Dear Sandra, First let me say how sorry I am to hear of losing your only daughter.  I wanted to respond because I lost my only child, my daughter, March 26, 2010.  You are having the same feelings as I was and still sometimes do.  It is very, very difficult.  Believe me I understand that pain.  I do hope you will stay in touch and just talk if that's what you need. When it first happened I couldn't even go back to work.  I was in shock for a long time.  I had many people praying for me and I think that is what helped me most.  It won't be easy - you have to take it one moment at a time. If you ever need to talk please let me know.  Everybody is different in handling their grief.  I don't think you will ever stop grieving.  Sending lots of hugs to you!

i am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter 2 years ago in june. I know its horrible and i know you probobly feel like a prisioner trapped on the earth. Thats how i feel it was alot worse for the first year. I always told people at least people and prision know their sentence. I still have alot of hard days but the first year is the worst i think. You never stop hurting you just learn to live with it. It just becomes part of your daily emotions. You have a long way to go and alot of work to do before life has any flavor again but it does get better. it will never be the same but it gets better. it may help if you look up the compassionate friends group in your area. They have monthley meetings and everyone there is going through what you are. It is possible to survive this. I wish you the best and i hope you find some peace. God bless you and remember you will see her again in Gods time.

Sandra, you wrote, "I guess I just don't understand how you can do it".  We do it just like you are doing it.  Moment by moment, then hour by hour, and day by day.  You can't go farther than that.  Especially in the beginning.  I remember when every time I woke from sleep my first thoughts were of my son.  I'm grateful now that it doesn't happen every time.  In the beginning it was always on my mind, but now I get breaks from it.  I still cry every day, but not as much.  I feel like I'm healing a little and that alone gives me some hope for a future that will not always be so sad.  As for the job interview, I don't know how you will get through that.  Can you possibly postpone it for awhile?  You said that you have always taken care of yourself in any situation, but this is not just any situation.  This will probably be the worst thing that could ever happen to you.  You will find a way to survive, but it will be your greatest challenge.  I have been there and I don't even want to think about those first months.  You are in your first weeks.  I know how awful you feel, how bad you ache, how you feel you can't go on, but you can and you will.  Minute by minute, hour by hour, and then day by day.  Allow yourself time to heal.  I wish I knew more.  I wish I could actually help.  All I can do is be here and pray for you.  Hugs