Losing a spouse and dating again


Losing a spouse and dating again

I lost my spouse 16 months ago. Have gotten into a new relationship but he lets me grieve openly. I have a2 year old daughter. Also I am 26

Members: 14
Latest Activity: Oct 9, 2017

Discussion Forum

This group does not have any discussions yet.

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Losing a spouse and dating again to add comments!

Comment by kathleen akin on January 11, 2017 at 3:10pm

For me...I can tell you right now it would depend on what spouse passed away. I'm sure this sounds bad, but if it had been my first spouse it would have been a short grieving period. I will leave it to the imagination as to why that would be

But losing Rocky was a different thing. I'd found him late in life, and I knew we would not have a 50 year wedding anniversary, but it was very hard to let him go. Even knowing he was sick and in pain and wanted to go. So I think it's going to be a while. I think it would be a different time period for everyone and it might be due to reasons we know nothing about.

You are right about those who have not gone through it are the ones who seem to know just exact time frame to expect. Ugh!

Comment by Lynn on June 2, 2015 at 7:51pm

I lost my husband 4yrs ago and there is not a day that goes by that he is not on my mind or in my heart. I started dating an old flame of mine and things seemed to be going great! we have known each other forever so we were already friends. We have hit a really rough patch for the second time and I am afraid that I have lost him too... I know it was hard for me to completely commit my whole heart to him as I still love my husband and I felt guilty at times for being with another man.. I am sure many of you can relate to that. I know he loves me with all his heart and I know that I was looking forward to having a future with him but his actions as of late do not match his words and there are so many complications. I don't know what to do and I feel like I am drowning and I have nothing or no one to help me through any of this.

I'm holding onto life by my fingertips....

Comment by Cathie Mac on March 9, 2015 at 7:48pm

I started dating, and although its weird, its not too difficult. Dating doesn't mean you have to forget your spouse.  A guy I have dated for a little while told me he isn't looking to replace my husband, but would like a place along side him in my heart. I thought that was a good way to look at it, even though I don't think we would make a good marriage, we are friends.

Comment by Lost & Alone on March 9, 2015 at 12:31am

My heart lightens for all of you I guess it is as they say time heals all and marches on... I just hope one day my heart will move on, sounds like you are all in a better place than me...

God Bless You

Good luck to you ... I hope you find the equilivent to what you had or as close as you can get.

Comment by Karen T. on March 1, 2015 at 9:15pm


Thank you. Yeah I know that I will never get over my husband and he will always have his own special place in my heart. But everyone talks about how they understand how I will eventually start dating again and that's no big deal (my mother-in-law said this to me just 1 month after it happened and the way she said it it same out more like go start dating now and that's ok lol). My husband at a few points (he had an illness but got over ir unexpectadly so only had to be God's help) told me that since we were expecting him to pass first that he wants me not to have any down time in finding my next first date. So basically I know he has a huge chunk of my heart but I do expect that at some point in my future (maybe soon maybe far) there will be some room for another.

Comment by Sashelle on February 28, 2015 at 9:28pm
I don't know if there is a right time per se! I lost my husband in 03 and I can get choked up looking at pictures or feeling sorry for myself when my girlfriends are vacationing with their spouses or what not. I only say that to reaffirm that I have NEVER gotten over losing Chris! I don't know if I want to. I love being his Mrs. to this day.

But a year exactly after he passed, I met a guy at a cookout. My God-Daughter asked me if he was my type. I took a closer look and thought...not bad! He was definitely checking me out and it felt good to have someone look at me without having that "poor little widow" look. Here there was a nice looking man looking at me who had no idea that he should be feeling sorry for me! Well, this guy cracked me up from the first date! I honestly hadn't laughed in over a year and it felt amazing. That's when I knew it was okay to date again.
Comment by Karen T. on February 28, 2015 at 8:07pm

I know everyone says that you will know when the right time comes to start dating again, but I just feel conflicted. My heart is definately with my husband as I know it always will be, I cry sometimes very heavily just speaking or thinking about him- even just 2 days ago someone made a comment about how I had spoken about my husband and they could tell how much we were one and I just broke out in sobs. But then today as I am shopping I notice a few good looking guys around and then there was one that definately looked back at me twice and we both smiled the last time. So I mean really how do you know? Does time actually really matter? What feeling(s) am I looking for that could help me decide how and when to move on?

