Julie Dolsey-Weiss
  • Female
  • Madison, WI
  • United States
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Traumatic Losses
8 Replies

My beautiful mother died suddenly 8 weeks ago today. I found her sitting up, and knew she was gone. It was very traumatic I can not get her finally image out of my heart! It scares me that someone…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Danny Jan 1, 2014.

 

Julie Dolsey-Weiss's Page

Latest Activity

Courtney Boyke commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Hello, Sorry for your loss. In June my grandmother who was more like my mom than anything also a bestfriend. My family has been staying in her home because the home we were in was just falling apart and my kids were constantly sick from it. Anyways…"
Aug 12
Courtney Boyke joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Aug 12
Jen commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Hi Jennifer, I'm new here, but just wanted to reach out to say I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my partner of 12 years at the end of June. He wasn't sick at all. He got up one morning and within 15 minutes stopped breathing. I had…"
Aug 11
Jennifer commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Theresa thank you. My husband was not sick either really. He had surgery 2 months before. He died of a blood clot that stopped his heart. Technically the doctors call it a heart attack caused by blood clot. He was healing well after surgery, it was…"
Aug 11
Theresa commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Jennifer to add my mom wasn't sick in the hospital, she went in cardiac arrest upon arrival to the hospital and I was on my way I got there immediately after and I have to live with that the rest of my life."
Aug 11
Theresa commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Jennifer, I am in the same situation as you but with my mom, one minute I was talking to her and the next they tell me she is in full cardiac arrest, I remember everything the drs the nurses, the room, the machines, watching them do chest…"
Aug 11
Profile IconShelley Sawhook and Moira Lynch joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Aug 10
Jennifer commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"I lost my husband last month.  One minute I was talking to him and less than 5 minutes later he was dead.  When I found him I knew he was dead but I hoped I or the paramedics or the hospital could bring him back.   The entire day…"
Aug 10
Profile IconJennifer and Jen joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Aug 10
Moira Lynch commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Multiple Losses Group
"Hi group. Reaching out in desperation. Lost my job in June, my brother in July and my best friend just moved out of state a week ago. Call this the summer of sorrows. Also in the past 5 years have lost my mother, my Godmother and Godfather. Was…"
Aug 10
Jennifer L Day joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Jul 5
Belle Merc joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Jun 23
Theresa commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"It just gets "softer" he will always be in your heart. I think about my mom every single day and its been 1 1/2 yrs I call it my new life"
Jun 18
Sadness joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Jun 18
Melissa Malone commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Lost my husband April 30th.  I was supposed to go first as I had 2 hospital stays in less than 2 months. Wade found me unresponsive and I ended up on a ventilator in ICU. Wade has almost never been sick. I find him unresponsive and he basically…"
Jun 18
Melissa Malone joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Jun 13

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a Certified Medical Assistant looking for work, currently working at Shopko for pitiful pay. Times are hard for us all. I am divorced but still good friends with my ex his name is Bryan. No children, unable to have them but i have a beautiful Mn Schnauzer named Jordie and two black pussy cats named Tinker and Bo.
About my Loss:
Two days ago I had a mass funeral for my mom she was 67, one day shy of her birthday. She died at home and I found her and am haunted by those images.

I lost my dad in 2005 to colon cancer and have no other relatives, so I am on my own and scared! Yes I have two very close friends I consider family but now that my parents are gone I feel lost.

Comment Wall (12 comments)

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At 10:48am on July 4, 2011, Sue Waxman said…

Dear Julie,

I am in school for veterinary technology..Mom was so proud of me. I picked up the pieces left after my divorce and went back to school. I am so where you are...Mom died 1 week ago today. I am so empty. I have no father. He left us when I was a kid. Came home and told mother.."Dont love you and these kids..never did", She never was whole again. Damn him!!!!! She was my world, How do we find any reason to "enjoy" anything. I am still in bed. I am and I mean it - totally flying solo at 55 in a very sad world. Friends fill some of the void. But at the end of the day...we have to live in our world today. I feel such peace being connected to you all. I am here for all of you. Sue

At 12:31am on January 31, 2011, michael sandoval said…
Dear Julie , I am truly sorry for your loss, my condolences. I hope we can be friends
At 1:39pm on January 05, 2010, Ruby Smith gave Julie Dolsey-Weiss a gift
Gift
Thanks for being there!
At 7:51pm on November 04, 2009, Julie Dolsey-Weiss added a gift to their profile…
Gift
In Loving Memory of Julia Dolsey, Ozzie Dolsey and Patricia Dolsey
At 8:55am on September 11, 2009, Carrie A Williams said…
Hi Julie-

Just thinking about you this morning and hoping you are doing okay!

