, provide lasting comfort and hope, and accelerate emotional and spiritual healing. We encourage you to trust your own experiences and to accept them as being real for you.
Unfortunately, some people react with fear when they have an ADC. This is usually because they are startled by the suddenness of the event, or they may have never heard of one happening to anybody else. Such people may assume they are "losing their mind and going crazy." And others find it difficult to reconcile after-death communications with their philosophical or religious beliefs.
Not all people are contacted by their deceased loved ones. We don't know for certain why some are and some aren't, but it seems that fear, anger, and prolonged heavy grief inhibit the possibility of having an ADC.
Based upon our research, we suggest the following: Ask for a sign that your relative or friend continues to exist. Pray for him or her and others who are affected by the death, including yourself. We recommend that you learn how to meditate, especially if you are currently bereaved or have unresolved grief. Meditation will enable you to relax and soften any fear or anger you may have. It will reduce your depression, improve your ability to eat and sleep, and facilitate your healing process. These deep relaxation exercises will also allow you to unfold your inner, intuitive senses. In fact, you may have an ADC experience while you are meditating.
Our research indicates that after-death communications are a natural and normal part of life. Therefore, we feel ADCs deserve the same public awareness and acceptance that near-death experiences (NDEs) have already received.
For most people, an after-death communication from a deceased family member or friend is valued as a sacred and profound experience that will be cherished for a lifetime. ADC experiences usually expand one's understanding of life and offer a deeper awareness of life after death. They consistently communicate an essential spiritual message: "Life and love are eternal."
Copyright © 1995 - 2009 The ADC Project. All rights reserved.
Webmaster: Will Guggenheim
Comment
wen i went sea my dad in the funnrall home he looket like a yung man agane yea he had wite hand gray hair but he looket like in his 20s id rather trust the undertakers then lazy nurses apart from my dads comunty nurse who come evry 2 weaks to check on him even she woz disgusterd how thy tret him and she lernt nursing the harf way that why she started doing comunty nursing to spend tim with the paitsints and the other day i woz tarking to the funrall directer who did my dads funrall ask ing how evry 1 woz wish woz nise that i thort like i said thy seam more caring then nurses
jb - thank you for all your supportive words. I'm sorry you lost so many pets and that it still pains you. I know how that feels. I think you are right though that Lassie is with my dad now. I think my dad is no longer crippled and that he and Lassie can go for long walks in the woods. Who knows - maybe Lassie isn't even a dog in heaven. Maybe she takes some form that can actually talk to my dad and they can tell each other things instead of only him being able to talk to her.
no storyas youre not anmial killer wen my 1st cat jayson died i woz just kid i wanet to hold on to him for ever but he had feline lukiama i never got over lozing him even tho it woz over 20 yrs ago same as tina the dog i didnt want to let her go and yogs the cat that killied evry thng and beat up evry cat who died of feline aids i didnt wanr to let him go and it still hurts now after all these yrs my dad had a disrect nurse who used to check on him and she is a real nurse allways for the paitent and the family she had a cat that woz 22 wen it died and i reber her saying at the time shel never get over it evry house shes went to pets jumpet on her even lucy did i thng lucy miss her visteds bleve or not she even ask fot treats out of the fridge i woz saying to lucy wot u want and she stood on her back legsand puting her 2 front pars on the fridge as mush to say can i hav a bit of meat out of the fridhe i thng cats r eady to train beter thn people it least thy respect u more and dont treat u like dirt i thng lassie wanted to be with yore dad i can picher her now on yore dads nea or going for nose warks or chasing her tail wen our lucy woz yunger she woz chasing her tail she bit it so hard she screamed and blamrd us
That is okay. I don't really want to be on facebook either, but I guess I am for now any way. I'm always scared some nut job will be following me on public forums like facebook, but I'll try it for a while to help the shelter who got me the dog my dad said he was going to send to me before he died. Lucy sounds like a really smart cat. I don't know that all cats are that smart. I don't know if my Nugget is or not. I am going to start asking him questions like that to test him and see if he is able to understand me. Thanks for the condolences about Lassie. Even though I feel peacefulness around me, I still feel quite sad. I do miss her. Little things - like I only have to get three dog bowls together in the morning. Last night when I was giving out dog treats I wondered if she wanted to know where hers was. Little things like that just keep reminding me that everything is different. I had a dream last night though. I can't remember it good, but I think it was telling me I did the right thing. I hope I did the right thing. It's just so hard. I told my husband that I feel like an animal serial killer, because that is the third animal I've had to have euthanized in my life. But, my first dog i let die naturally, and I think that was a mistake. I think he suffered too much. Thanks for listening.
