Connie miller
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  • Gastonia, NC
  • United States
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Cancer executed him!
2 Replies

My only love died November 25th of 2018. He and I shared 24 years together. He believed he would survive and had so many good days with a big laugh and smiles. But, only in the 2nd month of it he…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Kathleen Jordan Mar 12.

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Kathleen Jordan replied to Connie miller's discussion Cancer executed him!
"Girl, (Don't take that wrong), I agree. but mine happened in  such a different way.   My love had health issues, but he didn't pay attention because of my cancer diagnosis. Sooo...I survived, but he didn't.  FUCK…"
Mar 12
morgan replied to Connie miller's discussion Cancer executed him!
"Connie, Just approaching one month past the loss of your beloved and you are weeping.  You are in shock.  You have lost a part of you that was embedded in you.  Cancer is an insidious disease that is heartless.  Anyone can be a…"
Dec 26, 2018
morgan and Connie miller are now friends
Dec 25, 2018
Connie miller posted a discussion

Cancer executed him!

My only love died November 25th of 2018. He and I shared 24 years together. He believed he would survive and had so many good days with a big laugh and smiles. But, only in the 2nd month of it he grabbed my arm and tears wept from his eyes he said" hunni, I'm being executed by cancer" I cryed with him it's not fair! Why can't someone please come out with a cure by now? I miss him so bad I don't know how to go on day to day. I do because I have kids, i do because it's not my turn. I will see you…See More
Dec 25, 2018
Connie miller replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Cancer Sucks -- how do I deal with this
"I lost my husband on November 25th 2018 he had stage 4 cancer I lost him within 3 months. This Christmas was so hard. I'm tired of people who haven't lost anyone that it gets easier. All I need is time. I'm so ss for everyone who lost…"
Dec 25, 2018
morgan left a comment for Connie miller
"Connie,  this is a very raw time for you and those of us here who have lost our beloved know how you are feeling.......I am sorry you had to find us but for many of us this is a lifeline.  I will hope you will find ways to cope with your…"
Dec 25, 2018
Connie miller is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 25, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
Widow recent. Age 55 live in N.C.
About my Loss:
Lost my husband on Nov 25th 2018. Cancer spent 24 years together.

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At 3:53pm on December 25, 2018, morgan said…

Connie,  this is a very raw time for you and those of us here who have lost our beloved know how you are feeling.......I am sorry you had to find us but for many of us this is a lifeline.  I will hope you will find ways to cope with your pain. Each of us use different tools and much of it is an impossible task. Take baby steps.  An hour at a time and sometimes only a minute at a time.  Do what you can.  Dont let anyone else tell you how and how long you need to grieve.  

In the past five Xmases i have hibernated and only spoken to those who try to understand me.  Those people are down to three.  It takes too much of my deleted energy to go much further.  

Read on here and you will see that losing your beloved is a lot more complicated than society will admit.  But know your grief is valid and to be expected.  

I just wanted you to know your post on a day like today did not go unnoticed.  Take the best care you can.  Come here when you need to.  We understand.

morgan

BTW, even though I am trying to be consoling I wont kid you.  This will be the hardest thing you will ever attempt to do and the fact I can even try to write something that reaches out to you is only through grueling practice.  Most often I am very fragile and need support.  I come here often and will continue to till my own dying day.  I thank everyone here for being so honest so I know I am not crazy.  

 
 
 

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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am finding it so hard to keep motivated.  I have tons I need to do to keep afloat and try to honor the legacy of my husband and yet all I seem able to do is push myself, force myself.......constantly. Its the putting on the mask and…"
4 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm now having sleeping problems lately.  Go figure.  I sent you a message Monty. Comforting to see all the posting here.  But, scary to see all the 5,6,7 years since....  God have mercy."
19 hours ago
Profile IconMichelle and Amanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
19 hours ago
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When your ‘life force’ is taken away from you there is no will to go on.  It will be 5 years for me soon and many people think my grief has subsided as I seem to be functioning better, but as I said earlier we just become more adept…"
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on M Adams's blog post Who copes best with loss? Men or women?
"do not no wen dad died i loss my way for long tim u cud  say i did im f i am'thn loss folerd evn my cat i had for 16 yrs in 2016 wish she got me thru few dark tims she did  thn i gon to spirtaslt churchh  fond upliftmtn i di did…"
yesterday
Billy Jo Colt commented on M Adams's blog post Bad behaviour
"Thank you for such a wonderful, in depth and reflective post. It sounds like your Mom really had the devotion and love she richly deserved from you. As you said. The Doctors could have done a lot more. It was if they didn't want involved unless…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Friend's, Big Deal, It's St. Patrick's Day. All is does to me is relieve my Husband's death. In 2013 he passed away 2 months after St. Patrick's Day. We did go out to dinner together put he was in so much pain we had…"
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello friends, I’m so grateful to read your honesty about this hell on earth, this unbearable grief that we have (almost) no choice but to bear. I’m sorry I don’t contribute more often. When I think of something to write, in my…"
yesterday
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Have been reading comments from the past few days.   Yes, grief is lonely.   I'm so thankful for this group.  Like Joe says, it's really difficult not having our better half here physically, just to appreciate…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, Yes, we all pretty much have found that grief is not a bump on the head.  It is a ripping apart of a quantum soul.  For me it has become an all encompassing desire to plead with the universe to take me.  I do it as I have now…"
Sunday
Melissa is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Same as you if I am not posting anymore God has finally taken me. It will be a joyous day."
Saturday
M Adams left a comment for Sue Toler
"So sorry you’re going through such a grievous loss — my mother died recently as well, we were very close and I had been there helping her because she was having increasingly complex health problems over the last five years, so I feel…"
Friday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That you all for your kind compassion.  Just plain hell today as usual.  Tears at times and don't know when or what will trigger them.  The only time I venture out is my daily visit to the cemetery (closest I can be to Her…"
Friday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, My heart ached for you when I read of your breakdown day.  We feel your intense pain and heartache.  Over time we become so adept at carrying our grief, stuffing it and hiding it.  Yet so many times we become so overwhelmed by…"
Friday
Sue Toler updated their profile
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, So sorry to hear about your day. My doctor was the same way with me when I had a breakdown, he could have cared less. Thank God for our friends here who truly understand."
Friday
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's video
Thumbnail

Be thou my vision - (with lyrics)

"dont no why but it  it so sothin relzinin i do"
Friday
dream moon JO B posted a video
Friday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, So sorry to hear that you are having an extraordinarily bad day... This is the life for us after we are left here in this world without the love of our life beside us."
Thursday

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