Andy Barnett
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  • Atlanta, GA
  • United States
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About Me:
HMMM..What to say? haha..I am 29 years old and live in Atlanta, GA with my sister and 6 year old nephew. GA born and raised.
About my Loss:
My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer back in May 2008. She underwent chemo for 6 months and was said to be cleared. She kept saying she did not feel right, but the doctors kept telling her she was being silly and chemo just does that to you. Well, not 2 months later the cancer had come back and spread all over the abdomine and into the liver. Her Gastro doctor told me she had never seen a case that aggressive. Her Oncologist in ATL said there was nothing that could be done. They could try to keep her comfortable during her last days. Needless to say we would not accept that. We looked at it as winning the lottery (The chances are low,but someone has to win it). We traveled to Philly to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and were given some hope. The chemo regimon managed to keep the cancer under control, but was not shrinking the tumors. My mom became sick in November of 09 and was unable to have chemo for a month. I guess thats when it took over and spread. She passed away on January 12, 2010. I have so much anger and frustration towards all her doctors which I know sounds silly. It just seems like she wasn't a person to them, but a paycheck. I think about all the colon resections she underwent and all the pain she felt. Watching your mother who in my eyes is one of the most beautiful people in the world outside and in drop from a healthy 180lbs to 90lbs and not being able to move or control her bladder. It just hurts to see that. It hurts to think about it. Hell....I just hurt.

My mom was best friend and I don't really know what to do now that she is gone. I honestly just feel lost. I can't imagine never being able to hear her voice again..never being able to hear her laugh..or even just give me one of those motherly lectures she was known for when she pretended to be shocked over something I had done..haha..I just so badly want to talk to her and give her a hug. She always smelled like perfume and make-up and even as a kid I remember hugging her and feeling so protected by that smell. My friends don't understand what I am going through..Most don't even know what to say..If I try to talk about it I just feel crazy because I know they are thinking OH GOD!! so I thought this site would really help.
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At 12:43am on January 25, 2013, Emily said…

Hi! I'm so sorry about your mom, please feel free to message me anytime.

While I didn't lose my mom to cancer, I also felt like Doctors let her down,

its ok to feel angry, to cry, to feel lost, to not feel normal.

At 6:16pm on March 20, 2010, Tina Elam said…
I lost my mother on the 12th also to lymphoma. Wow that shocked me when i read your post. Im having such a hard time dealing with my mothers loss, Sha was my best freind. I love her so much!! My life will never be the same. Tina
At 1:27pm on February 28, 2010, Tania Isaacs said…
Andy, I read your profile and I can't believe how much in common we have about the losses of our Mom's. They found her colon cancer in Feb. 2009 We went to an oncologist after her release from the hospital and he said that she was not well enough to withstand and chemo or radiation therapy and Mom wanted to recover from the surgery ( they had to remove 60% of her colon and thats a lot to recover from) To make a long story shorter ,she had terrible pain begin in her abdomen and we went to several doctor's who told us that she had developed adhesions in the abdomen from the surgery and they sent her to pain management. Well, there were not adhesions in her it was cancer. By the time we found a doctor they would do exploratory surgery on her to find the cause of the pain it was everywhere and nothing could be done. She wanted to badly to go to a cancer treatment center but we never made it there. She was released from the hospital on Jan 25, the day after my birthday, and they got her into hospice care . A few weeks later she passed away, weighing only 64 lbs.
Andy, I am so very sorry for your loss. I joined this site because my family and friends are trying hard to be understanding and supportive but they haven't gone through anything like this and you're right, they don't really understand. For now I am still living in her home and trying to get things settled and it is so hard. Add to that my son who is almost 5 is here with me and he doesn't understand what's gone on and I am trying to hold myself together for both of us. Sometimes I don't think I am strong enough to do this.
I am sorry this comment is so long. If you need to talk, I'm for you if you need to talk. The pain is terrible, I feel lost too, and if I could help any one else through it I'd like to try. You're not really alone.

Tania
 
 
 

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
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Ann updated their profile
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M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now
"Watching it alone last night was sad but I’m glad to have seen it."
9 hours ago
Trina Mamoon left a comment for morgan
"Dear morgan, I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today (January 21st) on the seventh anniversary of the passing of the love of your life. I know that “life” as we live it now after the death of our beloved spouse is worth…"
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Alex is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Brenda Ann left a comment for morgan
"Dear Morgan, You said, ”What the hell happened to him.  Where is he?  I want to know and I know that is impossible.”  I noticed these 2 questions that you asked and noticed that you don’t feel it is possible to find…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful picture of you and your wife and your gravestones will hold both your bodies but you souls will be united in another realm. Morgan,  You will be in thoughts my tomorrow as you try to make it through the…"
16 hours ago
M Adams posted a blog post

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.See More
23 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
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Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
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Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
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