"Welcome to the group. I lost my partner on February 5th this year, so it's still pretty raw for me too. Reading through your story really touched a chord with me. Like you, I didn't think I would ever find a group like…"
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To many losses
On March 13th I lost the love of my life. We had only been together 14 short months, but it was the best 14 months of my life! I'm having such a hard time coping without him. I think about him constantly and can't quit crying. We knew he had cancer, but thought we would have a few more years together. He'd been going to chemotherapy and was doing really well, then I got the flu. Unfortunately, I passed it to him and he got pneumonia and RSV. My poor baby didn't have a chance. I just want to scream that it's NOT FAIR and WHY did he have to die! I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, talk to anyone or eat.
In less than 2 years, I've suffered the loss of 2 husbands and my dad. I've also lost one of my boys in a car accident when he was 18 (though it was several years ago). I feel like I'm destined to live the rest of my life alone and I'm only 62! I feel like I jinx anyone that I have a relationship with. I truly enjoy being married. I love everything about it. I REALLY miss the companionship. We did everything together and we spent 24/7/365 together. We were both retired and truly enjoyed life and being together. My heart is so broken and I'm filled with grief. It feels like nothing will ever be the same again.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by O.L. Cato on
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I lost my husband 100 days ago. Nothing will ever be the same. I keep thinking he will come through the door. My heart is broken. I have given some of his clothes away but then I wonder how he will feel when he comes home and they are gone. I KNOW he won't be back but somewhere in the back of my mind I keep hoping. His truck is on the driveway. I can't sell it. I have never known such pain and understand how Roseanne and Mori feel.
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Permalink Reply by Rosanne Wick on
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about feeling like he's going to walk through the door any minute. It truly does make your heart feel like it's broken. It feels like there's a steal band around your heart squeezing harder and harder. And you feel like you're living in a nightmare, and when you wake up he'll be there. You want so badly to talk to them one more time and tell them how much you love them and how much they meant to you. It's the constant ache of longing.
One thing I've done with some of his clothes, is make memorial pillows for the kids. I took a small decorator size pillow form and cut a T-shirt to fit it. Then I took one of his plaid shirts and cut it to fit over the pillow with the collar and the button placard. The kid's love them! Another thing you can do is, find a picture of your husband wearing a shirt that you still have. Find a frame that's much bigger than the picture and cover the background with a piece of the fabric from the shirt. Then attach the picture on the fabric. I call it a labor of love.
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