i dont trust face book on hear i feal safelike said before storyas so sorey to hear abot yore dads dog iv lost pets overther yrs and it still hurts now even sum hav went over 20 yrs ago it still hurts thy feal like blood family and thy respect u more and hav beter manners at least thy care abot thehumans ive got lucygusing wish hand is her treat in i say lick the hand and ul get a treeat and she all ways licks the rigt hand or her cat food i say do u want the wiskers sashet ot the sheba she snifs both then rubs her hed against the 1 she wants i told sum1 onse and thy thort i woz joking
jb - I think your dad is close to you, because sometimes I feel my dad and my mom. I did have to euthanize my dad's dog on Wednesday, and I am sad and cry sometimes, but she was totally at peace and I was at peace afterwards - a peace that was almost like she was letting me know it was okay. I felt like I felt my parents presence and so did the lady who went with me. And, I believe your dad could knock on the door (or God could let him or God could help him do it) to tell everyone to quit acting badly. I believe my phone rang two nights in a row earlier this week, because my dad was trying to tell me his dog was sick. And, she was sick. I didn't want to put her down. I asked the vet over and over again what she would do if it was her dog, and she finally said she'd euthanize the dog and that Lassie was very sick and if I didn't do it that day I'd be back very soon to do it. So, I went ahead and did it. I think my dad knew she was sick and kept making my phone ring to let me know. Also, jb - do you have facebook. I just got on facebook last night. I didn't want to be on facebook, but the shelter who gave me my dog asked me to get on their facebook and tell my story, and I couldn't do that without making an account for me. I'd like to keep it to just a few friends. I don't want my name all over the internet as that doesn't feel safe, but if you have facebook, maybe we could write on there too. Let me know how you feel about that. Thanks,
the woz a nock at the door and wen i got ther ther woz nobody ther it woz the nock my dad used to do for a joke to make us get and anser the door i dont no if it woz him geting upset with sum of the family trying to carse trubel trying to throw ther wait around and interfeiring things that haz nothing do with them we are all trying to sort wills out and ther is 1 person stickijng ther nose in abot it sum 1 who has had to mush a good edgication who thnks im a dim wit a dumvo coz i cant spell to gud thnking evry 1 shud leve evry thng to thm 1 good thng abot thy hav did me a faver in my will im leaving evry thng to charty so no body can argue abot it
sum tims wen im on hear i feal like my dad is close to me i dont no if im bean silly or duze any 1 else feal like this i no me and my dad wer realy close i no mum used to say we like 2 peas in a pod and wen i woz litel id follor him all over the house or any wer we went
im so sorey to hear abot yore dads dog storyas
jb - I'm glad your mom's friend reported them. I hope they got not only in trouble but fired so that they can't hurt any other sick or old people. I'm sure you were a kind person in a past life or you wouldn't have been born to such good parents. That's what I always say too - I want my parents to be my parents in a future life, the new earth, heaven, whatever. I want to be with them again. You know how I told you my dad called two nights in a row and he's never called that often before. I think he was calling to tell me to take his dog to the vet. She is pretty sick. I had her to the vet two months ago and they told me her CBC was fine and they thought it was just allergies, but she is going down hill more and more. I think I'm going to have to have her put down tomorrow. I think my dad was calling to let me know his dog was suffering and to ask me to help her.
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