I lost both of my parents within 9 months of each other after caring for both of them through terminal illnesses. I knew ahead of time death would change me but not in the way it actually has. Before my loss I was always going somewhere and doing something. Extremely extroverted, always calling friends, or going to dinner often with friends. Now I find it difficult to even talk to people without feeling panicked or anxiety even people I've known for years.

It's been almost 4 years since my losses started and I know I have PTSD from their care. I wish I could forget some of the awful things I saw happen to my parents. Sometimes I get stuck in a loop thinking about it. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with it. As of now I force myself to be social on occasion but every time I get panicked. I really wish I could get back to the bubbly talkative girl I used to be.

Views: 198

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I have all the symptoms that you describe. Lost my brother right after he lost his wife of 30 years then nearly the day that my brother passed away from a long battle that I was very much a part of helping him every way that I could his youngest son decided to kill himself one year later. I had to tell my mother when she got home from work. PTSD is real. I take meds for it. Talk to your doctor. I still take meds and probably always will until my time is up. Mother left me in charge. Yay me. Zoloft, valium and ambien. As needed. Zoloft daily. I have a whole lot of things that caused the anxiety way before all of my family leaving me here to deal with the people who are left for me to take care of. Not an easy road. For me meds help me cope. I know many do not agree with meds but to each his own. I medicate to keep my sanity. 

My heart goes out to you for your losses. I am on Wellbutrin and was thinking today I will probably always have to be on it. I also take Valium for anxiety. So far for sleep just melatonin, but when I get stuck thinking about cleaning my mother up, or watching my daddy struggle to breath and seeing the fear in his eyes, I'm up for the rest of the night no matter what. It is nice to know that I'm not alone in experiencing this...I hope as I work through my grief I can maybe get close to the person I used to be. For now I just feel orphaned.

I will never be the same again. Just keep trying to do the best I can. Need to get in some exercise routine or something. Due to physical health problems I am limited. I want to get back into shape. Might help with depression too.

It does, I've been walking and hiking,I notice when I don't though. When I walk I get this clarity where I think about it and can sometimes work through some of it for a time.

dad dies ptsd setel fr bit tnh ths yr wot set ot off bean a victm o fcrim wish pls dnt let me tell pele abot bad ebuf had go thru ths wn i had 2 do cps intver abot it 

moms alz/dem getin wors

my slf not bean well neglet my slf  bt evry 1 els 1st

sorry on yotre los/loses 2 my hrds alll ovr plas e it mim mult loss momm bean ill coz of dem/alz

me mest up bean dnt wnt 2 go on sorry

I had bad social anxiety before I met my husband.  Over the years he became my buffer when things got overwhelming.  And with his help, I was eventually able to be out with people, even in crowds without having a panic attack.  I did have to have a few days to prepare and a few days to recover but we found a system that worked.  Now, I start to panic when the phone rings.  I don't want to be the person I was before.  Always afraid, always on the verge of a breakdown.  I want to be the person I was when I was with him.  But all those feelings are coming back 10 times worse than before.  It hasn't even been a month since he died and my doctor wants to wait before putting me on medication.  Sent me to a counselor to see if she can help.

Oh man, that's terrible... I'm with you on this all the way! I can understand why you would feel the anxiety come rushing back. I don't understand why this happens, I went out today and had to take deep breaths to keep the anxiety from hitting. That's helped. My counselor had said for me it's part of depression. The hiding out might be a part of me not facing the issue. Feel free to reach out anytime. Maybe we can help each other!

Thanks, I appreciate it, same to you anytime.  My doctor and counselor both say it's to soon to diagnose me with depression because its part of the grieving process and I could overcome it in time.  My counselor thinks I have ptsd because of the way my husband died and the subsequent events.  But again thinks time and therapy will help me over come it.  Right now it's hard to see me overcoming anything, every day just seems to get worse.

If you think you need something talk to a psychiatrist. They can more effectively diagnose you and better tell if you need an antidepressant are anti anxiety. They can prescribe it. It's such a long Path and it comes in waves, you really never know when it is going to hit.

Thank you so much for  your post.  I know your original post was in Aug but I am just now seeing it.  I am back on this site because I just lost a man I had been dating and although it was not long he had a very Big impact in my life and I saw a great future with him.  He died last weekend after leaving my house.  He died on the freeway going home.  Sudden heart failure.  

I can relate to your post.  I have social anxiety and it is not fun.  I am an extrovert like you and also very bubbly.  I am on a mini vacation with family and we went out last night to a busy restaurant and I had so much anxiety we had to leave.  And today we went to farmers market and I had another one.  

I am sorry for your loss and I am also sorry for  you anxiety.  I hope things are getting better since your original post.  Be well and take care of yourself. 

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
8 hours ago
M Adams left a comment for Jarvis
"Thank you for creating this site, it is a lifeline for many people.  Hope your health is improving every day."
9 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.  Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
14 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all. And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please."
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us…"
yesterday
Profile IconThere are 14187 members on Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Profile Icon13 new members joined during the past week
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, since talking to you last I have been searching for a natural solution to your issue. There are new supplements since I went through this about a year and a half ago, but my best advice would be to talk to your doctor about trying a new…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, I have been reading, going through a tough time with my friend her dog is getting ready to go to the rainbow bridge and that set me into anxiety.  My stomach is flaring up no matter what I eat.  I started to think about my mom…"
yesterday
Profile IconAshley Gatehouse, Maria Allen and Lori Gersbeck joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Lori Gersbeck joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Thumbnail

Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
Friday
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Friday
Crystal Parker posted photos
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. It is very scary. What I do not like the most is the lack of motivation and being so easily fatigued. I am also frustrated with the lack of support from the Doctors. I keep asking it it would be dangerous to increase a certain…"
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I…"
Thursday
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  "
Thursday

© 2018   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service