silvia maria
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  • porto alegre
  • Brazil
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Everything small going wrong trigger a setback

Lately I have been way more seletive about interactions. Because they trigger easily to a place lost in space and time. Its like Rolling down this big Mountain over and over just to feel Al right,…Continue

Started Apr 17

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silvia maria posted blog posts
16 hours ago
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post Creating a MENTAL SPACE perfect to HEAL
Monday
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post Creating a MENTAL SPACE perfect to HEAL
Monday
silvia maria posted blog posts
Monday
silvia maria commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Multiple Losses Group
"I´m picking up my own pieces after multiple loss stroke me in the head like a brick wall."
Sunday
silvia maria joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Sunday
silvia maria replied to Jeff C's discussion Things That We Learn
"I think people generally speaking are at a loss of words. And what they use is far from comforting really...sight"
Sunday
silvia maria shared a profile on Facebook
Sunday
silvia maria shared a profile on Facebook
Sunday
silvia maria updated their profile
Sunday
silvia maria shared a profile on Facebook
Sunday
silvia maria posted blog posts
Sunday
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post All the ghost places
"Anne I can relate. Used to call quiet desperation times. When quiet is assumed to be peaceful. When one does not pour out in the same ways as most would expect. Being an introvert means protecting the thought process to a higher analytical level…"
Sunday
AnneJ commented on silvia maria's blog post All the ghost places
"This site has shown me how many of us walk along the day, silently and mostly anonymous, but with many different worlds that swirl around in us because of the dying and death of the human beings who more important than anything else in the world. I…"
Sunday
silvia maria commented on silvia maria's blog post All the ghost places
":) that´s my trying to express in words dear what things mean in my mind. Seems like some found and echo. Thank you so much for the kind comment, glad expressing this in written form which to me is second skin, I´ve been chief editor…"
Sunday
AnneJ commented on silvia maria's blog post All the ghost places
"Sylvia, your blog is incredible. Ghost Places.... wow. The Window we end up with. I've never heard it this way, the way you explain yourself; the PEOPLE won't come back, just the HURT ..... in the Ghost Places.... the pub and it's…"
Sunday

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a professional who lived abroad and used to a fast pace environment. Currently making some carrer changes to suit my own special needs. Rebuilding my life around this and undertaking suitable treatments. Up until very recently I had been coming closer to my mother and became her primary caregiver. Which was suddenly interrupted by an hemorrhagic avc.
About my Loss:
I am in the process of grieving my mother´s loss. Although she is still alive family members have made a lot of changes making it a lot more inhospitable to visit. She is in a clinic now which I had to report to police for negligence and since other family members chose to keep her there I don´t feel remotely near comfortable to visit. I have done all in my power to change clinics. But as is i have to cope with earlier loss of her without the actual loss of her life yet. I was the primary caregiver. And I am grieving for loosing a lot more than her actual life.

Silvia maria's Blog

Learning to ENJOY life again

Sometimes we get so caght up ih the realms of the what ifs and the have nots and the souldn´t, couldn´t wouldn´t. And what we miss is to find joy in the small things, to smile for the right reasons, and simply EXIST. We put so much pressure in that smile to happen that the guilt or whatever problem shuts the opportunities to ENJOY some more, and allow all to go and fall in place with a little less participation and letting time for things to eventually fall into place. It´s as if we trust…

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Posted on April 26, 2017 at 9:14am

Shifting the mind to the PRESENT

Shifting the mind to the PRESENT is not only good, but necessary. THe PRESENT is the only time that EXISTS. The FUTURE and PAST are not real. They are a construct of our feelings and experiences and projections. The past is not only facts but attributted feelings and worth of experiences. Some taught, some were good, and some we chosse to forget. No matter what bringing the past to the present and projecting forward is a CHOICE. And most of us grieving don´t FEEL it´s a choice. In fact, we…

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Posted on April 25, 2017 at 11:42am

SAFE HEAVEN, a MENTAL SPACE

Many of us wonder if there will ever be PEACE. It does depend upon PEACE is mentally a real possibility. Meaning, you can´t achive what you don´t believe you DESERVE. As SOULS, we don´t come to this existence in pairs, and there is a reason people walk in and out our lives in one way or another, and that is because they are no longer NEEDED, and most likely it´s not for us to decide. It´s contemplation of what is and was that will lead to this very valuable conclusion. Creating to the soul a…

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Posted on April 24, 2017 at 1:30pm — 2 Comments

Finally one day I woke up feeeling ALRIGHT

After so many days and nights in this internal struggle to LIVE in this body and mind that more resembled a world war, being mty body the place and my soul the victim. Only echos of hurt propagating this waves of internal constand struggle. I removed myself from a lot of things, so I could sort out what was internal and triggers and just finding peace was a hard enough JOB. And out there more crap to my crap when craptometer is already running on overload. TODAY I FEEL ALRIGHT. First day in…

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Posted on April 24, 2017 at 8:26am

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Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.  This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
3 hours ago
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
3 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
4 hours ago
Crystal joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
4 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
4 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
5 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
6 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
6 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
7 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now. Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
8 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
8 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
9 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me."
10 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
11 hours ago
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Not sure what is normal, but I do that too -- it's normal to me and I haven't tried to change it. It's not so much that I can't bring myself to use the past tense, more that the present still seems natural to me when something…"
11 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Does anybody else here have issues with talking about your spouse as if they are still with us? I can't bring myself to use my husbands name in the form of the past. I still say things like "my husband and I like...' or "ben IS a…"
12 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My best friends parrot died yesterday and it is hitting me very hard. I am not dealing with it well right now. Lots of tears and sadness. Will this never stop? I do not think it is all about the parrot. It is tied in with my Mom's death…"
15 hours ago
silvia maria posted blog posts
16 hours ago
Chum commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I"
19 hours ago

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