Gina Stroup
  • 60, Female
  • West Covina, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I have been grieving quietly. As not to upset anyone around me.
About my Loss:
I lost my father in 2005 because he choose to smoke. I lost my husband two years later, for the same reason. My husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer in Feb. 2007 and he passed away June 24, 2007. I sometimes still find it hard to believe. It is like a bad dream. I spent 27 wonderful years with my husband. He was my soulmate. The Lord blessed me with one of the best. I just wish we could of had more time together. Losing my husband while he was 54 and I was 49 was one of the hardest things ever. I keep thinking it was all a bad dream. But in reality I know that the Lord was ready to have my husband back home. For some reason, this does not make it any easier for me.
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SOMETIMES I THINK NO ONE KNOWS

Sometimes I think no one know the pain I feel. The tears are real, I feel so lost sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I can't rise above the pain. His photographs are placed in every room in the house. I know he is my angel, I would give anything for one more minute with him. I tell myself to be thankful he is out of the pain that the CANCER caused..... I thank God is was started in stage 4 and ended 4 months later. My pain is nothing compared to the pain he had to go through...

Posted on July 5, 2009 at 4:48pm — 1 Comment

holidays and birthdays

Well as if making it past xmas, new years, my husbands birthday, valentines day, wasn't hard enough now my birthday is coming up. LONELY, LONELY, YUK....
OK LORD I KNOW I AM TO ACCEPT HIS DEATH BUT WHY DOES IT WEIGH SO HEAVY ON MY HEART.
HOLD ME UP LORD, HELP ME TO KEEP GOING ON WITHOUT HIM, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Friends are great, but when couples are around it is a little hard. I guess this shall come to pass..
God bless everyone and hold your head up.

Posted on March 19, 2009 at 12:09am — 3 Comments

Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 10:48am on June 29, 2009, Katherine Ellis said…
I'm so sorry that you had to find this site but so glad that you did. Life is so hard to find that path to get rhough day to day but somehow we do it because we have no other way. God bless. My prayers are with you.
At 5:45pm on March 31, 2009, Lola V said…
I lost my husband five years ago after a battle with cancer. He fought hard. I fought hard to keep him here. I've lost my mom, dad, grandmother, cousin, two uncles, father in law, mother in law and now my husband too all in 22 years. I thought I could get through this on my own, but I'm not moving forward very well. I am going to join a grief support group this month. I miss being a couple and I hate that he is gone.
At 8:37am on January 7, 2009, Jarvis said…
Hi Gina,
Thanks for your support! My cousin has 3 tumors in his spine, prostate and bladder. Right at this very moment he is having his prostate removed. I'm just trying to keep myself busy.
At 7:51am on January 6, 2009, Jarvis said…
Welcome to our community.
Lord, I hate cancer. My grandfather died of cancer and now I just found out 2 days ago my cousin has cancer, we are just waiting until noon today to find out what stage. I'm sick about it, I can't sleep and I cry all the time. I know it is just part of the process, but it doesn't make things easier.
 
 
 

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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
5 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm now having sleeping problems lately.  Go figure.  I sent you a message Monty. Comforting to see all the posting here.  But, scary to see all the 5,6,7 years since....  God have mercy."
19 hours ago
Profile IconMichelle and Amanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
19 hours ago
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When your ‘life force’ is taken away from you there is no will to go on.  It will be 5 years for me soon and many people think my grief has subsided as I seem to be functioning better, but as I said earlier we just become more adept…"
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on M Adams's blog post Who copes best with loss? Men or women?
"do not no wen dad died i loss my way for long tim u cud  say i did im f i am'thn loss folerd evn my cat i had for 16 yrs in 2016 wish she got me thru few dark tims she did  thn i gon to spirtaslt churchh  fond upliftmtn i di did…"
yesterday
Billy Jo Colt commented on M Adams's blog post Bad behaviour
"Thank you for such a wonderful, in depth and reflective post. It sounds like your Mom really had the devotion and love she richly deserved from you. As you said. The Doctors could have done a lot more. It was if they didn't want involved unless…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friend's, Big Deal, It's St. Patrick's Day. All is does to me is relieve my Husband's death. In 2013 he passed away 2 months after St. Patrick's Day. We did go out to dinner together put he was in so much pain we had…"
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello friends, I’m so grateful to read your honesty about this hell on earth, this unbearable grief that we have (almost) no choice but to bear. I’m sorry I don’t contribute more often. When I think of something to write, in my…"
Sunday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Have been reading comments from the past few days.   Yes, grief is lonely.   I'm so thankful for this group.  Like Joe says, it's really difficult not having our better half here physically, just to appreciate…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, Yes, we all pretty much have found that grief is not a bump on the head.  It is a ripping apart of a quantum soul.  For me it has become an all encompassing desire to plead with the universe to take me.  I do it as I have now…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Same as you if I am not posting anymore God has finally taken me. It will be a joyous day."
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M Adams left a comment for Sue Toler
"So sorry you’re going through such a grievous loss — my mother died recently as well, we were very close and I had been there helping her because she was having increasingly complex health problems over the last five years, so I feel…"
Friday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That you all for your kind compassion.  Just plain hell today as usual.  Tears at times and don't know when or what will trigger them.  The only time I venture out is my daily visit to the cemetery (closest I can be to Her…"
Friday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, My heart ached for you when I read of your breakdown day.  We feel your intense pain and heartache.  Over time we become so adept at carrying our grief, stuffing it and hiding it.  Yet so many times we become so overwhelmed by…"
Friday
Sue Toler updated their profile
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, So sorry to hear about your day. My doctor was the same way with me when I had a breakdown, he could have cared less. Thank God for our friends here who truly understand."
Friday
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's video
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Be thou my vision - (with lyrics)

"dont no why but it  it so sothin relzinin i do"
Friday
dream moon JO B posted a video
Friday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us."
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