Today was ridiculously hard. Two years ago today the surgeon came out of the operating room to inform me that he had found a tumor on my husbands appendix that had metastasized into his abdomen and that he was stage four cancer and had maybe 9 months left to live. He left me crying desperately on the floor. My husband lasted 26 days. 

I have cried so hard the first part of today I have nothing left. I am exhausted and forever alone when my only reason for living was to share life and love with him. Nothing else while trying to reconstruct my life since then gives me any joy. Life is so hollow without his energy. All I want is to be with him again. 

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I am so sorry for your loss and to see anybody in this much pain it really bothers me. I am going through the same exact thing. If I hear one more person tell me to take it day by day I'm going to scream. I wonder if you feel the same way. It is just an empty lonely feeling and nobody understands. Everyone says to me snap out of it, easier said than done I want to snap out of it I just can't.do you feel the same way, if so you're not alone.
To experience a loss of a mate is devastating. There is nothing that can make you whole again. The only way to feel a measure of comfort is by having a solid hope for the future. A time where what we lost will be replaced. And a time when we will never have to experience losing them again. A time of peace, Love and security a time like this is for told in the Bible. John 5:28, 29. Acts 24 vs 15. Rev 21 vs 3, 4. I hope reading these things give you a small comfort and hope to draw from as each day goes on. As you do live each day I pray that you will find a hope so secure in knowing you can see your loved ones again. I pray for this time as I reflect on my friend and even the recent loss of another dear friend so suddenly.

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