Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by anna l. on June 12, 2012 at 9:02pm

Robin Im so sorry for your loss.  It isnt always healthy to bottle up your grief to take care of those around you.  It was your mom and you deserve to mourn all that you lost with her passing.  Be gentle with yourself and try share your true feelings here, with your husband, and even your children.  You are their best teacher in how to deal with such a huge loss.  If they only see you with a smile they might have a harder time accepting their own feelings of sadness.  Thats my thoughts on it anyway, for what its worth.

Permalink Reply by Robin Preston-Richeson on June 14, 2012 at 6:34am

Thanks, Anna. I do my fair share of mourning and my kids see me cry over my Mom a lot. Often I will be in the van and a song will trigger a good memory and the crying begins.

Permalink Reply by Elizabeth Ann Collins on June 13, 2012 at 6:15am

So sorry for your loss Robin.  I too am 53 and my husband of 3 years was shot and killed on Dec. 9th and my father passed away in hospital 2 weeks later.  I am suffering PTSD, having witnessed my husband's murder and it is family that help each other deal with these tragedies.  As my sister told me "all of our lives have been changed forever".  Stay strong and keep your family and God close.

 

Permalink Reply by Robin Preston-Richeson on June 14, 2012 at 6:36am

I'm so sorry for loss, too, Elizabeth. And I agree with - we're all trying to deal with our sudden loss, too, and we're having to learn how to deal with this change.

Permalink Reply by Debra Waszut on June 13, 2012 at 7:50am

I am 53 also and I lost my beloved husband of 33 years 3 weeks ago to a sudden massive heart attack.  He was the most wonderful husband and father anyone could have asked for and I loved him so intensly that It felt like someone took a sledgehammer to me.  I have found comfort in my sons who have come together ina way I have not seen before. This would make him so happy.  I have found a church and several good daily devotional books that I am reading.  This site helps.  Tonight I am going to my first grief session with a group at a local church.  Get into everything you have access to.  And also, please get your own heart checked out.  I am going to make sure this happens with my sons and my husbands brothers.  His Dad died the same way.  It will get easier I promise. But love never dies.  I carry my husband in my heart. I can feel him inside of me.  God is taking care of this I know. I hope you find peace soon and I am sorry for your loss.

Permalink Reply by Robin Preston-Richeson on June 14, 2012 at 6:40am

I'm so sorry, Debra. My siblings and I are orphans now - considering we have nothing to do with our fathers. Our Mom had a hard life and she worked so hard to give us a good one. My family and I have been blessed with a huge family and we've gotten so much love and support from everyone...it's amazing.

I also have found a grief support group at a church close to us. Mom was glad that my husband and I began to take the kids to church. I will begin going to the meetings next week. I'm nervous but I look forward to making new friends.

Permalink Reply by Jim Eginoire on June 13, 2012 at 3:40pm

Dear Robin,

I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I know the deep pain from losing a parent, or in my case parents.  My dad died when he was 72 and my mom when she was 61.  I still grieve for them. 

But I lost my wife at age 52 on Sept 26, 2010 from an accidental prescription OD.  She didn't take too much, the drugs the Dr prescribed all peaked at the same time killing her instantly, probably with in seconds of me shutting our daughter's bedroom door where she was watching TV.  Today would have been our 25th wedding anniversary.

It is the second one to pass since she has been gone but it hurts more this year than last year.   I miss her so much it is the worst thing to go through.  We have 2 children, a son from her first marriage who just turned 32 and a daughter who had just turned 21 when she found her mother dead in her bed.

I'm fighting tears as I write this, but that is what this site is for.  I'm sorry for everyone here as we have all experienced the worst thing that can happen in life.

I am a born again Christian, as was my wife, but that does not replace the person even though I know 100% she would never come back if she could.  Going on two years now I am selfish and still wish she could come back.

Permalink Reply by Robin Preston-Richeson on June 14, 2012 at 6:47am

My heart hurts for you, Jim, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My Mom was able to see my husband and I take our kids to church before she passed. Mom wasn't a church going person, but she had God in her heart.

Losing Mom was a huge shock for us. She struggled to make a living, but she always had something to smile about. She would never let anything get her down. I'm 33 years old and I often wish she was still around so I could love on her.

Take care of yourself. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.