Carrie
At 1:23pm on September 4, 2009, Carrie A Williams said…
How irritating and insulting....SHE needs space. Perhaps you are better off without this friend....seems like an awful thing to say considering what you are going through.

Well, I am here for you anytime and I sincerely mean that. I hope that you are VERY proud of yourself and what you are accomplishing in the middle of this awful situation. Congrats on being in your final 8 weeks....that is AWESOME! You may not feel so strong right now but you are and, when the time comes for you to graduate, if you need someone there.....I will be that someone for you and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

Do you still have things that you have to take care of (meaning bills, estate accounts and whatnot)?? This is an area that I am having a lot of trouble with right now. It is so overwhelming. I had to sell my parents house, go to court to get appointed Personal Representative, hire an attorney, open an estate account, sell their cars, cancel insurance etc etc and I have a stack of medical and other miscellaneous bills that I have to take care of. I wonder if life is ever going to feel "normal" again!
At 11:14am on September 3, 2009, Carrie A Williams said…
Hi Julie-

How are you? I hope you are well today. Please do not apologize for repeating yourself..my mind has been so confused that I have trouble keeping track of anything I do or say right now so I completely understand.

I am sorry that this friend chose to walk away from you at this time. It is hard to understand why someone would do this. I really do not have anyone that I feel I can talk to about this. People do NOT understand and I think most of them would rather avoid the topic altogether, as they are uncomfortable and do not know what to say.

Hey, by the way, we are both in Wisconsin. I am in Kenosha.
At 7:01pm on September 2, 2009, Carrie A Williams said…
Hi Julie-
I can not thank you enough for responding. When I read what you had wrote, it was the first time I felt there might be someone out there who understands the fear and loneliness I am consumed by. I am so sorry for what you are also going through. I know the pain and fear. I hope that somehow we can support each other and come out on the other side of this okay. I have a friend who keeps telling me that one day it will be the norm that my parents are gone....I cannot EVEN imagine ever feeling that way.

I have been married for 10 wonderful years and love my husband deeply but this has caused so much strain on us that I even feel alienated from him. We have not even spoke in 2 days even though we are in the same house. I am scared that I will end up alone. My marriage has never been through anything like this and it is taking its' toll. I don't know how to fix it.

My Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in March 2008 that had spread to his bone, spine and brain. He died June 28, 2008. My Mom was already getting ill with Picks Disease but it was still so mild that her symptoms went unnoticed with everything else going on. My father wanted to die in his home and my Mom would not give him medicine or take care of him (not because she did not want to, she could not...she would get hysterical). I figured it was the grief and pain. I had to move in with them and care for my Dad. Then, when he passed, I needed my Mom so and she was not there at all. I could not figure out what was going on.....I thought she was having a nervous breakdown due to losing my Dad. As the weeks were passing by, my Mom was getting really out of touch. Pick's Disease is a rare degenerative brain illness that causes dementia. In February of 2009, she was still living alone and paying her bills and, by March 30, I was moving her into a facility and she was calling me Mom. She lost the ability to talk and walk. I took her to so many doctors and I was told everything from Alzheimers to mental illness. Her doctor even put her in a lock down mental ward for a week....it was HORRIBLE. I was alone with her at the doctor the day I was told that she had Pick's Disease and was going to die. Throughout the whole time I took care of her, I learned to never show emotion because she was like a child and would look to me for reactions to things the doctors were saying. I never cried in front of her and I never grieved my Dad. By May, she was in a wheelchair, had no communication and her arms and legs were completely contracted. My Mom passed on June 3, 2009. This day is my parents wedding anniversary and mine as well. It was less than one year after my Dad died and the first anniversary she would have had without him. My father was 60 when he died and my mother was 62.

