It seems like I have not been sleeping well. I am physically exhausted but cannot fall asleep. The nights and the mornings are the worst.
Throughout the day now I breakdown more often in tears but I do recover faster.
I am sad and angry all of the time.
I wish she hadn't died.

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Comment by bluebird on March 29, 2016 at 10:34pm

I think it's not uncommon to have trouble sleeping after the death of a loved one. My husband died 3.5 years ago, and I have not had one good night's sleep since.  I can only sleep at all by taking either Benadryl or a sleeping pill every night. I am tired all the time, exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically.

For me, the mornings are the worst. At night, while of course I do miss him, I can distract myself a bit with tv or the computer, and then the Benadryl or sleeping pill make me fall asleep. During the day, at work or whatever, while of course I miss him, I am doing other things and some part of my brain is dealing with those things, so it's a slight distraction. But when I first wake up in the morning, I am completely vulnerable, and my feelings assail me.

I'm sorry you are in this hell too.  At least on this website, you are not alone.

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