When we have a loss we go through stages that arent forever, they move along like a roller coaster of a range of extreme feelings. Like a roller coaster between anger, frustration, sadness and feels like there is no end to the HURT. By interactions and a pattern of attracting equals in any level of interactions there may be, if we were to watch ourselves as the third person holding a camera to our outer expression we wouldcertainly qualify for best actor/actress of a mexican soapopera. We would look puzzled why we didn´t try to sleep more, rest more, do less and make ourselves look a little better outside our homes and all. But that´s the mess we see, that´s the mess we are just expressed in interactions we might not be able to do better. And if we were to look from a very COMPASSIONATE third part, we would hug that person so much until they got the message...you are loved and everything is going to be alright, hang in there, you are better than this. So, why we seek for that confort from places outside ourselves? Why we get frustrated or more hurt when everybody expects us to feel good overnight but their words and motives are deplorable, the best they can be since most never have been there wehere we stand in the first person and if they were they might not process the same way or know what to do or say. And others despize their own experience, they don´t have genuine love for SELF in the feelings of vulnerability. It´s not about the POOR ME or else. It´s about being KIND to feelings of SELF and OTHERS. Most people will find their way out of anything, they don´t need one to grab the hand. We aren´t children. But why we are so good in conforting others and quite not as good to comfort SELF? Sometimes it works like that. We hear our voices giving a good advice or kind words, but we can´t do the same to ourselves. THus, SLOWING DOWN to me is necessary at this POINT IN TIME, whereas we aren´t being FAIR to ourSELVES. We are being our toughest critics but we are so much nicer to the outer world and just lining up to get more crap that way. There is a need to FOCUS HEALING about inner SELF. More than to others. We can´t give out what we on´t have. We just send a message out to be abused that way. We abuse SELF, but are WONDERFUL to others...what does that say about WHO WE TRULY ARE? Slow down means doing more quality interactions with SELF and worrying less with ohters. Meaning, we will refuse to get sucked in their drama by just CALMING mind, body, spirit to calm our own emotions. To sleep good, to eat right, to avoid accidents of any nature, to find in SELF a perfect MENTAL SPACE to fully EXIST with no need to content anyone else. We tune down into what we share of our drama, and we don´t take the SAVIOUR/VICTIM tempting us into other people´s dramas. We have minimum engaging really wishing them well, but fully understanding we are busy enough dealing with our own HEALING, and we can´t afford getting into more dramas elsewhere. We can stil be in their lives, but more so IN OUR OWN LIVES and healing. Eventually finding what to expose to that helps the healing. Being that family time, dog walks, music, or just EXISTING without having to THINK so MUCH. Tuning down the brain a little to ENJOY the dsimple EXISTANCE. If we have shelter, food, loving people to the extent they are positive to us, and in solitude the time we need to be...we will make the SUFFERING time so much shorter and better than if we give into the NEEDING patterns of really just shows the hurt and propagate. There is something to be said about AMPLIFIED emotions. They will HAPPEN at every DIFFICULT TIMES IN LIFE. Some of us have PILES of losses, and we have that amplified 1000 x. But echoing that out will just bring people that never will leave their issues, and who are we to judge? We are all spiritual beings living a huma experience. Each of us has their own level of choices, the timing they had enough of it and move direction or whatever, and some will give into drinking, sex and other addictions that will NUMB their feelings until they leave this body. We might LOOK for CONFORT in places that aren´t like us at all, people we would never hang out with. But realizing the dangers of vulnerability and that we can walk and choose better folks to walk with is what DETERMINES what we will ACCEPT being EXPOSED. Lets say that drinking will lead to drugs or else, there is no doubt it does not take anywhere useful. Whilst being in support groups is more like that company that feels better influence. Some go to internet dating, or bars and have a promiscuous life in return to some ways of comforting. But who wants to have sexual diseases, sleepless nights, and pregnancy from any drunk out there? I doubt. So there is something to be said about SOLITUDE and finding CONTENT is SELF COMPANY and then being KIND TO SELF to sort out the COMPANY according to OWN IDEA OF GOOD COMPANY TO SELF. If we are being GENTLE and KIND to OUR OWN FEELINGS, there is just peers being good and kind that will feel comfortable near us, but takes a little time to SHIFT and dettach from some peers to other kinds of influence. Sometimes family can be a real CATALYST for worse or better, needing distancin and putting a stop to the coming and going and the craps our ways. Meaning, unless we stop ginving SHIT to OURSELVES, we will be forever VICTIMS of OTHERS. And most I´d like to think are children of God, in fact all, and we DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER than that. Learnig to SLOW DOWN, makes sure we have the GRATITUDE for all the SMAL DEEDS our ways we wouldn´t PERCEIVE if we were trying to make a SPEEDY recovery into the timing clockwise. It´s the clock that is biological that is really the best indicator, and feeling good before any interaction that sets in motion what is ALLOWED and expected to come and STAY around us. In any capacity. FAITH and PRAYERS help, and GRATITUDE is the best. Opens the doors of our existence to more of IT.

Views: 36

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Groups

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
4 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's been a little bit since I shared but it seems like I'm just stuck, out of sync with everything included myself in a way.  It's been like one long endless day.  I don't know how to explain it even.  I'm…"
6 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, For some of us, we will always remain out of sync with the rest of world. We, like myself. live in our own universe."
9 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.   You are making a positive impact, I know…"
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
16 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked…"
17 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, it gives me such a lift to hear about your new gig — sounds perfect! Lucky kids too, great when they can connect with an adult who also makes them laugh.   Your comment re the spirit world app that Avi came across brought back a…"
21 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, things like that scare the crap out of me. I mean, how do you know that you are actually communicating with your mom, and not something bad? I believe that you may open yourself to something that may attach itself to you. That's just…"
yesterday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lisa
"Dear Lisa, I send you my heartfelt condolences as well as a welcome to our website. It is a safe place to come and talk or vent about your loss. Talking is very helpful in sorting out how to move forward. I would like to share a paragraph from what…"
yesterday
P updated their profile
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No we should not, God is the only communicator Avi, you are right. We should not disturb the deceased, they are in peace, it is us who are not in peace. I still struggle everyday, I just have come to recognize that this is my new life.  "
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, I m sure everyone on our forum had a very bad day. I just kept myself very busy all. Since I live in Florida and it is in the 70's I worked outside all day long. I feel Julian is with when I am outside. He knew I just loved the outdoors…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Friends,  Few days back I came to know an app EquoVox which can help you communicate with your loved ones who are deceased. It seems be fake to me but have seen some videos on you tube people claiming its real. Did anybody on this group…"
yesterday
Profile IconValerie Groh, diane, Lisa and 6 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, It is so true, my Julian and I celebrated everyday of our life together like you an Joseph. We were Blessed."
Thursday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, thank you for the post. The words ring very true. Today is Valentine’s Day, but fortunately for me, Joseph and I didn’t always celebrate on this day. We didn’t feel that we had to show our love and devotion on a specific day…"
Thursday
Linda Engberg left a comment for Lisa
"Welcome to Online Grief Support it is a great community."
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks everyone. I was upset that we couldn't share our posts, now I am fine. Thanks"
Thursday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Gotta go will post soon. "
Thursday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service