"i miss mom so mush i do"
Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
why do bad things happend to the good people?
I just cant seem to understand this. My father was a good man, and caring one, who did not harm anyone. My husband too, he was the nicest, loving and most carismatic man i have ever known. They both were good people and did not do any bad things. I believe that I have done good throughout my life and helped others who have needed me. However; i find myself at this point in my life, where i am trying to take it day by day, get up of bed every morning to go to work, care for my son, pretend i am doing ok for my mother not to worry about me, deal with financial stress as much as i can. And then grieving the loss of my husband, trying to keep up with this pain in my heart. Its just not getting better!
I was trying to get this new job to better provide for my son and which was closer in distance to home but what happens?, after days of preparation for the interview and testing, i get an email yesterday that 'they cannot offer me a job at this time". I wanted to reply and just vent out on the HR people, are you kidding me? i was meant for that job, i have the education, experience, and most of all, i need it more than anyone.... I went through a panic/anxiety/crying spree. Not just because of the job issue but I felt as if all took over me, and everything seemed to just pile up on my back. I wanted my husband there with me to just hug me and tell me that everything will be ok as he would always say to me. I just feel that i continue to hit dead ends, doors shutting close on my face. I feel as if no one around me (including my husband's family) seems to acknowledge what I am facing now as a "widow" and all that comes along with that. I am just trying to do good despite all the bad things that have happened to me but dont seem to receive any good things coming my way? Why?
Views: 150
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Stacy Jinkins on
-
There is no real answer anyone can give you to that question. I too have asked that too many times lately. My father passed in August from Leukemia, and I lost my job for taking too much time off to care for him his last weeks. Then my husband was laid off 2 weeks ago from his job of 6 years. We have 3 small children, and it seems like no matter what we do we can't get ahead. We've never hurt anyone, or done any wrong, and we still have to fight so hard just to survive.
Life is very hard, and although I am very upset, angry and sad that good people have to go through things like this, it is the good people that are strong enough and smart enough to get through the rough stuff.
I am so sorry for your losses. Just remember that there are other good people just like you trying to hang in there as well. I wish you the best.
-
Permalink Reply by Brenda Ann on
-
I know what you mean and am sorry for the suffering that plagues you. I have seen many comments that we shouldn't ask the question why. It has been said that asking why, will kill us. Children ask millions of questions and it is how they learn - as adults we need to ask questions in order to find our way, and to learn of dangers that we need to avoid. Therefore, I have really thought about your question and I have found some answers in the Bible. Do you believe in God and the Bible? Is it ok for me to share what I have found? If so please let me know...
It also seems as though you had a wonderful "one flesh" relationship with your husband, you completed each other. The reason most people don't understand is because they have never had that kind of relationship. Most marriages are between two separate people that live together but never have a "one flesh" bond. I was just thinking... I know you are suffering your losses but would it help to close your eyes and listen to your heart - what would your husband have said or felt about the situation that is causing you a problem. What I am thinking is that you would kind of handle problems as a unit. You know his feelings and values, so you look forward as he would have wanted you to. It is not possible to have his literal strength but you have the inner strength your relationship gave you. Your relationship was special and so are you.
Your friend,
Brenda
mawmaw1591@gmail.com
-
Permalink Reply by Amanda Ab on
-
Brenda, thanks so much for your kind and warm thoughts. I just find myself, not knowing how to live in this chapter of my life. I will send you a message shortly. Look forward to your reply.
Thank you.
-
Permalink Reply by Michelle W on
-
Amanda, I understand what you ate saying.. My husband and I finnally had a good enough credit score to purchase a house for our family in June 5 bedrooms a fixer upper but a home for the future.. In the end of August I lost my job of nine years ,,, on two days before thanks giving my 18 year old desired to move in her own places. As the final plebe of furniture was moved on that Saturday night we received the call our son was in an accident on his way home from the state champion football game .. As my husband and I drove for over 1 and a half hours to find out it was already posted on face book that my son was killed and everyone was aware except me driving madly to an accident scene ..my some was loved by many and did no wrong.. If typu google his name the comments tell you you couldn't go wrong knowing billy Waldo... I understand that bad things happen to good people .. My daughter now pays a thousand plus a month to sleep ony couch .. Til she can figure out if she can handle being in her own place. Yet... And I feel this ounbeleivable hole in my chest,,, I can't go into many rooms for too long... The empty and quietness of this house...
-
Permalink Reply by Bianca on
-
Hi Amanda, I relate to everything you just said. And was is so frustrating is that people just dont get it! Are family and friends love us dearly but really dont see to grasp the impact such a loss has had on us. It's like as long as you appear to be doing okay then they actually believe that you're okay. They dont understand the inner turmoil we.are constantly experiencing. I compare it to being tortured, it's an emotional, mental, and at times physical torture. I have to admit, I honestly still can not comprehend what has happened to my husband, to my life. There are no words to even describe the emotions and disbelief. As I know, you understand this well. I truly can hardly bear this pain. And you're right-it doesn't get easier. It's unbelievable. How did we get here.
Groups
-
I miss my Mom!
751 members
-
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
-
Sibling Loss
9 members
-
Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
-
Too Young To Die
17 members
-
Losing a Sister
93 members
-
Multiple Losses Group
324 members
-
Grief Counseling
140 members
-
Zoom Grief Support
39 members
-
Orphaned Adults
80 members
-
Sole Survivors
15 members
-
Losing a sibling
62 members
-
Being the Other Woman/Ot…
43 members
-
Compounded grief with ex…
49 members
-
Lost both parents
12 members
Latest Activity
My husband
"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief
Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Assumptions
An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
© 2024 Created by Ninja.
Powered by
