Trudy F. Evans
  • Female
  • Ventura, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
Female who really enjoys life but occasionally these feelings hit me and it immobilizes me or I get sick. On those occasions it would be good to have someone who understands those feelings to chat with.
About my Loss:
I lost my 27 yr. old son by suicide. My other son, 35 yrs. was murdered. My husband died of a heart attack at 76 yrs. Had to put my dog down last month. My heart aches when I go by the anniversary of their death's and their birthdays. The first week of Feb. is the anniversary of my two sons. My heart is aching. Nothing seems to help.
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Comment Wall (7 comments)

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At 11:24am on November 12, 2012, Karen Casey said…

Hi Trudy!  I see you haven't been on in awhile, but if you are I read your story and my heart goes out to you.  You have been through so much pain!  I have lost alot of ppl along the way (my mom, brother, dad), but the hardest has been loosing my husband of 28 yrs in 2011.  He was there for strength when I lost the others, but now there is nobody that can take away the pain of loosing him.  He was my soulmate and the best friend I have ever had.  I feel like my life is over.  From reading your posts it sounds like you have been through that pain also.  God bless you and I hope we have a chance to meet on here.

Karen

At 12:30pm on May 16, 2010, Pastor Jenine Marie Mason said…
I understand that "ache" inside and I pray for you a touch of love during those times. Love never dies and so it is always remembered as well. Our ache is a testimony to how much we loved and how deeply. blessings honey..
At 12:27am on January 29, 2010, Trudy F. Evans said…
Thank you, Lou, for your thoughtful help. I'm trying to do all those things. It sometimes gets very difficult to function.
At 6:42pm on January 28, 2010, Lou LaGrand, Ph.D. said…
Trudy: On those difficult days be sure to plan in advance each hour of the day as to what you will do. Find a best friend who understands what is happening and will listen to whatever you have to say. Celebrate the lives of your loved ones in a way that is appropriate for you (light a candle, display a certain picture, play a certain song, visit a special place, go to church, etc.). Try not to isolate yourself. Lou
At 5:07pm on January 28, 2010, Trudy F. Evans said…
Thanks for being my friend, Diana. It's good to be here. ((((HUGS))))
At 5:01pm on January 28, 2010, Jarvis said…
Thanks for adding me as a friend. Sending you virtual (((((hugs))))) ~ Diana
At 4:35pm on January 28, 2010, Gail Richardson gave Trudy F. Evans a gift
 
 
 

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Profile IconKayla and Jazi joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Billy Jo Colt commented on Kelli Auerbach's blog post New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
Friday
Kelli Auerbach posted a blog post

New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
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Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Everyone sounds a little down today.   And that's OK.   I do the same thing.   I am learning how to move on with life.  I know that there will never be another Joe.  He was my life, my love.  I miss…"
Thursday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Over the last couple of days, I've had some real negative thoughts, scary to say the least.  I know I'll never see her here with me again, which I know but can't accept, but today I questioned is she here with me in spirit? …"
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, not that I am glad to  hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living.  At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
Thursday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok.  That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise.  And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead.  It's not possible for me to accept it either.  I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive.  The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable.  While I'm not in that…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Nobody really understands except for the members on this website. It was a life saver for me. Thanks to all of you who share your posts and the support we give each other."
Wednesday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, yes.  Linda, yes.  Marita, yes.  Bulebird, Yes.  I'm becoming paralyzed to the point of petrification.  NOTHING MATTERS except what we all know what it is.  We can't go back and we can't accept…"
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bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here, Marita. Things I would have been able to deal with before (either before I met my husband, or while he was here with me), I cannot handle at all now. Any tiny problem is insurmountable. Everything is. Morgan, I am truly sorry you are…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, i live with constant fear and anxiety. Every time I am confronted with a new problem I break down because my husband is not here to support me, to comfort me, to love me and it is a reminder of my loss.  When things become so…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, My whole problem with myself is I just can't accept my Husband's death and there is a not a thing I can do about it. I want things back the way things were. So to avoid all my breakdowns I try to numb myself with beer. I don't…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I felt something very similar. After a year the pain and shock of mom's death had eased somewhat, but the guilt increased. I learned that grief is a process that has many different facets. I am really amazed by the folks who seem to…"
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Terrible,horrible, crippling breakdown tonight.  I know what triggered it and it is something I have struggled with all these years and the closer I get to trying to solve it the worse the breakdowns are becoming. Problem is I am still unable…"
Wednesday

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