Jason
  • Male
  • Newburgh, NY
  • United States
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What do you do for fun? Or a hobby?
5 Replies

My wife died 4 weeks ago.And while I am not there yet and may not be for some time, or ever, I am curious to know if anyone has found enjoyment in their lives again.Or at least a pleasant way to pass…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Felicia Mar 28, 2016.

I want to punch people who say "I wish I knew her better."
2 Replies

If you gave a crap you would have known her better.You had the opportunity. You just didn't think she was worth your time. Go f**k yourselves.She was my everything and she was worth all of my time.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Mar 26, 2016.

My wife's Memorial Mass was yesterday
2 Replies

It was nice to see so many people turn out. People we hadn't seen in 20 years. People we had written off. And our friends who we didn't realize were such good friends. It was a stressful day and a…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Mar 14, 2016.

Today is my wife's Memorial Mass
3 Replies

I want to speak. To get up there and tell everybody how perfect she was.To share the story of our lives.But not only does this church her mother chose frown on eulogies, I don't know if I can hold it…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Sam Mar 12, 2016.

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Jason's Page

Profile Information

About Me:
44 y.o. widower
Father of twins
About my Loss:
Wife and lover of 26 years, 1 month, from our first dance together to her last.
We were high school sweethearts.
I've never been without her by my side.

Jason's Blog

More tired, more grief

It seems like I have not been sleeping well. I am physically exhausted but cannot fall asleep. The nights and the mornings are the worst.
Throughout the day now I breakdown more often in tears but I do recover faster.
I am sad and angry all of the time.
I wish she hadn't died.

Posted on March 23, 2016 at 7:23am — 1 Comment

The sad and the guilt

The sad and the guilt are hitting me hard last night and today.
I am so sad she is not alive.
I feel guilty that I could not save her.
She was my wife. She was my responsibility.
I should have taken better care of her.

Posted on March 20, 2016 at 7:47am

Listening to music

Hadn't been able to listen to music until tonight.
It didn't destroy me the way I thought it would.
The memories come flooding back but I didn't break down like I thought I would.
Am I in shock?
Am I numb?
Is something wrong with me?
Or is this part of the grief.
My heart feels like it has a chunk missing now. But it no longer feels like there is a knife sticking out of it.

Posted on March 18, 2016 at 12:50am — 2 Comments

Day 20

Well, it happened. After only 20 days both kids are sick. Great. They weren't letting me get any sleep before. Now I'm up half the night with sick kids.

I don't know if I have the stamina. I am so tired.

I am having problems accepting what has happened. I imagine the kids are too.

What a living nightmare.

Posted on March 17, 2016 at 1:26am

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 7:47pm on February 28, 2017, Jason said…
I am still kickin'!
Kids happy and healthy.
1 year has passed since my wife died.
Just this week, I realized I may have accepted it. It happened. I cannot fix it. I have to live. For me. For my kids. I may even be happy one day.
At 12:38pm on April 13, 2016, Mel Royer said…

Jason,

How are you doing? Haven't heard from you for awhile. How about posting an update for everyone.      Mel

 
 
 

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Rachel Slesinski joined Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's group
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Grief Counseling

Diana Young, LD/N, GC-C, ORDMDiana is a Certified Grief Counselor with The American Institute of Health Care Professionals, Inc since 2015. She is also a licensed Dietitian/Nutritionist for 30 years specializing in weight management, diabetes care, the mind diet and healthy eating. Diana created the popular website OnlineGriefSupport.com in 2008 with over 15,000 members.  Currently She facilitates a virtual grief support group weekly. Previously Diana worked for Cornerstone Hospice, providing…See More
Monday
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Profile IconAdele and Melissa Gutierrez joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 16
Lisa Jonasson Meyer commented on Dayna's group Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide
"Hi there. I lost my baby brother to fentanyl (which was laced with myriad of other drugs) on September 28 2023. He'd struggled with opioid addiction since being given a prescription for an opioid in his teens after shattering his nose. Our…"
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Lisa Jonasson Meyer joined Dayna's group
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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
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Jul 11
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"As a card and a medium I should not be mad at God but I am very mad at god the way things have been going on in my life where my sister suffered of cancer and died of cancer by the God do this to a person it was a good person yes whatever arguments…"
Jun 5
dream moon JO B joined HollowHeart's group
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Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Jun 4
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