Gina Stroup
  • 61, Female
  • West Covina, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I have been grieving quietly. As not to upset anyone around me.
About my Loss:
I lost my father in 2005 because he choose to smoke. I lost my husband two years later, for the same reason. My husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer in Feb. 2007 and he passed away June 24, 2007. I sometimes still find it hard to believe. It is like a bad dream. I spent 27 wonderful years with my husband. He was my soulmate. The Lord blessed me with one of the best. I just wish we could of had more time together. Losing my husband while he was 54 and I was 49 was one of the hardest things ever. I keep thinking it was all a bad dream. But in reality I know that the Lord was ready to have my husband back home. For some reason, this does not make it any easier for me.
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SOMETIMES I THINK NO ONE KNOWS

Sometimes I think no one know the pain I feel. The tears are real, I feel so lost sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I can't rise above the pain. His photographs are placed in every room in the house. I know he is my angel, I would give anything for one more minute with him. I tell myself to be thankful he is out of the pain that the CANCER caused..... I thank God is was started in stage 4 and ended 4 months later. My pain is nothing compared to the pain he had to go through...

Posted on July 5, 2009 at 4:48pm — 1 Comment

holidays and birthdays

Well as if making it past xmas, new years, my husbands birthday, valentines day, wasn't hard enough now my birthday is coming up. LONELY, LONELY, YUK....
OK LORD I KNOW I AM TO ACCEPT HIS DEATH BUT WHY DOES IT WEIGH SO HEAVY ON MY HEART.
HOLD ME UP LORD, HELP ME TO KEEP GOING ON WITHOUT HIM, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Friends are great, but when couples are around it is a little hard. I guess this shall come to pass..
God bless everyone and hold your head up.

Posted on March 19, 2009 at 12:09am — 3 Comments

Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 10:48am on June 29, 2009, Katherine Ellis said…
I'm so sorry that you had to find this site but so glad that you did. Life is so hard to find that path to get rhough day to day but somehow we do it because we have no other way. God bless. My prayers are with you.
At 5:45pm on March 31, 2009, Lola V said…
I lost my husband five years ago after a battle with cancer. He fought hard. I fought hard to keep him here. I've lost my mom, dad, grandmother, cousin, two uncles, father in law, mother in law and now my husband too all in 22 years. I thought I could get through this on my own, but I'm not moving forward very well. I am going to join a grief support group this month. I miss being a couple and I hate that he is gone.
At 8:37am on January 7, 2009, Jarvis said…
Hi Gina,
Thanks for your support! My cousin has 3 tumors in his spine, prostate and bladder. Right at this very moment he is having his prostate removed. I'm just trying to keep myself busy.
At 7:51am on January 6, 2009, Jarvis said…
Welcome to our community.
Lord, I hate cancer. My grandfather died of cancer and now I just found out 2 days ago my cousin has cancer, we are just waiting until noon today to find out what stage. I'm sick about it, I can't sleep and I cry all the time. I know it is just part of the process, but it doesn't make things easier.
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
17 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
yesterday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Wednesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Tuesday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Tuesday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Monday

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