Jonnie Russell
  • Female
  • Anaheim, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 43 year old Mom of two beautiful daughters. I am a Sister and a friend to many. I am a workaholic and my idea of relaxing is to start ridiculously huge projects on my home so I can absorb myself in them to avoid thinking too much. I try to stay positive and optimistic in the hopes that my brain will catch on one day to fill the void my heart is feeling most of the time lately. My family is and was as dysfunctional as most, my parents weren't perfect, but they were childhood sweethearts and truly loved eachother and we that are left try to stay as close as possible...
About my Loss:
I lost my Mom when I was 18 years old, my Sister 6 months later in a tragic accident. I lost a Brother 6 years ago and my Dad 2 years ago. I just recently lost another Brother to cancer, he was my friend, my confidant, my inspiration and my rock through the grief of losing so many that I loved. He was 46 years old, single, and I was his caregiver while he went to battle with his illness and this loss seems so much more profound. It's been 4 weeks and I just can't seem to stop shaking my head in disbelief.

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Comment Wall (9 comments)

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At 5:31am on June 30, 2009, Katherine Ellis said…
Saw your name on the birthday list and thought I would stop by to send a few hugs. I just lost my brother in law a few weeks ago and am having a had time with his passing. Can he really be gone?? But then I am still saying that about my daughter and she left us 9 years ago. Life isn't a pleasent trip. God Bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.
At 12:17am on May 25, 2009, Dj French said…
ty for your comments. I need prayer as my 86 year olds mom was just diagnosed with rectal cancer. we had done the first 10 radiation treatments and have 20 more to do. the daily drive is over 100 miles and i am so afdraid because we are the only 2 left in my family. hugs, dj
At 9:40am on April 28, 2009, Margaret R. said…
I loved what you shared about your Mamaw! She must have been an awesome presence in your life.
At 9:28pm on April 26, 2009, Dj French said…
Like I tell everyone, my friend, this road is never ever easy but it is better walking with others that know your pain than walking alone. I lost my 3rd and last brother in Nov and this crushed me because he was alone. His wife is a dr but her and his son had gone shopping. He died 1 day after his bday. Im here if you need an ear......hugs, dj
At 2:45pm on April 26, 2009, Christine Duminiak said…
Dear Jonnie,

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling over the physical loss of so many beloved members of your family, Hon. You were a wonderful sister to your brother. He will not forget that and God and your brother will be blessing you with many ADC signs from him to let you know that your brother is like an angel on your shoulder now. If you would like to read about the 20 common types of After-Death Communications, please visit my webpage at: http://www.christineduminiak.com/adc.html

You are in my prayers for God to heal your heart and to replace your sorrow with His joy, as well as to receive many wonderful ADC's.

Lovingly,
In Christ's Love,
Christine Duminiak
http://www.christineduminiak.com
At 12:11pm on April 26, 2009, Christine Duminiak said…
Dear Jonnie,

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling over the physical loss of so many beloved members of your family, Hon. You were a wonderful sister to your brother. He will not forget that and God and your brother will be blessing you with many ADC signs from him to let you know that your brother is like an angel on your shoulder now. If you would like to read about the 20 common types of After-Death Communications, please visit my webpage at: http://www.christineduminiak.com/adc.html

You are in my prayers for God to heal your heart and to replace your sorrow with His joy, as well as to receive many wonderful ADC's.

Lovingly,
In Christ's Love,
Christine Duminiak
http://www.christineduminiak.com
At 11:44am on April 26, 2009, Lou LaGrand, Ph.D. said…
Please consider joining a bereavement support group, especially because of multiple losses. There is so much you can learn there and people to meet who can share your pain and understand a little more than the person who is not grieving. Your goal will be to accept and relate to your great losses in a new and different way. There is support out there that can help since hope always springs from our relationships with other people. LLG
At 9:02am on April 26, 2009, Margaret R. said…
I've read that losing our parents takes away a piece of our past, that losing our spouse takes away a piece of our future, but that losing a brother or sister takes away pieces of our past and our future. So this is a huge loss! Please know that you are in a good place with many caring people. Thoughts and prayers are coming to you from south Texas.
At 8:41am on April 26, 2009, Jarvis said…
I am so very sorry. I have a brother that has Crohn's and he is always very sick, and I worry that I may lose him at any time. I really don't know what I would do without him and I am so sorry that you have lost your brother, your mom, Dad and sister. My heart goes out to you. (((((hugs))))))
 
 
 

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G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
17 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
yesterday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Wednesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Tuesday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Tuesday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Monday

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