"I saw a photo of a dog who was found after the Oklahoma tornado, loyally sitting by his dead master; he would not leave. Every time I wake up another day without my mom and walk out the door I feel less loyal than that dog. I…"
"When my mom was dying I tried to crawl into bed with her but she stopped me because she was hooked up to so many things. I wanted to hole her in my arms and take away her pain and fear. This is the third Mother's Day without her.…"
"The show "the big c" is coming to an end. The main character is dying and the end has been described as "beautiful." There is nothing beautiful about cancer, it must be stopped!!! Now! Not twenty years or ten…"
"I had a dream about my mom and woke up crying. In the dream my home was decorated for Christmas; it looked like a department store with decorated trees and lights, beautiful. At first I liked it then I started screaming..."My mom…"
"My mom always thought of me, even when she was dying. Cremation is against our religion but my mom wanted to be cremated so I could keep her ashes at home with me. Now I can buy her flowers every week and hold her ashes when I miss her…"
"I'm so sorry for your loss. There have been days where I feel like I'm just waiting to join my mother as well. But I know she wouldn't want that and I know your mother wouldn't want you to join her prematurely either.
"I was abused by my father, luckily he left and my mother picked up the pieces and moved forward. She had to make up for all the hurt we both endured and she did. I really don't know how I can keep going on without her.…"
"I wish I had to words to tell you all what kind of a woman my mother was to me and all those with whom she came into contact. She was beautiful, kind, smart, courageous. When my dad left and she was left alone to raise me she picked…"
"March 17th 2011 was the last day my mom was alive. It was the last time I was able to kiss her, to hold her hand, to know that there was one person in the world who truly loved me and whom I truly loved. It was the day before the world…"
"On March 18th my mom will be gone two years. It hasn't been any easier; I miss her every day. I do, however, feel her presence with me all of the time. I kiss her urn, I bring her flowers, I talk to her all the time. I…"
"I have no advice on how to go on because I am stuck, not wanting to live in a world without my mom. I think, if you have children, you must go on for them because you are the most important person in their lives. If you are alone, like me, I…"
I'm so sorry for your loss. There have been days where I feel like I'm just waiting to join my mother as well. But I know she wouldn't want that and I know your mother wouldn't want you to join her prematurely either.
I think sometimes when we lose a loved one we end up with an idealized version of them in our heads. I don't mean that your mother wasn't wonderful. I'm sure she was. I mean idealized in the sense that we stop thinking about them as a whole person. We just remember the good times. We forget about the times they yelled at us, embarrassed us, or disappointed us. I don't mean to say that that makes them bad people. It just makes them human. Ask yourself what your mother would really tell you if you told her that you didn't want to go on without her. It may be inspirational or it may even be something that makes you laugh. I think my mom would say something like, "Stop worrying about me. Get off your ass and start living your life again."
Sorry about my self-indulgent post. Writing it actually helped me a bit. I hope it helps you too. All the love in the world to you!
Ann I was reading many comments and yours struck me as very close to what I'm going through. My mom was a single mother and we had other family, but we live in another country and we had only each other. She died unexpectedly this year at 70 years old. I have no friends or a significant other, only my godparents who I know love me but I can't really connect with them. Life seems like now like an empty and lonely road from now on and I don't know if I'm going to be able to take it.
thanks Ann, probably you and me understand what we are going through and we might understand why we do things, but some people don't and they start to tell you to get over it. I feel like I am falling apart and that I can't do nothing about it.
hi ann, i know this probably sounds cliche but i really understand how u feel. my mom went to heaven on feb 22, 2012. i really hate the time going by cuz it makes it more real. i dont want it to be real. it seems impossible to me. i never prepared for this. i am 56 years old but i feel like a little girl grieving her mom. how to live without you here ma i will never get used to & i dont want to.
Sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you are feeling. Grieving takes time. You need to get up and think positively. Your mon is in heaven and she would not want to see you lonely and unhappy. Go out with your friends. Try to smile again. Pray and God will give u the strength.
hi Ann. My heart truly goes out to you. I know your loss. You know, I really have been asking myself why do we keep going when they are all gone? There really isn't an answer that comes to mind. Maybe the key is simply just not giving up until our time comes. I don't even know if I believe that but it's another part of this lousy puzzle.
"Thank you for your caring response to my earlier post. I want to know if it is normal to be feeling so depressed and grief stricken after five months. There are days I do not even have the energy or desire to shower and every day finds me crying so…"
"Shortly before our son died my husband and I were up on the mountain at our little house that we built years ago when we were young and strong...I mean we literally built it...hauled the lumber in on an old flatbed truck over an old logging road,…"
"I, too, am comforted by birds. I have an Eastern Blue Bird couple who are nesting on my back deck. I enjoy their courtship, marriage, eggs, babies, and fledging from about 5' from my living room window. Such a pleasure this summer. So good to…"
"Oh Vasanthi and Mary..how beautiful ...and since God IS love...even our poor human attempts at love is a reflection or a tiny bit of HIM...He cares enough for us to let us feel LOVE...He MUST care about how we are feeling....
we went to the mountain…"
"Love and reaching out is the most important thing that I can do for others and myself, I agree whole heartedly! Yes, without faith in God, I would not be "making it" at all. I understand what you are saying Vasanthi. Recently re-read…"
"Love to u all here .. the lord is omniscient and omnipotent-- please trust that--not saying it as some religious crap but saying it because i firmly know it..how? because with all the severe trials one goes through, it still doesn't take away…"
"Michelle, I too, have a friend who has dropped me, but it's because she is dealing with un-dealt with grief. I understand her better after we've talked a couple of times. I miss her, but at this time in our lives we can't help each…"
"Thank you for taking the time to reply. Yes, I really do realize the remodeling is helping my mom. I don't say anything about how I feel because I don't want her to realize that her way of coping is making my coping harder, because that…"
"I have been super emotionaly today. A good friend of mine lost her mother 11 years ago today. She still grieves for her. At the end of June last year we found out my mom had cancer, she died 6 months later. I finding…"
"Angela, I am so so sorry. I lost my best friend and soul mate a year ago and I still cry every day and I still am having trouble moving on. I think we all grieve at our own pace. It has been such a short time for you. …"
"yesterday was my 41 wedding anniversary with my husband. I lost the love of my life 22 months ago. I took two red roses to the cemetery and said a prayer, I love Rick, more today than the day were married. We had a wonderful friendship for two…"
"Angela I am very sorry for your loss. It is not unusual to cry often after any loss of someone so close. I still cry over losing my husband and it is almost 2 1/2 years. What I think is so comforting in your story is all that you learned from your…"
"The sadness that is 24-7 has greatly affected my health, I went to greif counciling for a year and have a wonderful big sister that has been my life saver. Some days I think i'm ok but I cry every night in my sleep 2 years after Gabes death, i…"