Losing a spouse and dating again

Information

Losing a spouse and dating again

I lost my spouse 16 months ago. Have gotten into a new relationship but he lets me grieve openly. I have a2 year old daughter. Also I am 26

Members: 17
Latest Activity: Aug 13, 2018

Discussion Forum

This group does not have any discussions yet.

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Losing a spouse and dating again to add comments!

Comment by kathleen akin on January 11, 2017 at 3:10pm

For me...I can tell you right now it would depend on what spouse passed away. I'm sure this sounds bad, but if it had been my first spouse it would have been a short grieving period. I will leave it to the imagination as to why that would be

But losing Rocky was a different thing. I'd found him late in life, and I knew we would not have a 50 year wedding anniversary, but it was very hard to let him go. Even knowing he was sick and in pain and wanted to go. So I think it's going to be a while. I think it would be a different time period for everyone and it might be due to reasons we know nothing about.

You are right about those who have not gone through it are the ones who seem to know just exact time frame to expect. Ugh!

Comment by Lynn on June 2, 2015 at 7:51pm

I lost my husband 4yrs ago and there is not a day that goes by that he is not on my mind or in my heart. I started dating an old flame of mine and things seemed to be going great! we have known each other forever so we were already friends. We have hit a really rough patch for the second time and I am afraid that I have lost him too... I know it was hard for me to completely commit my whole heart to him as I still love my husband and I felt guilty at times for being with another man.. I am sure many of you can relate to that. I know he loves me with all his heart and I know that I was looking forward to having a future with him but his actions as of late do not match his words and there are so many complications. I don't know what to do and I feel like I am drowning and I have nothing or no one to help me through any of this.

I'm holding onto life by my fingertips....

Comment by Cathie Mac on March 9, 2015 at 7:48pm

I started dating, and although its weird, its not too difficult. Dating doesn't mean you have to forget your spouse.  A guy I have dated for a little while told me he isn't looking to replace my husband, but would like a place along side him in my heart. I thought that was a good way to look at it, even though I don't think we would make a good marriage, we are friends.

Comment by Lost & Alone on March 9, 2015 at 12:31am

My heart lightens for all of you I guess it is as they say time heals all and marches on... I just hope one day my heart will move on, sounds like you are all in a better place than me...

God Bless You

Good luck to you ... I hope you find the equilivent to what you had or as close as you can get.

Comment by Karen T. on March 1, 2015 at 9:15pm

Sashelle-

Thank you. Yeah I know that I will never get over my husband and he will always have his own special place in my heart. But everyone talks about how they understand how I will eventually start dating again and that's no big deal (my mother-in-law said this to me just 1 month after it happened and the way she said it it same out more like go start dating now and that's ok lol). My husband at a few points (he had an illness but got over ir unexpectadly so only had to be God's help) told me that since we were expecting him to pass first that he wants me not to have any down time in finding my next first date. So basically I know he has a huge chunk of my heart but I do expect that at some point in my future (maybe soon maybe far) there will be some room for another.

Comment by Sashelle on February 28, 2015 at 9:28pm
I don't know if there is a right time per se! I lost my husband in 03 and I can get choked up looking at pictures or feeling sorry for myself when my girlfriends are vacationing with their spouses or what not. I only say that to reaffirm that I have NEVER gotten over losing Chris! I don't know if I want to. I love being his Mrs. to this day.

But a year exactly after he passed, I met a guy at a cookout. My God-Daughter asked me if he was my type. I took a closer look and thought...not bad! He was definitely checking me out and it felt good to have someone look at me without having that "poor little widow" look. Here there was a nice looking man looking at me who had no idea that he should be feeling sorry for me! Well, this guy cracked me up from the first date! I honestly hadn't laughed in over a year and it felt amazing. That's when I knew it was okay to date again.
Comment by Karen T. on February 28, 2015 at 8:07pm

I know everyone says that you will know when the right time comes to start dating again, but I just feel conflicted. My heart is definately with my husband as I know it always will be, I cry sometimes very heavily just speaking or thinking about him- even just 2 days ago someone made a comment about how I had spoken about my husband and they could tell how much we were one and I just broke out in sobs. But then today as I am shopping I notice a few good looking guys around and then there was one that definately looked back at me twice and we both smiled the last time. So I mean really how do you know? Does time actually really matter? What feeling(s) am I looking for that could help me decide how and when to move on?

Comment by Lost & Alone on January 24, 2015 at 2:45am

I was wondering how things are going as well, I do not know if I am going to be ready to date yet... I still have a lot of questions for the universe and I do not know if I am strong enough to move on yet.. I was just wondering if you could tell me what led you to dating again? If that is not to personal

God Bless

Comment by Cathie Mac on April 25, 2014 at 9:48pm

I see that this post is almost a year old....how are things going?  I am trying to get back into the dating.

 

Members (16)

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
23 hours ago
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I started to compose a blow by blow sequence of events of my loves illness and passing but it became too painful and couldn't continue.  Here we share how we are feeling grieving our lost Loves.  In reality, most of my underlying…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"M Adams, I totally understand; I detest being around happy families, and especially happy couples. It's not that I want anything bad to happen to them, I definitely do not. It's just that they have what my beloved and I should still have,…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"usually I find your comments really clear, Linda, so I don’t think it’s not being good with words, more that it’s hard to express these things in words.  Actually I couldn’t follow what Joe said either, but it’s…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
yesterday
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Speaking for myself, I identify with Linda.  My Love left our world and I know it, and accept that she crossed over into another realm of existence and can't come back.  I want her back and I live in HELL every day without her. …"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, not sure what you mean here when you say you can accept the loss of your husband but not being able to change it is your whole problem — do you mean not being able to change the fact of the loss, or not being able to change the way it…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Friday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Haven't been writing recently as have had so much to organize in my life I just haven't had a moment and when I do I am so tired.  So grateful to everyone else who continues to write though.  I look here daily to read.…"
Friday
mindy posted a status
"Hello everyone I'm doing ok I went back to work and just had my meeting there today they said I'm doing an awesome job"
Thursday
mindy and Brenda Ann are now friends
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"They told me that Mom had a heart attack.  It happened on the weekend.  I had made her breakfast & she seemed fine.  I am thankful she was at home & that I was with her, but it hurts so much knowing she is gone.  I just…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks so much!  It helps having others that understand.  Some of my family is supportive & that helps.  It helps just having someone listen that truly understands.  I have one sibling, but he was never as close to my…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you. Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will…"
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you, some days are better than others.  I feel so for you.  My Mom was the center of my world also.  I lived with her & took care of her.  I am so thankful that I could be there for her, but now I miss her so…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important…"
Thursday
Patrick E Woodson posted a status
"Hello everyone. I lost my best friend two weeks ago. I'm constantly crying feeling like I can't go on."
Thursday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I never cried much before, but I do now.  I think crying does help.  I had a trigger this morning & have been crying since.  It has been over three months, but I still feel numb.  "
Thursday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service