When we have a loss we go through stages that arent forever, they move along like a roller coaster of a range of extreme feelings. Like a roller coaster between anger, frustration, sadness and feels like there is no end to the HURT. By interactions and a pattern of attracting equals in any level of interactions there may be, if we were to watch ourselves as the third person holding a camera to our outer expression we wouldcertainly qualify for best actor/actress of a mexican soapopera. We would look puzzled why we didn´t try to sleep more, rest more, do less and make ourselves look a little better outside our homes and all. But that´s the mess we see, that´s the mess we are just expressed in interactions we might not be able to do better. And if we were to look from a very COMPASSIONATE third part, we would hug that person so much until they got the message...you are loved and everything is going to be alright, hang in there, you are better than this. So, why we seek for that confort from places outside ourselves? Why we get frustrated or more hurt when everybody expects us to feel good overnight but their words and motives are deplorable, the best they can be since most never have been there wehere we stand in the first person and if they were they might not process the same way or know what to do or say. And others despize their own experience, they don´t have genuine love for SELF in the feelings of vulnerability. It´s not about the POOR ME or else. It´s about being KIND to feelings of SELF and OTHERS. Most people will find their way out of anything, they don´t need one to grab the hand. We aren´t children. But why we are so good in conforting others and quite not as good to comfort SELF? Sometimes it works like that. We hear our voices giving a good advice or kind words, but we can´t do the same to ourselves. THus, SLOWING DOWN to me is necessary at this POINT IN TIME, whereas we aren´t being FAIR to ourSELVES. We are being our toughest critics but we are so much nicer to the outer world and just lining up to get more crap that way. There is a need to FOCUS HEALING about inner SELF. More than to others. We can´t give out what we on´t have. We just send a message out to be abused that way. We abuse SELF, but are WONDERFUL to others...what does that say about WHO WE TRULY ARE? Slow down means doing more quality interactions with SELF and worrying less with ohters. Meaning, we will refuse to get sucked in their drama by just CALMING mind, body, spirit to calm our own emotions. To sleep good, to eat right, to avoid accidents of any nature, to find in SELF a perfect MENTAL SPACE to fully EXIST with no need to content anyone else. We tune down into what we share of our drama, and we don´t take the SAVIOUR/VICTIM tempting us into other people´s dramas. We have minimum engaging really wishing them well, but fully understanding we are busy enough dealing with our own HEALING, and we can´t afford getting into more dramas elsewhere. We can stil be in their lives, but more so IN OUR OWN LIVES and healing. Eventually finding what to expose to that helps the healing. Being that family time, dog walks, music, or just EXISTING without having to THINK so MUCH. Tuning down the brain a little to ENJOY the dsimple EXISTANCE. If we have shelter, food, loving people to the extent they are positive to us, and in solitude the time we need to be...we will make the SUFFERING time so much shorter and better than if we give into the NEEDING patterns of really just shows the hurt and propagate. There is something to be said about AMPLIFIED emotions. They will HAPPEN at every DIFFICULT TIMES IN LIFE. Some of us have PILES of losses, and we have that amplified 1000 x. But echoing that out will just bring people that never will leave their issues, and who are we to judge? We are all spiritual beings living a huma experience. Each of us has their own level of choices, the timing they had enough of it and move direction or whatever, and some will give into drinking, sex and other addictions that will NUMB their feelings until they leave this body. We might LOOK for CONFORT in places that aren´t like us at all, people we would never hang out with. But realizing the dangers of vulnerability and that we can walk and choose better folks to walk with is what DETERMINES what we will ACCEPT being EXPOSED. Lets say that drinking will lead to drugs or else, there is no doubt it does not take anywhere useful. Whilst being in support groups is more like that company that feels better influence. Some go to internet dating, or bars and have a promiscuous life in return to some ways of comforting. But who wants to have sexual diseases, sleepless nights, and pregnancy from any drunk out there? I doubt. So there is something to be said about SOLITUDE and finding CONTENT is SELF COMPANY and then being KIND TO SELF to sort out the COMPANY according to OWN IDEA OF GOOD COMPANY TO SELF. If we are being GENTLE and KIND to OUR OWN FEELINGS, there is just peers being good and kind that will feel comfortable near us, but takes a little time to SHIFT and dettach from some peers to other kinds of influence. Sometimes family can be a real CATALYST for worse or better, needing distancin and putting a stop to the coming and going and the craps our ways. Meaning, unless we stop ginving SHIT to OURSELVES, we will be forever VICTIMS of OTHERS. And most I´d like to think are children of God, in fact all, and we DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER than that. Learnig to SLOW DOWN, makes sure we have the GRATITUDE for all the SMAL DEEDS our ways we wouldn´t PERCEIVE if we were trying to make a SPEEDY recovery into the timing clockwise. It´s the clock that is biological that is really the best indicator, and feeling good before any interaction that sets in motion what is ALLOWED and expected to come and STAY around us. In any capacity. FAITH and PRAYERS help, and GRATITUDE is the best. Opens the doors of our existence to more of IT.

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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, Bluebell,   thanks for the love and for caring.  I am still afraid of not knowing what happens to people that end their life.  I wouldnt want to ruin my only chance to be with her again.  Then again, wouldn’t a…"
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I thought about it but it was never a real possibility for me. As I said earlier, there is nothing in this world that would hurt my mom more than ending my own life. I will never do it. I try to be careful. I'm such a religious…"
17 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree with you Virginia. Sometimes we actually dont know what we are doing."
19 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

What Can Help Me if I'm Depressed?

The best help comes from “God, Who comforts and encourages and refreshes and cheers the depressed.”—2 Corinthians 7:6, The Amplified Bible.What God gives to help the depressedStrength. God “refreshes and cheers” you, not by removing all your problems, but by answering your prayers when you pray for the strength to cope. (…See More
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
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Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
Thursday

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