My only love died November 25th of 2018. He and I shared 24 years together. He believed he would survive and had so many good days with a big laugh and smiles. But, only in the 2nd month of it he grabbed my arm and tears wept from his eyes he said" hunni, I'm being executed by cancer" I cryed with him it's not fair! Why can't someone please come out with a cure by now? I miss him so bad I don't know how to go on day to day. I do because I have kids, i do because it's not my turn. I will see you again my sweet, my soulmate.

Views: 80

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Connie,

Just approaching one month past the loss of your beloved and you are weeping.  You are in shock.  You have lost a part of you that was embedded in you.  Cancer is an insidious disease that is heartless.  Anyone can be a target.  Young or old, healthy or not........it takes no prisoners.  I lost my beloved to stage 4 diagnosed the day after Xmas in 2013.  They said four to six months.  He lasted 27 days.

I have lived with the grief up until this very night.  35 years with absolute devotion to each other, no kids.  I can only hope your children will give you more purpose and reason to cope the best you can.  It will be the hardest thing you will eve have to do.  For many people reading that others struggle with the same feelings helps to know you are actually normal for feeling the way you do.   My hope is like yours. that I will see him again.  I must hang onto that belief or I would never have made it this far.  But I am tired so I can also hope that I don't have to wait too long.  At 66 and alone it would be a relief to go.  I know he's not coming back here so going to him would be wonderful.  I surely hope that my belief will be realized......

Girl, (Don't take that wrong), I agree. but mine happened in  such a different way.   My love had health issues, but he didn't pay attention because of my cancer diagnosis. Sooo...I survived, but he didn't.  FUCK cancer!!!!

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
5 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm now having sleeping problems lately.  Go figure.  I sent you a message Monty. Comforting to see all the posting here.  But, scary to see all the 5,6,7 years since....  God have mercy."
20 hours ago
Profile IconMichelle and Amanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
20 hours ago
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When your ‘life force’ is taken away from you there is no will to go on.  It will be 5 years for me soon and many people think my grief has subsided as I seem to be functioning better, but as I said earlier we just become more adept…"
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on M Adams's blog post Who copes best with loss? Men or women?
"do not no wen dad died i loss my way for long tim u cud  say i did im f i am'thn loss folerd evn my cat i had for 16 yrs in 2016 wish she got me thru few dark tims she did  thn i gon to spirtaslt churchh  fond upliftmtn i di did…"
yesterday
Billy Jo Colt commented on M Adams's blog post Bad behaviour
"Thank you for such a wonderful, in depth and reflective post. It sounds like your Mom really had the devotion and love she richly deserved from you. As you said. The Doctors could have done a lot more. It was if they didn't want involved unless…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friend's, Big Deal, It's St. Patrick's Day. All is does to me is relieve my Husband's death. In 2013 he passed away 2 months after St. Patrick's Day. We did go out to dinner together put he was in so much pain we had…"
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello friends, I’m so grateful to read your honesty about this hell on earth, this unbearable grief that we have (almost) no choice but to bear. I’m sorry I don’t contribute more often. When I think of something to write, in my…"
Sunday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Have been reading comments from the past few days.   Yes, grief is lonely.   I'm so thankful for this group.  Like Joe says, it's really difficult not having our better half here physically, just to appreciate…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, Yes, we all pretty much have found that grief is not a bump on the head.  It is a ripping apart of a quantum soul.  For me it has become an all encompassing desire to plead with the universe to take me.  I do it as I have now…"
Sunday
Melissa is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Same as you if I am not posting anymore God has finally taken me. It will be a joyous day."
Saturday
M Adams left a comment for Sue Toler
"So sorry you’re going through such a grievous loss — my mother died recently as well, we were very close and I had been there helping her because she was having increasingly complex health problems over the last five years, so I feel…"
Friday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That you all for your kind compassion.  Just plain hell today as usual.  Tears at times and don't know when or what will trigger them.  The only time I venture out is my daily visit to the cemetery (closest I can be to Her…"
Friday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, My heart ached for you when I read of your breakdown day.  We feel your intense pain and heartache.  Over time we become so adept at carrying our grief, stuffing it and hiding it.  Yet so many times we become so overwhelmed by…"
Friday
Sue Toler updated their profile
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, So sorry to hear about your day. My doctor was the same way with me when I had a breakdown, he could have cared less. Thank God for our friends here who truly understand."
Friday
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's video
Thumbnail

Be thou my vision - (with lyrics)

"dont no why but it  it so sothin relzinin i do"
Friday
dream moon JO B posted a video
Friday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us."
Thursday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service