Hi,

 

I am 41 years old with two children(ages 10 and 6). My husband got addicted to crack and ended his life going on 4 years this July. We were married for 16 years and I can't seem to move forward. I will be happy for awhile but I always have it in the back of my mind and end up crying a lot and depressed. He started using back in 2002(he hid it from me) and it finally came out in 2005. I long for the family I thought we were going to be. I am upset and depressed. I try to keep it upbeat and be strong for my kids. My son starts soccer tomorrow and my daughter takes dance. He was never mean to me or his kids and didn't live with us 2 years prior to his passing. This disease turned the man I loved and married into another person. I feel so alone sometimes.

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I'm sorry to hear it.  My wife took her life about a month ago, and I'm barely feeling lke I'm starting to get my feet under me again. We'd been together just shy of 15 years.  I know what you mean about longing for what you thought y'all were going to be.  I still really miss that, especially when I think about the good times that we did have together.  We'd gotten a house and as far as I knew, the plan was we were going to grow old together.  I've been very fortunate so far with all the friends and family who've come out to support me through this.  I'm glad you're reaching out here.  I know I've found it helpful to be able to post things, read other people's posts, and chat with them.  Having people to talk to who've experienced similar losses has helped out a lot.  I hope you keep doing so, and that it'll do as much for you, too.
Melinda, I am very sorry.  I have not been able to get my life back, either, since my dad died and my mom was murdered. 
Behind your pain Melinda you have a strong powerful voice for standing up on the war against drugs. Voices need to be heard, storied need to be told. Write your story, share it with us, and lets get it out to help others. Grief is like baseball, either you play the ball or the ball plays you. Grab the ball and win the game. I will help you get your message out.  Thank you for sharing, sending you love, Coach Louise

Melinda- I am 46 yrs old, I have 3 children (adults, teenager and grand kids) My husband sudden died in motorcycle accident since last September 2010, I know how you feel my husband is alcoholic for long time, every time I told him to go to detox, he went but he got relapse few times. I have been under lot of stress dealing with his alcoholic for long time. Of course is a disease he can not change himself. After I found out when he died got a report 2 months later from medical examination was told he was drinking, I was so Piss, crying, yelled at him at the grave. But important thing is thanks god I didn't join with him for a ride. "Melinda just remember he didn't want anyone see him the way he is (you and your kids). I am still mourning, adjust myself to move on slowly.

 

I want to tell you something that I found may help you and your kids. I went to Barnes & Nobles Store, I just looking around (keep me out of the house) I found a book is call Widow to Widow made by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg M.S. is a great BOOK. I suggestion to get it, is help me better and slowly

 

Keep In touch Melinda

Melinda, I to have a similiar story, My husband battled drug addiction for nearly half his life. He finally conquered it the last three years of his life only to die suddenly from a brain anyresum brought on from the years of abuse. I amm going through the stages of anger of not only what he lost out on..we have a four year old daughter, but also the life I could have had the last seventeen years with him. I feel as if most of my life has been a waste. Iam currently struggling to regain any kind of my sense of self yet the anger and overwhelming hurt of the past and the fact he is gone and I have to deal with this myself is overwhelming at times. I know I will work thru this pain and come out with a new perspective and it will take time. we cant do it all at once.  Please keep in touch.

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