I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
I'm a pretty big tomboy. I'm a tomboy. As a kid, I loved playing rough and dirty, played a lot of sports and did horseback riding. I was ok with dresses and skirts. I preferred shorts and a t-shirt or jeans and sweats. I loved climbing trees. Loved playing with trucks and trains. Every day I came home with scrapes and bruises from playing rough. My favorite shows were all "boy" shows .i always hanged with my brothers and their friends. I like boys better than girls.
About my Loss:
Two and a half months ago, I lost my friend from middle school to high school, to cancer, rhabdomyosarcoma, it's been hard. this friend was my age and I regarded him as a brother, we had a lot in common. I met him in band class, he played the trumpet ,I played the drums, which meant he was kinda near me .all throughout middle school I would sit at his lunch table ( its based on grade), in 9th grade we had the choice to start marching band (I knew from my older brother ) , he joins , I don’t cus I had a lot going on . in 10th grade I join, I’m in the pit, and he still plays the trumpet (and is really good) .the kids in pit are mean to me, but he supports and helped me when I cried. in 11th grade he doesn’t come to band camp, I wonder why . I find out through my mom he has been diagnosed with it. I feel so bad for him, that Christmas I get a switch, school comes back AND HES BACK , it was just for a few months, not much , I tell him about my switch , his s hair was growing back , it was short and thin ( not the long thick hair he had) , he was in a wheelchair .we have cancer fundraisers ,he’s the subject of all of them . we have this thing called mini thon( like Penn states thon, a huge fundraiser for Four Diamonds) in May. he’s at it, he looks BAD, skinny, pale (for his tan skin) , and bald again I get to talk to him (still trying to) acting the same, chummy and happy). the school year ends. summer passes and he visits band camp but can’t do it. the year passes and we do more things at our school for him . then we graduate, AND HE GRADUATES, we get pictures together. summer and fall pass and in late April(this year) I do thon for my college I make a lantern for him for his fight, and for 3 other people who have cancer and the 2 who survived, the other passed earlier this year and I missed class for it. my college year ends on an ok note. summer passes, I hear through friends he’s doing so sick. Then just this Saturday, he dies in his sleep I find out through my parents. I AM DEVASTATED. This man was somone I considered as a brother, friend , even crush .goddamit cancer is a bitch.
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"Today, I feel it.
It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April.
I am overwhelmed.
I am crushed.
I love you, Mom. I…"
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died.
For some reason, I do not feel crushed today.
But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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