Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
When we have a loss we go through stages that arent forever, they move along like a roller coaster of a range of extreme feelings. Like a roller coaster between anger, frustration, sadness and feels like there is no end to the HURT. By interactions and a pattern of attracting equals in any level of interactions there may be, if we were to watch ourselves as the third person holding a camera to our outer expression we wouldcertainly qualify for best actor/actress of a mexican soapopera. We would look puzzled why we didn´t try to sleep more, rest more, do less and make ourselves look a little better outside our homes and all. But that´s the mess we see, that´s the mess we are just expressed in interactions we might not be able to do better. And if we were to look from a very COMPASSIONATE third part, we would hug that person so much until they got the message...you are loved and everything is going to be alright, hang in there, you are better than this. So, why we seek for that confort from places outside ourselves? Why we get frustrated or more hurt when everybody expects us to feel good overnight but their words and motives are deplorable, the best they can be since most never have been there wehere we stand in the first person and if they were they might not process the same way or know what to do or say. And others despize their own experience, they don´t have genuine love for SELF in the feelings of vulnerability. It´s not about the POOR ME or else. It´s about being KIND to feelings of SELF and OTHERS. Most people will find their way out of anything, they don´t need one to grab the hand. We aren´t children. But why we are so good in conforting others and quite not as good to comfort SELF? Sometimes it works like that. We hear our voices giving a good advice or kind words, but we can´t do the same to ourselves. THus, SLOWING DOWN to me is necessary at this POINT IN TIME, whereas we aren´t being FAIR to ourSELVES. We are being our toughest critics but we are so much nicer to the outer world and just lining up to get more crap that way. There is a need to FOCUS HEALING about inner SELF. More than to others. We can´t give out what we on´t have. We just send a message out to be abused that way. We abuse SELF, but are WONDERFUL to others...what does that say about WHO WE TRULY ARE? Slow down means doing more quality interactions with SELF and worrying less with ohters. Meaning, we will refuse to get sucked in their drama by just CALMING mind, body, spirit to calm our own emotions. To sleep good, to eat right, to avoid accidents of any nature, to find in SELF a perfect MENTAL SPACE to fully EXIST with no need to content anyone else. We tune down into what we share of our drama, and we don´t take the SAVIOUR/VICTIM tempting us into other people´s dramas. We have minimum engaging really wishing them well, but fully understanding we are busy enough dealing with our own HEALING, and we can´t afford getting into more dramas elsewhere. We can stil be in their lives, but more so IN OUR OWN LIVES and healing. Eventually finding what to expose to that helps the healing. Being that family time, dog walks, music, or just EXISTING without having to THINK so MUCH. Tuning down the brain a little to ENJOY the dsimple EXISTANCE. If we have shelter, food, loving people to the extent they are positive to us, and in solitude the time we need to be...we will make the SUFFERING time so much shorter and better than if we give into the NEEDING patterns of really just shows the hurt and propagate. There is something to be said about AMPLIFIED emotions. They will HAPPEN at every DIFFICULT TIMES IN LIFE. Some of us have PILES of losses, and we have that amplified 1000 x. But echoing that out will just bring people that never will leave their issues, and who are we to judge? We are all spiritual beings living a huma experience. Each of us has their own level of choices, the timing they had enough of it and move direction or whatever, and some will give into drinking, sex and other addictions that will NUMB their feelings until they leave this body. We might LOOK for CONFORT in places that aren´t like us at all, people we would never hang out with. But realizing the dangers of vulnerability and that we can walk and choose better folks to walk with is what DETERMINES what we will ACCEPT being EXPOSED. Lets say that drinking will lead to drugs or else, there is no doubt it does not take anywhere useful. Whilst being in support groups is more like that company that feels better influence. Some go to internet dating, or bars and have a promiscuous life in return to some ways of comforting. But who wants to have sexual diseases, sleepless nights, and pregnancy from any drunk out there? I doubt. So there is something to be said about SOLITUDE and finding CONTENT is SELF COMPANY and then being KIND TO SELF to sort out the COMPANY according to OWN IDEA OF GOOD COMPANY TO SELF. If we are being GENTLE and KIND to OUR OWN FEELINGS, there is just peers being good and kind that will feel comfortable near us, but takes a little time to SHIFT and dettach from some peers to other kinds of influence. Sometimes family can be a real CATALYST for worse or better, needing distancin and putting a stop to the coming and going and the craps our ways. Meaning, unless we stop ginving SHIT to OURSELVES, we will be forever VICTIMS of OTHERS. And most I´d like to think are children of God, in fact all, and we DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER than that. Learnig to SLOW DOWN, makes sure we have the GRATITUDE for all the SMAL DEEDS our ways we wouldn´t PERCEIVE if we were trying to make a SPEEDY recovery into the timing clockwise. It´s the clock that is biological that is really the best indicator, and feeling good before any interaction that sets in motion what is ALLOWED and expected to come and STAY around us. In any capacity. FAITH and PRAYERS help, and GRATITUDE is the best. Opens the doors of our existence to more of IT.