Two weeks ago I lost my love, my soulmate of 33 years.  We got married young and loved to be togther and lived for each other.  We lived a simple life but had such joy and love for each other.  He also was loved by so many friends and relatives.  He was such a happy giving person.  He left me with two awesome sons.  I am so very lost without him and the pain is crushing me.  The doctor gave me medicine to help with the depression and panic I am feeling, but it really doesn't help all that much.  I feel like my heart is going to explode and I don't want to live without him.  I want make him proud of me. I know I am putting up a good front for people but inside I am crushed. I just want to know why. He was only 54.  We had just started a year ago on a healthy diet/excercise program and were doing great.  We lost over ll5 pounds together.  He was really the perfect husband and and awesome father.  I know he did not want to leave me. Is there anyone who knows how to communicate with a lost love one.  I just want to hear from him once more and tell him how much i miss him.  He knew How much I loved him and I knew how much he loved me.  All this is just too much to bear.

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sorry about your loss... 

I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my  husband of 3 years 6 months ago, he was shot and killed right in front of me.  He was only 44.  Although you and your husband had been married a lot longer than we were, I know exactly how you feel.  Until you go thru this horrible loss no one knows what it is like.  I have drugs to take as well but nothing helps the hollow feeling like a part of you is missing and will never be back.  I also lost my father 2 weeks after my husband was killed so my mother is grieving as well and I have to be brave in front of her.  I can not give you any words of encouragement, people always say "one day at a time", well it hurts more with each day so there is no comfort in that.  I just ask myself what we ever did to have this happen to us.  My life has changed and will never be the same.

You are going through a horrible time also. I don't think we did anything to deserve this.  I really do believe that God had our days numbered from the time we are born.  It comforts me to know that my husband is in heaven with him and I have decided that I am going to live my life so that I can be with him when my time comes.  I cannot change what happened hear on earth. But I can certainly make sure I see heaven and my husband again. That is the only place I am drawing comfort.  I loved him so much that I will live my life for him as he would want me too. I have two sons that help me every day. My mother is greiving too as she lost my dad 7 years ago.  You don't have to be brave in front of her.  Maybe you can join a greif support group together.  That might help both of you.  Sorry for your loss. We are in this together.

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