Andy Barnett
  • Male
  • Atlanta, GA
  • United States
Share
  • Blog Posts
  • Discussions
  • Groups (2)
  • Photos
  • Photo Albums
  • Videos

Andy Barnett's Friends

  • Tania Isaacs
  • Karen

Andy Barnett's Groups

Gifts Received

Gift

Andy Barnett has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Andy Barnett's Page

Profile Information

About Me:
HMMM..What to say? haha..I am 29 years old and live in Atlanta, GA with my sister and 6 year old nephew. GA born and raised.
About my Loss:
My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer back in May 2008. She underwent chemo for 6 months and was said to be cleared. She kept saying she did not feel right, but the doctors kept telling her she was being silly and chemo just does that to you. Well, not 2 months later the cancer had come back and spread all over the abdomine and into the liver. Her Gastro doctor told me she had never seen a case that aggressive. Her Oncologist in ATL said there was nothing that could be done. They could try to keep her comfortable during her last days. Needless to say we would not accept that. We looked at it as winning the lottery (The chances are low,but someone has to win it). We traveled to Philly to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and were given some hope. The chemo regimon managed to keep the cancer under control, but was not shrinking the tumors. My mom became sick in November of 09 and was unable to have chemo for a month. I guess thats when it took over and spread. She passed away on January 12, 2010. I have so much anger and frustration towards all her doctors which I know sounds silly. It just seems like she wasn't a person to them, but a paycheck. I think about all the colon resections she underwent and all the pain she felt. Watching your mother who in my eyes is one of the most beautiful people in the world outside and in drop from a healthy 180lbs to 90lbs and not being able to move or control her bladder. It just hurts to see that. It hurts to think about it. Hell....I just hurt.

My mom was best friend and I don't really know what to do now that she is gone. I honestly just feel lost. I can't imagine never being able to hear her voice again..never being able to hear her laugh..or even just give me one of those motherly lectures she was known for when she pretended to be shocked over something I had done..haha..I just so badly want to talk to her and give her a hug. She always smelled like perfume and make-up and even as a kid I remember hugging her and feeling so protected by that smell. My friends don't understand what I am going through..Most don't even know what to say..If I try to talk about it I just feel crazy because I know they are thinking OH GOD!! so I thought this site would really help.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
NO

Comment Wall (3 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 12:43am on January 25, 2013, Emily said…

Hi! I'm so sorry about your mom, please feel free to message me anytime.

While I didn't lose my mom to cancer, I also felt like Doctors let her down,

its ok to feel angry, to cry, to feel lost, to not feel normal.

At 6:16pm on March 20, 2010, Tina Elam said…
I lost my mother on the 12th also to lymphoma. Wow that shocked me when i read your post. Im having such a hard time dealing with my mothers loss, Sha was my best freind. I love her so much!! My life will never be the same. Tina
At 1:27pm on February 28, 2010, Tania Isaacs said…
Andy, I read your profile and I can't believe how much in common we have about the losses of our Mom's. They found her colon cancer in Feb. 2009 We went to an oncologist after her release from the hospital and he said that she was not well enough to withstand and chemo or radiation therapy and Mom wanted to recover from the surgery ( they had to remove 60% of her colon and thats a lot to recover from) To make a long story shorter ,she had terrible pain begin in her abdomen and we went to several doctor's who told us that she had developed adhesions in the abdomen from the surgery and they sent her to pain management. Well, there were not adhesions in her it was cancer. By the time we found a doctor they would do exploratory surgery on her to find the cause of the pain it was everywhere and nothing could be done. She wanted to badly to go to a cancer treatment center but we never made it there. She was released from the hospital on Jan 25, the day after my birthday, and they got her into hospice care . A few weeks later she passed away, weighing only 64 lbs.
Andy, I am so very sorry for your loss. I joined this site because my family and friends are trying hard to be understanding and supportive but they haven't gone through anything like this and you're right, they don't really understand. For now I am still living in her home and trying to get things settled and it is so hard. Add to that my son who is almost 5 is here with me and he doesn't understand what's gone on and I am trying to hold myself together for both of us. Sometimes I don't think I am strong enough to do this.
I am sorry this comment is so long. If you need to talk, I'm for you if you need to talk. The pain is terrible, I feel lost too, and if I could help any one else through it I'd like to try. You're not really alone.

Tania
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Profile IconKayla and Jazi joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
38 minutes ago
Billy Jo Colt commented on Kelli Auerbach's blog post New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
Friday
Kelli Auerbach posted a blog post

New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
Friday
Profile IconKelli Auerbach, Fedor Malkin and Jan McCracken joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Coartney Hale updated their profile
Thursday
Coartney Hale posted photos
Thursday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Everyone sounds a little down today.   And that's OK.   I do the same thing.   I am learning how to move on with life.  I know that there will never be another Joe.  He was my life, my love.  I miss…"
Thursday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Over the last couple of days, I've had some real negative thoughts, scary to say the least.  I know I'll never see her here with me again, which I know but can't accept, but today I questioned is she here with me in spirit? …"
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, not that I am glad to  hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living.  At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok.  That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise.  And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead.  It's not possible for me to accept it either.  I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive.  The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable.  While I'm not in that…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Nobody really understands except for the members on this website. It was a life saver for me. Thanks to all of you who share your posts and the support we give each other."
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, yes.  Linda, yes.  Marita, yes.  Bulebird, Yes.  I'm becoming paralyzed to the point of petrification.  NOTHING MATTERS except what we all know what it is.  We can't go back and we can't accept…"
Wednesday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here, Marita. Things I would have been able to deal with before (either before I met my husband, or while he was here with me), I cannot handle at all now. Any tiny problem is insurmountable. Everything is. Morgan, I am truly sorry you are…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, i live with constant fear and anxiety. Every time I am confronted with a new problem I break down because my husband is not here to support me, to comfort me, to love me and it is a reminder of my loss.  When things become so…"
Wednesday
Rosaisela is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, My whole problem with myself is I just can't accept my Husband's death and there is a not a thing I can do about it. I want things back the way things were. So to avoid all my breakdowns I try to numb myself with beer. I don't…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I felt something very similar. After a year the pain and shock of mom's death had eased somewhat, but the guilt increased. I learned that grief is a process that has many different facets. I am really amazed by the folks who seem to…"
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Terrible,horrible, crippling breakdown tonight.  I know what triggered it and it is something I have struggled with all these years and the closer I get to trying to solve it the worse the breakdowns are becoming. Problem is I am still unable…"
Wednesday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service