I hope to hear from you soon.
Take care and thanks again for reaching out to me.
Carrie
At 1:12pm on September 1, 2009, Laura Villarreal said…
Hey Julie, I am a CMA but currently do not work. After I completed my MA and worked for a couple of years I decided to complete my B.S. in Business. After that I worked as an exec. asst. to two hospital directors. Got really burned out and started working on my teacher's certification...spent the last two years working as a substitute teacher. I feel you can never learn too much...where will you be doing your internship?
At 3:44pm on August 30, 2009, Laura Villarreal said…
June 22 is the day my numbness ended. I remember this day well because I had an appointment with my physician. A little history so you know why I remember this day so well...my daughter died in North Pole, Alaska-I live in San Antonio, Texas. Her accident happened at 12:15 pm and she was declared dead at 12:49 pm. This was on a Monday. I kept everything inside because I had so much to do for her Memorial Service here at home but before this was to take place my niece and I flew to Fairbanks for a private viewing and her cremation. We returned home and planned her service for June 7. We then returned to Fairbanks for her service there on June 13. The week after I returned I was so exhausted. When I went for my doctor's visit on the 22nd I broke down completely and cried like I had never cried before. I was referred immediately to a therapist. I refused medication because I was afraid of not feeling any emotions, good or bad, so I toughed it out. It was a "roller coaster ride from hell" without the meds but I made it through okay. Your emotions will range from numbness, to sadness, to anger and everything in between. I don't tell you this to scare you but to let you know that they are normal during the grieving process. If you can, meet with a therapist. I visited my therapist twice and have not felt the need to return. I found my grief was more pronounced when I was tired. Mornings are usually good but every now and then I wake up feeling sad. If I feel like crying I cry and I usually feel better when I'm done. This is what I mean when I say be kind to yourself-allow yourself to grieve, don't bury it.
Feel free to ask me anything about my grieving experience-I don't mind sharing.
Julie, maybe your mom did not want you to know how serious her condition was, or maybe she did not want to accept it herself, but don't blame yourself.
Try to recall the happier times spent with your mom and embrace the love you have for each other; this will help you during this difficult time.
Your friend,
Laura
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, our moms wanted all kinds of things for us. They wanted us to always eat our vegetables, to never get mixed up with bad influences, etc. Don't beat yourself up because you are grieving. You wouldn't be human if you didn't…"
43 minutes ago
Nancy replied to Richard Rivera's discussion FINALLY LOSING IT
"Richard. I didn't know your wife nor do I know you but I'm quite sure she is mortified watching you self destruct. She would not want you to give up and hurt her by hurting yourself. She is still with you and you need to respect the love…"
1 hour ago
Karen Wilson posted a blog post

Lost my Son -only child in March of this year

Hello -My name is Karen.  I lost my only son at 22 years of age in a car accident in March of this year. I am doing "okay" considering.  I have strong bouts of intense grief on and off and of course I miss and long for him daily. It really just SUCKS! I have surrounded my self with a support group and a Psychotherapist.  I have also started to explore my Spirituality and looking for unanswered to questions to my existence and purpose.  I welcome anyone that would like to share their experience…See More
1 hour ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Really rough morning. I pray for some relief. This is not what my Mom would have wanted for me.  Bluebell"
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's horrible that someone would say, "It's not the end of the world" to you. That is cold. I am so sorry. Your mother in law... again, I am so sorry. You deserve better than that. We all do."
2 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hate to use the word resentment because I have enough on my plate right now. It takes energy to resent people. Negative energy. There is already too much of that in my life. The really hard part is that I got so much unconditional love from my…"
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett yes it can ruin relationships, I wont say who, but I was mentioning that I thought it was odd that a friend did not even call or send me a card when my mom passed, the person I was talking to said "its not the end of the world", this…"
4 hours ago
Jenn updated their profile
5 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Love is an amazing thing. There are times when I think that my mom has all the love that I have to offer, but there is always room for one more person. Even hundreds more.   people. "
13 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My heart is also with each one of you. Hugs and love to you all Bluebell"
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"One of the things that makes me feel very guilty (here) is that I do not want to discourage anyone who is making progress. I don't want to bring them down into the pit with me. I realize that there are people who may have recently come to this…"
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell and Brett we are all different we all grieve in different Ways some people grieve for shorter periods of time some people for longer I remember after my mother passed away I went to church they had a special mass with several priest from…"
14 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am becoming more of a functioning mess. I am able to see patient's now. I sleep a lot better. I try to exercise and socialize on a regular basis. But I have days when the sense of loss and sorrow is so overwhelming, that all I can do is cry…"
15 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Janie, of course you love your mom, and my mom certainly would not want for me to grieve the way that I do. I would not have wanted my mom to grieve my death this way. But I have to be honest about my feelings and my grief. Most of all I have to be…"
17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, I always say we too. It is not just I because he lives in Heaven."
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jackie Cook It's been 4 years since I lost my Husband, it will always be us not me. "
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T. I am surprised that I am still alive after losing my Husband 4 Years ago, I just go day to day hoping one day won't wake up."
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
18 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, Don't feel bad about not standing happy couples and family, It has been 4 years and I still feel that way. I just can't get over losing my kind, wonderful, Husband."
18 hours ago

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