Melissa Ann Smith
  • Female
  • Needles, California
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 38 years old, & I am from the San Diego area originally but I moved to Fort Mohave, Arizona in the spring of 1988 when my son Andrew was only a year old, & I was only 17 years old @ the time! I lived in the Fort Mohave area until the spring of 2008, then I moved across the Colorado River back to California, Needles to be exact to start a new life after my son & mother passed away!!!
About my Loss:
I found my eldest son not breathing on my parents living room floor face first not breathing very early on in the morning of November 27 th, 2008! So I tried waking him up to no avail, so I called 911 & the operator told me to turn him over & perform CPR on him, but he was way too heavy to do that so luckily I lived on a street that had a fire station on the corner so it only took moments for the paramedics to arrive, so they did all they could for him too & they told me that they pronounced him dead right there on the living room floor!!! To me, it looked like my angel was asleep & very peaceful!!! So to make a long story short, my son passed away in his sleep @ only 18 years of age due to a seizure!!! That is why it looked like he was sleeping!!! I will ALWAYS have that picture of him in my head forever!!! Ok, down the road about three years later on June 25 th, of 2008, my beloved mother passed away @ only 69 years of age, & my mother was the one who I could ALWAYS turn to whenever I had a problem, & she made me feel better about whatever situation or problem that I may have had @ the time, now for the very first time in my life, I feel sooo alone that it hurts!!! Loosing my son just totally destroyed what happiness that I will ever have again, & then to loose my mother, well, you tell me how I am supposed to feel or go on with my life because I do not even want to be alive anymore!!!

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At 2:32pm on September 20, 2009, jackie steinbock said…
i am new to this computrer i have never had one before but i need to be able to talk to other people that have lost their sons daughter i feel so alone and sometimes i dont evev know if i can go on with out him. his name is nathaniel and most ofr time i called him nate.hedied on april8 2009 only five months ago and sometimes it feells like the pain of his loss is even getting worse evey day i am not sure how to use this computer but please try to right me back i feel nso lost without him he was 25 but he still live4dme he struggled with drugs alcoho even though i got sober 10 years ago the damage and hurt i caused him had already been done
 
 
 

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Jennifer replied to Robin H's discussion Lost my Partner who wasn't my partner in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Welcome to the group.  I lost my partner on February 5th this year, so it's still pretty raw for me too.  Reading through your story really touched a chord with me.  Like you, I didn't think I would ever find a group like…"
Thursday
Jennifer joined Cathy Richardson's group
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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Thursday
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Jennifer and William Gardener are now friends
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dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i miss mom so mush i do"
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My husband

"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief

Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Apr 3
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Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
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