Trevy Thomas
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Trevy Thomas replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Books in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Britt, I don't know how you've managed to deal with this twice. My heart goes out to you. I find now that I have a new partner, I'm always trying to brace myself against it happening again. I, too, could relate to all her crazy…"
May 11
britt bohannan replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Books in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I read that book a couple years ago. I want to read it again now that I've experienced the loss of my second partner. I remember completely understanding the craziness and irrational behavior she experienced and engaged in. It made total sense…"
May 11
Trevy Thomas added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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Books

Hello, everyone.I'm reading a book now that is popular, and I wonder what other grievers thought about it. It's called "Wave" and is about the true story of a woman who lost her husband, children, and parents all at once in the 2014 Tsunami in Sri Lanka. It's more about her grief experience than the event itself and, even though her loss was very different from mine, I find I can identify with much of what she goes through. It's well written. When my husband died, I wanted everything I could…See More
May 11
bluebird replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Amen to all of that. It is exactly the same for me. Trevy, I'm sure you mean well, and I'm also sure that your post will be helpful and hopeful to some people who read it, which is good.  But it simply doesn't apply to everyone,…"
Apr 29
Vicki replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, I so feel you. Grief is not one size fits all. Everyone's story is different and so is the grieving process and recovery or lack of. We all come here to express our feelings without judgement. This is the place where we can find…"
Apr 16
Trevy Thomas replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Vicki, that is heartwarming! Thanks for sharing your experience. I think often, the grievers who are feeling better are afraid to share because it may seem insensitive to those who are not. But when grief was new to me, I was desperate to see an…"
Apr 11
Vicki replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"So perfectly said. I lost my husband 2 yrs ago at age 44. I thought I will never live again. Not only I had to worry about me , but my 2 kids, a new puppy, a new home, and a business we owned. All of which he took care mostly himself ( by choice)…"
Apr 11
Trevy Thomas joined Amy Reed's group
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Losing a spouse and dating again

I lost my spouse 16 months ago. Have gotten into a new relationship but he lets me grieve openly. I have a2 year old daughter. Also I am 26See More
Apr 10
Trevy Thomas replied to joe kelly's discussion In agony in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, This is so hard what you're feeling. You say your bereavement group won't help either, and maybe it won't, but I did find some comfort in being around people who were right in the thick of it. It used to hurt to go out and see…"
Apr 9
Trevy Thomas replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, I am sorry you're hurting this way. Of course there are no magic words to make it all better. No one will love you exactly the way he did. That's true. But it sounds like you do have some love in your life -- not the kind you…"
Apr 9
L.O replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan  I want to hug you so much right now, i feel the very same i was with my partner for almost 18years and we had been through so much in that time. He was my everything, i could tell him things that i never told my family, he knew me…"
Apr 9
morgan replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I've been reading the messages to this post and I am upset that it sounds as though I am not trying hard enough and that just by saying "I want to live again"  and mean it will somehow be the magic words that stop the pain of…"
Apr 9
Trevy Thomas replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Lau, How hard it is to lose a spouse -- hard for any of us at any time -- but it's shocking to lose one so young. My heart goes out to you.  Six months is still pretty fresh. For me, the time just dragged on endlessly after my…"
Apr 8
L.O replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Trevy Firstly hugs to you for being so brave, it must not be easy to read all these messages and remembering how your own pain once was xx I lost my partner suddenly last October just before his 32nd birthday, i miss him terribly but deep down i…"
Apr 8
Beth Swansboro replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes, i would be interested. I was in counseling and worked hard at it but really have not gotten with it where i thought i would. Thank you in advance."
Apr 8
Marjorie Willcox replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Beth I want to share what happened to me. I have been a widow for 19 months. I was so traumatise by my husbands sudden death that I had a nervous breakdown & was hospitalised. I have been in pain ever since. I then enlisted on an 8 week…"
Apr 8

Profile Information

About Me:
I live on the East Coast of the U.S. with my new husband and four dogs. I'm a writer with a slew of grief-related essays, fiction and an almost-finished book about grief
About my Loss:
My late husband died suddenly in 2012, and I was tossed into the world of grief sooner than I'd ever imagined. I survived that harrowing experience even though I wasn't sure I could, and I've been writing about the process ever since.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I'm a grief writer who hopes to be of service to those now walking the path I've been on.

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Groups

Latest Activity

Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, Im sure you were giving your Mom the medicines that you thought were best at the time.  Did you ask the doctor if that one dose would have made a difference?  Sadly, it probably wouldn’t have. I had no idea there were only a few…"
4 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks bluebell. Yes I joined the group so that I can discuss by grief and get some good advices. Virginia, same thing happened with me as well. My mother oncologist was also not telling me complete details amd just use to say that only few days…"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I am very sorry for your loss. I understand the sadness and guilt you are going through right now; all of us do. This is a good place to come and talk and share your feelings. You may not get an answer back right away sometimes, but there has…"
5 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi,   welcome, people on here are very supportive.  I am going through the same guilt as far as what happened in the end.  In the hospital, I didn’t talk to the doctors enough, I don’t know what I was doing.  Now I…"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia It sounds like you are in a very dark place. Before it gets too bad, I beg of you to reach out for help. Call 911 if you have to. Trust that you will feel better than you do now and you have to be alive to find that out. Bluebell"
5 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"  As always, Brett thank you for your caring posts.  I think you could be a writer or counselor.  Thanks everyone else for support also.  I can’t offer any help because I dont know what to do.  I was thinking tonight,…"
5 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Guys This is Avi and I am from India. I lost my mother on 15 may after her 7 months battle with last stage gall bladder cancer.  The grief that I possess now is that although I was closely monitoring her treatment since the first day, I was…"
6 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I feel like a hypocrite when I try to think of something to say to you that would bring you peace. Because I know that I would feel the same way you do if that had happened to me. There was something. Before my mom came home on Hospice, she…"
7 hours ago
Avi joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
7 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett Crystal and Bluebell are so right, I feel comfort and I smile when reading your posts.   I know I was trying to get to her, but I say maybe it was not meant for me to be there when her heart stopped, maybe she wanted that way, but…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I know that you don't want to wait until your old to be with your mom. Neither do I. I told you earlier that after my mom died I considered ending my own life, but I could just see my mom if I had tried, screaming, "NO!!" We…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I wish I hadn't posted so quickly this morning. I had some type'o's. I meant to say that my mom held out her hand before she died. She was holding it upwards. It was an awesome thing to see, though at the time it didn't mean so…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, I read some of your posts, we have a lot in common.  I read you were also close to your Grandma and lost her and then your Mom and aren’t close to your Dad.  Same here.  My Mom was an only child too so my Granny, Mom,…"
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, reading your posts was like going through all my feelings of guilt the first few weeks after my mom died.  All the times I was horrible to her, the times I got frustrated when she wouldn't eat right or when I complained about…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I love reading your posts even though they are for Virginia. They help me to0 Virginia, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you find some peaceful moments. It is okay to find some peace. It does not take away from how much you…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, mom's are very intuitive. I tired to hide it. It didn't work. Mom could see right through me. She would tell me that everything was going to be okay. I think my mom was more worried about leaving me than she was about dying. That…"
yesterday
Profile IconDenise Annunciata, Amy Cote, Avi and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett,   You are right, how can we go from our Moms being our whole lives to nothing?  It’s not possible.  It doesn’t even make sense.  I see other families and I envy them and it makes me sad.  I want my family…"
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett,   Your posts always make me cry, you write so well and it always hits me in the heart.  So you also felt the constant despair inside, but you were able to control and hide it, unlike me.  Therein lies my guilt.  I was…"
yesterday

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