Michelle W
  • 46, Female
  • Scottsdale, AZ
  • United States
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Shock and anger at the holidays
2 Replies

I think the shock of what has happened is all I can explain..,there is not much you can do to take away the anger and pain... It is very hard to move forward

Started this discussion. Last reply by Michelle W Dec 21, 2011.

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Michelle W's Page

Latest Activity

Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Grace, I agree with you completely... The last dinner we ate together before the accident was Thanksgiving and it also was my daughters eighteen birthday and all night my son kept saying you can have tonight(to my daughter) but after this everyday…"
Mar 24
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Sophia, I completely understand and agree with you..,even when I try to be a big girl and talk about my son people seem put off or uncomfortable and just try to in my opinion run away from me.., my husband will say to me I love to talk about my son…"
Mar 2
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"So, I have had such a long hard week or two I also the tears just come out of nowhere .... Pat, I also just function... I no long sleek to anyone yes they all have moved on... And I just can't forget I love my son he was the most important…"
Mar 1
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hi guys, I have been on for awhile I hope everyone is surviving... Everyday seem to be more difficult in different ways... Somedays I just think I just want to be happy... But I can't and someday days I think please take all this confussion and…"
Feb 10
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Connie, I'm so sorry for all the pain you feel. As parents we spend our whole lives dedicating our lives to our children, what they need , what they want and yes teaching them all the important thing that will keep them happy and safe ..,. Boom…"
Jan 15
Connie Vaughan-Kaplan left a comment for Michelle W
"Thank you so much Michele. I'm still trying to figure out this website and it was so nice to get your reply. Right now we feel so alone and overwhelmed. I don't even have the energy left today to say anything but that I am grateful for the…"
Jan 3
Michelle W and Connie Vaughan-Kaplan are now friends
Jan 3
Michelle W left a comment for Connie Vaughan-Kaplan
"Connie, first of all what a beautiful young man.....I am so sorry to hear about your loss .... To me it is so unreal and painful to say loss it's just a horrible word... My son also loved to make music within weeks of the accident , my son and…"
Jan 3
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Karen, Ammy, I actually try not to look at the teenagers anymore.... We live right next to the high school my son attended and all the kid go over to the grocery store/ strip mall right next to our house so I always saw my son... Everyone looked…"
Jan 2
Connie Vaughan-Kaplan left a comment for Michelle W
"Dear Michele  my son and only child was killed on Dec.1, 2012 as a passenger in a car as well. He was 17 years old. I feel your pain so completely. The driver while I'm sure feeling his own pain, has not apologized or manned up to his…"
Jan 2
Sue Waxman left a comment for Michelle W
"Dear Michelle, You have suffered such a horrible loss. I cannot even imagine how a mother deals with such a loss. My heart aches reading about your son. I am glad to hear your daughter has moved home. That is a comfort I am certain. I will include…"
Jan 2
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Well, I just couldn't even read the writing of all of you that normally would make me feel good but it was just so much this last month, I just got caught up in all the pain and memories..my husband and myself took December off actually we took…"
Jan 2
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Well it has been the most interesting week, my mother in law and sister inlaw came over from California with her child ( who was born ones month before my son was taken from me) so she one they joined us for my daughters birthday dinner at a…"
Nov 30, 2012
Michelle W replied to Teresa R.Hughes's discussion No chance to say goodbye in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Teresa, I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you ..,, my son Billy one year ago today was going with a friend to see their high school playoff game(he was a senior ) on the way home there was a blow out in the road his friend could not…"
Nov 26, 2012
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Ok on Saturday it will be a year ....., do the new thought ... Was I a bad parent to let my child go the the football game with his friend???? It was an hour and a half from the house and it was a playoff game .,,, oh and he had tremendous school…"
Nov 19, 2012
Michelle W commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Yes, I too feel like this is just isn't true and my beautiful boy will walk through the door.. Yes Adrianne, I too am tired it does take so much out of you just surviving., hoping, waiting, crying, being strong,oh and my favorite being…"
Nov 10, 2012

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm Wife and mom . My daugher is nineteen and has moved home to help me...
About my Loss:
On November 26 2011,I lost my 17 year old son in a multiple roll over car accident. He was the passenger , driving with a friend comming back from a state playoff football game. The game was held in a city that was hours away. My son was extremely special to me and those who knew him. He had a very bright future with school and music.

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Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 8:25pm on January 3, 2013, Connie Vaughan-Kaplan said…

Thank you so much Michele. I'm still trying to figure out this website and it was so nice to get your reply. Right now we feel so alone and overwhelmed. I don't even have the energy left today to say anything but that I am grateful for the support of all of you who know this terrible grief and wish you all some peaceful moments when your child's spirit surrounds you.

