My name is Susan I am 49 and unmarried. My Mom jsut died yesterday. She was sick for two weeks. I lived with her. I am disabled. I had a problem with depression , and then about 15 years ago developed a chronic illness Called POTS. That kept me from moving out. I was extremely close with my MOM. She helped me get through everything. She was the one person I could count on. She gave me unconditional love at a time when others were jsut blamed me or disbelieved me. She's alwasy been there. SHe's been my best friend and therapist. I've alwasy been terrified of how I could live without her. ANd now it has happened. I'm so scared. I already got comments from the family about how I have to change and get a job etc. I'm trying to get through the hardest thing in my life. ANd that's the support I get? I"m scared. I wasnt support and love not a scolding

I'm scared because I odn't know how or where I will live and the one person I would run to now is gone. I've lost so much already. It hurts so bad and I am scared that people will jsut hurt me.

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Hi Susan, I am pleased you have found this site to chat to others.  This is what helped me when I lost  my Mum in 2010 and my Dad in 2011.  I could chat to people who understood how I felt.  It stopped me feeling so alone and scared.  Marie.x

Thank you . I am glad to hear it has helped you. I hope I can feel the same.

Hi Susan,  I hope you believe in the power of prayer.  Also I dont know about you, but I believe that our loved ones find a way to show us they are still with us.  They send us signs in various ways.  My Mum came to me quite few times in my dreams.  They are not just normal dreams, totally different.  They are still with us, in a different way.  You can read about this online or in books.  Without this knowledge, and experience, I would not have come to terms, even though it did take a few months for me.  When I found this site a few months after losing my Mum  it helped me so much. Also to know that other people had had dream visitations too.  I am thinking of you and will prey for you. Marie. x

I've had dreams where I feel she's there, but I"m not sure what you mean by dream visitations.

Hi Sue,    Dream visitations are when our loved ones actually come to us during our sleep.  So there is a connection.  Lots of people have experienced this.  I did, after I lost my Mum.  They are still close by to us.  I totally believe that. Marie x

That must have been very comforting. I want to believe they are still close by. i wish I knew it. There have been times I have felt that my Dad was nearby. I don't know why, It' s more than thinking about him. I haven't really felt that so much with My Mom unit today when my Aunt hugged me. For a second I closed my eyes and I felt like it was my Mother was hugging me. I know it's because she was her sister and she felt and sounds like her, but for that moment when I thought of it as my Mom it was a nice feeling.

Thank you so much! You are right i think people can not imagine having no control. Your reply helped me today. Thank you. :)

My thoughts and prayers are with you...I lost my beloved mother 1 year ago after caring for her through Alzheimer's for 5 years...I cry as I type this and am not sure it will ever feel less painful. I also have struggled with depression ...of course that is not helping me weather this. I did find a support group through the hospice group that helped care for my mom at the end ...I found the group helpful and supportive but it was only for 4 weeks. Am hoping that by connecting with others in somewhat similar situations I can find and offer support as we try to move forward.
Best wishes to you.
Julie

Thanks Julie,

I have suffered from depression too. I understand. I was looking for a grief support group too. So far I have not found one in my area.At least starting anytime soon. I really don't understand the time limits. It's not like you're going to get over it in 4 to 8 weeks. I could really use the support now too.

Hi Susan. I know exactly how you are feeling. I have learned through this that everyone copes with grief differently and it's hard to understand why. I went through it with my Dad and Sister. I was the one that was ready to jump off a bridge just to be with my Mom and I am the one that cries every single day and most days can't get out of bed where as my Dad and Sister have gone on with their life. I do understand now and I accept that they are going through it in their own way. We are a very close family and my Sister and I were so close to her. Its very difficult on a daily basis not being able to call my best friend, my Mom. I know exactly how you feel and all I can suggest is take this one second at a time, that's all I have been doing. If I think about the future I get very scared and sad so this is the only way I can handle it. I am here for you if you need anything at all. You have just got a new friend. I can talk whenever you need me no matter the time. I am on disability for Crohns Disease so I am home mostly every day and night. I live in New York, Rochester if you have ever heard of it, lol. If you want my phone number you just let me know. You are def in my prayers and thoughts. I'm not sure if you have thought about seeing a grief counselor or not. I see a Psychologist every week and he has helped me and I take Pedal to for depression and Clonazepam for anxiety. I want my Mom back just like you and everyday it's a fight. This is something we will never get over, it's something that we learn to deal with, the pain never goes awsy, it might subside but it's still there. So please try and find peace and know that your Mom loves you with all her heart and soul and I can bet you she is r ight there with you. Just talk to hear as if she is here and tell her everything. I truly believe that Heaven is home and when you finish all your lessons here in earth you graduate and you get to go home. This is just temporary and heaven is forever. So try and remember that at some point in your life you will be reunited with your mom, all your animals and you will never ever have to be away from them again. You will be able to be with them for an eternity. This is what keeps me going. One last thing I saw a Medium and so did my Sister and let me tell you your was life changing for us and it brought me so much peace. If you do decide to take that route make sure it's a credible Medium and make sure to only give your first name and that's it. During the reading just answer yes or no unless and I mean unless the Medium needs you to elaborate on something but that's it. Well I hope I helped you somewhat and please feel free to correspond anytimeveith me. God Bless and remember Mom is right next to you right now and always. Take care. ❤Renee

Thank you Renee. That means a lot. I wonder myself whether she's around. Some times when I cry I do talk to her a little. Like One day, I just called her when I was upset. Cause that's what I would normally do, and it felt good just to say, Mom? Come here a minute. ;)

I thought of seeing a Medium because my was interested in that. She went to one a few times. And we both used to watch Ghost Whisperer and Medium.

 I know they're just fantasy shows for fun, but the fact that she liked those things, that she had a little belief in it herself, made me think maybe I'd try seeing a Medium at some point.

Thanks for your words. They mean a lot right now.

Hi Susan, I'm sorry to hear about your Mom.  This grief is so hard.  I lost my Mom in October of 2014, and I still hurt and cry everyday.  It gets a little better, but not much.

My Mom was my best friend too... and I am so sad without.  My heart breaks every day.  I guess we are the lucky ones that we had them in our lives.

I'm really sorry for you loss. 

Jane

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