Lori C,

It was too late last night when I read your recent inclusion in the people who have lost loved ones and I have tried lately to at least post something to newer grievers.  

I am so sorry to hear you have lost your partner, your best friend, your lover.  I too lost my husband three years ago on January 21st (soon to be another marker day) and if there is anything I can say to you is that devastation comes with the territory.  I don't want to dig you any deeper but this is a long road and right now you are in the very earliest of stages of the hardest thing you will ever have to do.  

Everyone one of us hear have had different circumstances and we are all at different points in remediating the effects of what losing our beloved has done to us but you will get the most of what you will need here amongst people who have started and are walking down the same path as you.  

Just a small bit of advice.  Take baby steps.  Don't expect too much of yourself or expect too many others to understand your pain.  If they have not lost a loved one it is almost impossible for them to relate.  You are going to go through a million different feelings and none of them are going to be great.  Try to come here and read as that way you will know you are not crazy for how you are feeling.  But how you manage each day, in fact, each minute, will be determined by what rises to the top of your own personal pile.  Try not to take on anything extra.  It will take all your energy just to get out of bed.  Do the best you can with your teens.  I didn't have children so I can't know how that will work but you and they will be experiencing some real raw emotion for many months ahead.  Just baby steps.  One day at a time.   If that is too much one hour at a time.   I cant stress that enough.  

I think we all wish that we could all be there every moment of our pain for each other since we all know how this disrupts and devastates each one of us but the best we can d3o is be here for each other.  

Try to eat small meals when you can and yes, you will cry.  Like you never have before.  Your body is in total shock and it is going to be a bit before you will see anything other than fog.  Just know that is part of this. Part of grieving.  

I could write endless pages but again, know we are all here for each other. Take care.  Come here when you need to.  You may not get an answer each and every time you post but it is good to get it out.  I think most of us find writing here very cathartic as we know it is being received with grace.

Stay warm and let us help you walk this path.

morgan