Michael
  • Male
  • Woburn, MA
  • United States
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Michael's Page

Latest Activity

Connie Steidl left a comment for Michael
"You sound very much in the same spot I am in.  I lost my husband Oct 15, 2016 and I am just trying to make it to this coming Oct for a short cruise to Catalina and Mexico with my family.  After that, I am hoping I will have some relief…"
May 21
Michael replied to Kevin Bailey's discussion Guilt in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Don't go down the guilt road."
Mar 5
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, I have a similar memory that keeps replaying in my mind. Every day, many times a day. I think we have PTSD."
Feb 23
Michael replied to Krystle's discussion February 2nd 2017... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"So sorry about this. We all feel your pain. We've been there."
Feb 21
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wish you could have a happy birthday. I hope one day you will again."
Feb 18
Michael replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE DIED DECEMBER 2ND in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Richard, do you have a paypal account?"
Feb 16
Michael replied to Michelle Lynch's discussion Lost my husband.. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Its been four months for me too. I was an aspiring musician. I took it up late in life. I ve barely been able to pick up my guitar. People encourage me to do so, and the few times i have, i've forgotten so much and i dpn't have the…"
Feb 16
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, Glad to hear of your experience. Im so alone i think daily of ending it all (no plan.) i think people who care for me near me might prevent that. I also fear that this incrdible stress will activate a small cancer and kill me. Id be ok with…"
Jan 26
Michael commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've been trying to go through the grief not "around" it as recommended. It sucks. Tonight i had 2 wines at dinner; im feeling almost human. A couple xanax and some pot and i'll be all set for the night."
Jan 25
Carl accomando left a comment for Michael
"Hi Michael I'll be in Roanoke tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday if you want t to get a beer or something. Let me know.Carl"
Jan 23
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"So im trying to clear out my place in anticipation of moving. There is 20 years of stuff, hundreds and hundreds of books, paper etc. i need to get rid of at least75 percent of it. Ive worked all day for several days, plus had done a little over a…"
Jan 18
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Kathleen. This is just so very awful. Its hell. The definition of hell. Ive been cleaning out my place in anticipation of moving and after throwing out 12 bags of papers, three boxes of books (to book drop) ive maybe made a 20 percent dent…"
Jan 17
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathleen I am also on an antidepressant but am still depressed. And i dont sleep. I am retired so i have little to do but think about my precious wife Roxanne. I am thinking about living with her son and his family - like a child, though id have my…"
Jan 17
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"John In the final analysis, do you think moving to be near family was better than staying alone? I have been facing the same choice. I hate being totally alone 90 percent of the time. As I am retired, i sit in my home alone most days thinking up…"
Jan 17
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"In anticipation of possibly moving I have been trying to clear my place of clutter. Today i attacked my office. Sfter several hours ive barely made a dent, throwing out stacks of papers, magazines, various crap that had piled up iver 20 years. The…"
Jan 16
Michael replied to Angela's discussion Does it help to move? in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Im not sure but i havent set foot in our place since my wife died three months ago - she died in the house in my arms - and im selling the place and buying another place nearby with her son and his family. Im sure the grief is not going to lessen…"
Jan 15

Profile Information

About Me:
Am a semi-retired writer. Was married to Roxanne 26 years. I like golf and music when not grieving.
About my Loss:
My wife died Oct 9, of this year (2016)

Comment Wall (35 comments)

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At 10:15pm on May 21, 2017, Connie Steidl said…

You sound very much in the same spot I am in.  I lost my husband Oct 15, 2016 and I am just trying to make it to this coming Oct for a short cruise to Catalina and Mexico with my family.  After that, I am hoping I will have some relief from the loneliness and overwhelming sadness I am feeling now because I don't think I can live like this for very long.  My son, my only child just went through a divorce and I have no support from him and I was a child who was passed off to different relatives because my mother was an alcoholic so I have no close family except for my cousins I lived with from age 13 until I got married.  The only happiness I had in life was with my husband of 50 years and now he is gone.

 

At 11:50am on February 1, 2017, John T. said…

I'm glad you are getting some help.  If you have the resources, take advantage of it.  Therapy and medication on the basis you describe is a real opportunity to get back on your feet.  There's no cure for what we're going through but at least we can try to learn to cope the best we can.  Let us know how it goes.

At 11:39pm on January 31, 2017, AnneJ said…

Hi, Michael. I think it's fantastic if you go for a two-week "tune up", as my husband would call it. :-) Little would he  know that this is really what happens when the one and only in the whole world we love the most is stolen in front of our eyes. I would have given anything to go for a two-week help setting in the first months of this devastation but I didn't even know it was available. Well, I probably knew it was available somewhere but I had zero human beings in my life who actually gave a sh** about my close-to-breakdown, and fewer than zero who could guide me. Go. If you want, of course. But I think you are a lucky guy to have the chance, and I wish for you the very, very best. I look forward to listening to you on this site and how you are doing. It's so good to see John T. here, too. All of us here, we are but sojourners. Bless us for what we're suffering through. Love from AnneJ.

At 5:48pm on January 31, 2017, Carl accomando said…
That's to bad I would like to have met you we both share a devastating loss only someone who is going through it understands .so you no longer live in Virginia?
At 4:53pm on January 31, 2017, Carl accomando said…
Hi Michael, Carl here I'm coming to Roanoke Wed, if you want to talk I'd like that and it might be good for both of us we are both grieving for our wives I know it's helpful to talk to someone in the same situation .please let me know it may help
At 9:43pm on January 30, 2017, Kevin Bailey said…

Hey Michael, as much as I try to hide my pain I just can't. It gets to the point at times where it feels like I'm gonna have a breakdown because I can't handle it. It truly helps to talk with other people who truly understand this pain. take care my friend.