Connie

At 8:04pm on January 2, 2013, Connie Vaughan-Kaplan said…

Dear Michele

 my son and only child was killed on Dec.1, 2012 as a passenger in a car as well. He was 17 years old. I feel your pain so completely. The driver while I'm sure feeling his own pain, has not apologized or manned up to his actions (speeding,  passing illegally on a wet road - I'm sure he thought he could handle it all). The pain of not having my son, my only child and having to deal with the legal process, anger, guilt, regret, etc etc is overwhelming. I just joined this group and as I look at the pictures of your son I realize he was a musician. So was my son Daniel. My husband and I are both professional musicians and Daniel was always joining in and learning new instruments and well as producing his own music. How I would give anything to hear him again. He was incredibly talented and I miss him so much. I know how devastated you are because I am too. And with no other children, our lives and future seem empty. It is all so unreal. My heart goes out to you.

Connie

At 10:31am on January 2, 2013, Sue Waxman said…

Dear Michelle,

You have suffered such a horrible loss. I cannot even imagine how a mother deals with such a loss. My heart aches reading about your son. I am glad to hear your daughter has moved home. That is a comfort I am certain. I will include you in my thoughts and prayers. This site provides a tremendous amount of support and comfort to me. I hope it does for you as well. There are no answers to the questions you must ask yourself. We never know why someone is taken at the age they are or in the way they were taken from this earth. From us. The reality of living without them physically here is an every day challenge. For me I just know that at any given moment and place I could be next and be reunited with my family in heaven. That's one of the things that keeps me from just giving up on myself and this life. How blessed you were to have such a wonderful son even for a short while. I got pregnant was I was really young and was selfish and had an abortion. I still hate myself for that. I wish I had been more together and had a more stable frame of mind back then. Made better choices. Your son is still your son he is just in another place surrounded by wonderful people and still playing his music. As much as there is good in the world there is evil. Evil created the accident - God wrapped his arms around your son and took him to heaven so that he would not suffer. Sue

At 7:49am on May 24, 2012, Jessica Berninzon said…

GM and hello and im so so sorry for your loss unreal this to me how many of our babies are taken so randomly so unfairly and yes i have Sarah and she is what matters i can not bring amber back matter of fact the other day i looked over at amber's picture and turned it around said to her im so mad at you so angry how could you not listen to us your sister and i begged you to please stop , we asked you did you ever stop to think what it would do to your sister and i if you were to overdose and you took it all as nagging and me being controlling and your sister being the good little girl playing on moms feelings i had this whole conversation with her while Sarah sat on couch watched me then she said im glad you said  that  mom i feel like that at times about her but then feel guilty because shes gone and more guilty because your so so sad so Ty  i don't feel so bad any more ...any how Ty for all the kind words ..talk soon...

At 5:12pm on December 21, 2011, Michelle W said…
Sue, you are right a child and mother have a special 
bond and I'm so sorry for your loss .. My mom just 
came down for the funeral and I tooan close to my mom
so it will be hard for me and yes I do know your pain.. 
my son was half way through his senior year, getting ready t
to go to college and start a spectacular life.. He loved 
everything.. He is all over the web this was not private what 
happened and I have to relive every minute over and over.. 
At this time things are very unbearable... It's like a bad crime movie....
I was so proud of my son Billy he would have been someone
Great as an adult.. He would have been eighteen Sunday ...
May of his friends were there again to pay respect for my son on his birthday..
At 1:15pm on December 21, 2011, Sue Waxman said…

Dear Michelle,

First of all...I am so deeply saddened to hear you have lost your son. Your burden is beyond measurable. Life forever changed. The why's ....there are no answers that we know.

Why your son? If you can possibly take one minute at a time, then one hour...one day...how ever you can do it. When I start to go to a dark place thinking about my mother dying before me...the life leaving her face...I have to tell myself "I can't go there".

The bond between mother and child and child and mother - a bond so special, so strong, just so unbreakable. You lost your child. I lost my mother - she was devoured by cancer.

Loosing a child has to be the hardest. My mother was not 17. She had lived a nice life of 77 years. You have a long painful road ahead Michelle. No one will sugar coat what you have to overcome on the site.

Loss of your job, purchasing a new home...stressful on its own. My heart is very heavy for you right now Michelle. For those of you who have lost children - I have no idea how you can even get out of bed each day. But we all have to. Please accept me as your friend and part of your support system. If you need to talk 941-809-8673. Hugs and Love Sue

 
 
 

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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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3 hours ago
Michelle Hudson commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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Connie Vaughan-Kaplan commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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7 hours ago
anna l. commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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8 hours ago
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