Angela Beaver
  • Female
  • Riverview,Fl
  • United States
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Welcome, Angela Beaver

Profile Information

About Me:
Hello my name is Angela. Im 26 Years old. I live in Florida with my boyfriend, but i call Washington state and Arizona my homes. I really dont know what to say at this time. Maybe as i get stronger more words will come
About my Loss:
My mom Joy Passed away on April 15,2009 of Lucemia. They tell me it was a rare form. Her death cirt. said she had it for 2 years. We did not know. She finnally told me she was sick on Christmas day 2008, and we found out it was cancer on New Years Eve 2008-2009. It went so fast. I was in Florida when all this was going on and could not get back home in time to be with her. She passed just a few days before i got there. I blame myself for not being there when i should of. She kept telling me to not come yet, i should not have listened. I will regret my choice for the rest of my life. My mom was and will always be my BEST FRIEND. We were very close. We spent all our time together. We lived together, traveled together. I miss her so much and i dont think i will ever heal from the pain i feel. Every day i think the pain will kill me. I think the numbness is just now finnally starting to wear off. This pain is just to real. I dont know how much longer i can survive this pain.

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Comment Wall (9 comments)

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At 12:27am on January 25, 2013, Emily said…

Hi! I'm so sorry about your mom, feel free to message me anytime.

At 4:14pm on September 22, 2011, Kandi Broussard said…
Angela,I know how you are feeling.  After I got out of the "shock" phase, I was in a much more painful phase.  At times, I still feel as if the pain is going to kill me.  It's like I am screaming for help and nobody is hearing me.  It has been a year and a month since my mom was murdered and I havn't killed myself or run away yet.  The extraordinary hurt and regret sometimes make me want to die.  I really do understand what you are feeling and I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.  I am not gonna lie to you and say that the hurt goes away.  It certainly hasn't for me.  I miss my mom more than ever and it feels like I just received that awful phone call yesterday.  I pray that you get through this as easily as possible.
At 3:06pm on August 05, 2010, anita latham abbott gave Angela Beaver a gift
Gift
everyone needs something to hold on to when there is no one ther at the time.
At 10:11pm on July 27, 2010, Lisa Westgate said…
Happy Birthday
At 6:02pm on July 27, 2010, anita latham abbott gave Angela Beaver a gift
Gift
bLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOURS.
At 11:00pm on September 15, 2009, Katie Grace said…
I am so sorry to hear about your mom and like you I have my regrets as well. The only thing that keeps me from dwelling on them is that I know that its not what my mother would have wanted. My mom was diagnosed six months before she passed away and the last couple or few months she was bed ridden and in a lot of pain. So much of it is a blur to me and I know the feeling of things happening so fast before you can really get a grip on what is happening. I wish you the very best in dealing with your mother's loss and hope you get the support you need to get through this rough time!
At 8:54am on September 11, 2009, Carrie A Williams said…
Hi Angela-

Hope you are doing well. Thanks for the friend request.

I am still in the process of just trying to get through each day. I lost my mother and father in the last 12 months to Cancer and Pick's Disease. My father was 60 and my mother, 62.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mother. Please join the I Miss My Parent(s) if you would like.

Hope to talk to you soon-
Carrie

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear mother.
At 6:42pm on September 6, 2009, Laura Villarreal said…
I would love to chat with you...my experience with this grief is that time does not heal but it does allow us to develop coping mechanisms that lets us move through our daily lives. I get so tired of the daily struggle with grief. My heart has been so empty of joy...
The photos are beautiful, thanks for posting them!
Laura
At 1:14pm on September 6, 2009, Laura Villarreal said…
Hello Angela,

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I am on the flip side of the coin...my daughter was killed on Memorial Day of this year. She was 33 years old and my only child. I raised her as a single mom and we were so close even though she lived in Alaska and I in Texas. We talked everyday, several times throughout the day. She was married but had no children. So many times I think of just being with her~my life feels like it has no direction. I miss her so much. There are no words to describe the grief I feel, the grief I read in your posts. It will get better; there is just no time table for the grieving process. The most important thing I can tell you is to take care of yourself...eat right, get some exercise.
I wish there was something else I could say or do to help you heal. This website was a godsend for me as we all share the common bond of grief. Share as much as you want or as little. Do you have a picture of your mom you would like to share with us?
One more note...my daughter's name is Angela.
Take care, sincerely,
Laura
 
 
 

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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
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M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now
"Watching it alone last night was sad but I’m glad to have seen it."
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Trina Mamoon left a comment for morgan
"Dear morgan, I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today (January 21st) on the seventh anniversary of the passing of the love of your life. I know that “life” as we live it now after the death of our beloved spouse is worth…"
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Alex is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Brenda Ann left a comment for morgan
"Dear Morgan, You said, ”What the hell happened to him.  Where is he?  I want to know and I know that is impossible.”  I noticed these 2 questions that you asked and noticed that you don’t feel it is possible to find…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful picture of you and your wife and your gravestones will hold both your bodies but you souls will be united in another realm. Morgan,  You will be in thoughts my tomorrow as you try to make it through the…"
15 hours ago
M Adams posted a blog post

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.See More
22 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
yesterday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
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joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
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Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."
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