At 8:37pm on January 25, 2017, John T. said…

A psychiatrist had me on so much Xanax the first 4 months that I wasn't even counting how many.  I think that's how managed to take care of what I had to and load up and move.  For over a year, I didn't drink at all.  I finally got off Xanax a year ago in January and started drinking too much beer.  I have lost 30 pounds, gained 40, and lost 30 over the past 18 months.  I'm healthy and feel I'm throwing that away by being so inactive.  It's not by choice.  This has been a rollercoaster ride through hell and I'm trapped most of the time.

At 4:30pm on January 23, 2017, Carl accomando said…
Hi Michael I'll be in Roanoke tuesday,Wednesday, Thursday if you want t to get a beer or something. Let me know.Carl
At 10:40am on January 14, 2017, Carl accomando said…
Hi Michael we talked here several weeks ago my wife passed I'm November I'm visiting here in Roanoke this weekend with my kids,wondering if you wanted to get together .Leg me know it might be a good thing. CARL ACCOMANDO
At 10:25am on January 14, 2017, Carl accomando said…
I'm here in roanoke wondering if you want to get together let me know .carl
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hope everybody has a loving good weekend and let's celebrate our Mom's for giving us life. I love you Mama!!"
2 hours ago
Linda Engberg replied to Jennifer's discussion They don't understand. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, It has been 4 years since I lost my Husband and soulmate to cancer. My family and friends tell me that time will things better. To tell you the truth the only way I keep my sanity, is adopting a dog and seeing my therapist and…"
8 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to Jennifer's discussion They don't understand. in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, my husband passed May 2, 2017.  We had a wonderful marriage and we loved each other with all of our hearts.  Jack was an awesome person.  I am currently going through this with my own family.  I am away from my family…"
10 hours ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello, well I made it through my 1st anniversary without him.  It was a really hard day, Wednesday.  I miss him like crazy and love him so much. Today I just feel numb.  All these stages of grief are exhausting.  Working full…"
15 hours ago
Mike H. posted a blog post

Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?

Is It Wrong to Grieve?Have you ever had a brief bout with illness? Perhaps you recovered so quickly that you have practically forgotten the episode. Well, grief is not like that. “There is no such thing as ‘getting over’ grief,” writes Dr. Alan Wolfelt in his book Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart. However, he adds: “Over time and with the support of others, your grief will soften.”As an example, consider how the patriarch Abraham reacted when his wife died. The Bible says that “Abraham began…See More
17 hours ago
Angela commented on Angela's blog post I lost My Mom
"I think because my daughter is giving me my first grand child it has blocked out some of the hurt I feel. Even though I am not crying I do think about my mom all the time, everyday"
yesterday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, I remember when the anger started burning inside me too. It was horrible and ugly and scary, and immensely powerful. I felt afraid to open my mouth in front of others in case I screamed and yelled and told them what I thought of them and…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom loved Judge Judy. You couldn't convince her that was not a real courtroom. She also loved The Shark Tank and Everybody Loves Raymond. It all seems like just yesterday since we watched those shows together. I love those shows, too, but it…"
yesterday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello AnneJ and everyone,  In a couple of weeks it will be 3 years since I lost all that mattered to me.  Six months ago I started unpacking and hung some pictures where I live now.  I did it out of embarrassment rather than a desire…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
":)"
yesterday
Jennifer added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
Thumbnail

They don't understand.

How do you deal with well meaning family/friends who just don't understand what you're going through? 2 of my sisters-in-law still have their husbands.  One does not have a good marriage, she talks about her husband dying flippantly she says things like "I know if _____ died I would use the insurance money to go on that vacation he never wants to go on."  Then in the next breath "Are you still going on your cruise next year?  I could take (my husband's) place if you want so you're not alone."…See More
yesterday
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Today was a good day! I love you and thank you so very much Mama! I think of you everyday while cleaning up your home and getting it ready for sale. It is still hard for me to go there and not seeing you watching Dr.Phil and judge Judy! I have not…"
yesterday
Beth Swansboro posted a status
"I am just learning this new place to talk. Not real sure how it works. I will stop in again. Thinking alot tonite of my husband. Sad."
yesterday
Beth Swansboro posted a status
"I get sad when I see family together. My son who is an only child I feel pain for. He lost the person he loved so much and talked to alot."
yesterday
Beth Swansboro posted a status
"Been reading the articles past few days. Lost my husband Nov. 2015. Not a day goes by I wish he were here. I will like being able to be here"
yesterday
Jennifer commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Apparently, I have found the anger that my counselor and everyone else has been saying I was going to feel.  To this point, all I have felt is sad or numb.  Well, the last 2 days I have not been able to stand to see happy families.…"
yesterday
Diane commented on Angela's blog post I lost My Mom
"My mom had renal failure , she passed away December 2015. I still miss her everyday of my breathing, during this time I had broken my right wrist on a Friday Dec. 11 2015 my mom died on the 17. The pain was in so many directions, leaving the…"
yesterday
Diane posted a status
"It's been 2 years since my mom died, I still miss her , it will be 3 years really in December. I miss u mom. Love you so much,"
yesterday
Abigail Noell and Brenda Ann are now friends
yesterday
AnneJ commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi, Linda. I feel the same way as you. I feel like you could walk right into my home, sit down, and we wouldn't have to say a word and be completely understood by one another. It's been 3 years and 10 months since my Beloved man died, the…"
yesterday

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