Last Christmas Eve, my great-aunt and a beloved family member passed away rather suddenly.  She randomly got sick and passed away about 45 minutes later. I was there, holding her hand when she passed away.  I saw the change when it happened, so did another cousin, we both knew it was over; but we did what we could anyway...dialing 911, CPR, the whole she-bang

Anyway, it's been 7 months and I can't move on.  I keep reliving it over and over again, when I close my eyes I see the moment that I knew it was over.  I can't talk to my family either, death is taboo in my family.  it's okay in the fam to mourn and talk about it for the first few weeks, after that it becomes taboo.  You stop talking about the event, generally stop talking about the person, except on memorial day and when a subject comes up that involved the deceased.  If i talk, they'll judge me.

 

I guess I need to ask....is there something wrong with me?  I still cry about once a week over it, and I can't seem to move on...am I just messed up?  I want to move on and seem to be the only person in the fam who can't get over it.  How can I move on after this experience?

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Hi,
You have been through a trauma,you were there when she suddenly passed away,that is different than if you just heard over the phone that she passed away and it will take longer for you to be able to move on.
There is no time table with grief as there is no time table with love.
If you cant talk about it with your family then make friends and talk here,there seem to be alot of nice people here.

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