"Britt, I don't know how you've managed to deal with this twice. My heart goes out to you. I find now that I have a new partner, I'm always trying to brace myself against it happening again. I, too, could relate to all her crazy…"
"I read that book a couple years ago. I want to read it again now that I've experienced the loss of my second partner. I remember completely understanding the craziness and irrational behavior she experienced and engaged in. It made total sense…"
Hello, everyone.I'm reading a book now that is popular, and I wonder what other grievers thought about it. It's called "Wave" and is about the true story of a woman who lost her husband, children, and parents all at once in the 2014 Tsunami in Sri Lanka. It's more about her grief experience than the event itself and, even though her loss was very different from mine, I find I can identify with much of what she goes through. It's well written. When my husband died, I wanted everything I could…See More
"Amen to all of that. It is exactly the same for me.
Trevy, I'm sure you mean well, and I'm also sure that your post will be helpful and hopeful to some people who read it, which is good. But it simply doesn't apply to everyone,…"
"Dear Morgan, I so feel you. Grief is not one size fits all. Everyone's story is different and so is the grieving process and recovery or lack of. We all come here to express our feelings without judgement. This is the place where we can find…"
"Vicki, that is heartwarming! Thanks for sharing your experience. I think often, the grievers who are feeling better are afraid to share because it may seem insensitive to those who are not. But when grief was new to me, I was desperate to see an…"
"So perfectly said. I lost my husband 2 yrs ago at age 44. I thought I will never live again. Not only I had to worry about me , but my 2 kids, a new puppy, a new home, and a business we owned. All of which he took care mostly himself ( by choice)…"
This is so hard what you're feeling. You say your bereavement group won't help either, and maybe it won't, but I did find some comfort in being around people who were right in the thick of it. It used to hurt to go out and see…"
I am sorry you're hurting this way. Of course there are no magic words to make it all better. No one will love you exactly the way he did. That's true. But it sounds like you do have some love in your life -- not the kind you…"
I want to hug you so much right now, i feel the very same i was with my partner for almost 18years and we had been through so much in that time. He was my everything, i could tell him things that i never told my family, he knew me…"
"I've been reading the messages to this post and I am upset that it sounds as though I am not trying hard enough and that just by saying "I want to live again" and mean it will somehow be the magic words that stop the pain of…"
How hard it is to lose a spouse -- hard for any of us at any time -- but it's shocking to lose one so young. My heart goes out to you.
Six months is still pretty fresh. For me, the time just dragged on endlessly after my…"
Firstly hugs to you for being so brave, it must not be easy to read all these messages and remembering how your own pain once was xx
I lost my partner suddenly last October just before his 32nd birthday, i miss him terribly but deep down i…"
"Dear Beth I want to share what happened to me. I have been a widow for 19 months. I was so traumatise by my husbands sudden death that I had a nervous breakdown & was hospitalised. I have been in pain ever since. I then enlisted on an 8 week…"
I live on the East Coast of the U.S. with my new husband and four dogs. I'm a writer with a slew of grief-related essays, fiction and an almost-finished book about grief
About my Loss:
My late husband died suddenly in 2012, and I was tossed into the world of grief sooner than I'd ever imagined. I survived that harrowing experience even though I wasn't sure I could, and I've been writing about the process ever since.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I'm a grief writer who hopes to be of service to those now walking the path I've been on.
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Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time. Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference? Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have.
I had no idea there were only a few…"
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices.
Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
welcome, people on here are very supportive. I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end. In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing. Now I…"
It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out.
" As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts. I think you could be a writer or counselor. Thanks everyone else for support also. I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do. I was thinking tonight,…"
This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.
The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.
I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common. I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad. Same here. My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died. All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
"Virginia, mom's are very intuitive. I tired to hide it. It didn't work. Mom could see right through me. She would tell me that everything was going to be okay. I think my mom was more worried about leaving me than she was about dying. That…"
You are right, how can we go from our Moms being our whole lives to nothing? It’s not possible. It doesn’t even make sense. I see other families and I envy them and it makes me sad. I want my family…"
Your posts always make me cry, you write so well and it always hits me in the heart. So you also felt the constant despair inside, but you were able to control and hide it, unlike me. Therein lies my guilt. I was…"