Comment by Lost & Alone on January 24, 2015 at 2:45am

I was wondering how things are going as well, I do not know if I am going to be ready to date yet... I still have a lot of questions for the universe and I do not know if I am strong enough to move on yet.. I was just wondering if you could tell me what led you to dating again? If that is not to personal

God Bless

Comment by Cathie Mac on April 25, 2014 at 9:48pm

I see that this post is almost a year old....how are things going?  I am trying to get back into the dating.


Members (14)


Latest Activity

Sharon Stolp replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Maxie, Sharon here. I wasn't blessed with 55 years with my love, we had 46 years together, married at 18 years old. It is 2 years out for me and I miss him so much. I am still going through the days of not getting dressed, not going…"
6 hours ago
Libbie H posted a status
"What are you up to?"
13 hours ago
Libbie H posted a status
"My Life stopped the day JESUS took you home. I've tried to find joy. Happy 35th anniversary honey! Third one without you. Heartbroken!"
14 hours ago
Billy Jo Colt commented on Ginger's blog post Can't let go
"Hi Ginger, your loss is so natural. Why should you let go? Don't let go. Keep your memories forever of her. You will never forget her no matter what happens. You are embarking on a journey of many emotions. Most come to terms with their loss.…"
17 hours ago
Maxey replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks, Joe.  I appreciate you describing your experience during your accident.  It gives me hope that there really is something after this life.  My greatest hope which keeps me going and half way sane is that we will be joined again…"
17 hours ago
Alice Thompson replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, Thanks for your honesty, and I feel the same. Personally, I hate it when people say it is our choice, to look forwards or back, etc, partly because that sounds like they are blaming the bereaved for feeling sad and missing their loves, and…"
18 hours ago
Marjorie Willcox replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Maxey, How I feel for you and can empathise so much.I ask myself that question How can we have been loved & cherished all those years and then be expected to move on within our lives. I too read inspirational stuff & have a psychiatric…"
19 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, You don't need to shape up Maxey, because I know I never will."
19 hours ago
Ginger commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Today is 1 month and 1 day that my daughter passed away from cancer and I miss her every day, so much so that I won't put her picture away because I don't want to forget her."
20 hours ago
JessesMom updated their profile
20 hours ago
joe kelly replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Maxie, Word for word I could have written what you did.  I've have the very same thoughts, all of them that you have.  I feel the same way.  I wish I could give you some positive outlook but I can't.  My wife died…"
20 hours ago
Marjorie Willcox and Maria panettieri are now friends
21 hours ago
Maria panettieri commented on Marjorie Willcox's blog post Loss of my husband
"I know your pain , my husband and I were like Siamese twins, we were on a holiday in Italy when I woke up to find him dead beside me. My whole world has fallen down , he was and still is the live of my life. I guess this is the ultimate price one…"
21 hours ago
Maxey added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...

Has Not Happened

Hi, everyone,I have been going to a grief group since I felt I needed some direction to "get a life".The leader is a great guy and has some wisdom that for the moment I consider.  He told us that it is our choice of how we spend the rest of our lives without our loves.  We can either look forward or backward.  Well, it all sounds good until I get home to an empty house, an empty life, no friends I really like, a family who thinks I am doing "better", and a husband who is gone.  All the things…See More
22 hours ago
Maxey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi,  i have'nt been around for a while.  I had the ridiculous notion that over time I would get better, but that has not happened.  I think, if anything, I am getting a bit "insane" thinking of how meaningless my life…"
22 hours ago
joe kelly replied to joe kelly's discussion In agony in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you for sharing Sharon and sorry you lost you're true love, best friend and lover.  What I'm finding out is that everyone wants to fix me somehow, just like when you went for therapy.  From what I read and hear is that we…"
Profile IconDonna Decker, JessesMom, Kare scarpine and 9 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Linda Engberg replied to joe kelly's discussion In agony in the group Lost My Spouse...
"To all my friends, all we can do is try to put one foot in front of the other, when we wake up to another day. "
Sharon Stolp replied to joe kelly's discussion In agony in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Joe. I am so teribly sorry for the loss of your beloved. My dear husband died 2 years ago. Unlike your wife he would never go to the doctor, just worked 6/7 days a week waiting for the day he could retire. He died 2 weeks before his 64th…"
Debbie Lynn Hallstrom joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group

Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More

© 2018   Created by Jarvis.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service