Life just jinds of sucks upon sucks upon sucks. Monday was the 4 month anniversary of my husband passing. I managed to make it to work (only .5 miles away ). Then when I went to get him from the afternoon but stop (then tke him to work to do homework the entire 30 minutes we're there I got into a car accident in the parking lot! It had been raining and roads slick, couple that with closing your eyes when you yawn and it's an en=motional day...). So the cios were clled to the scene, I handed the guys my license and insurance card and asked him if it would be ok if I raj down the street to get my son- he was aboiut to day yea=s h=but the female clucking swuad came outside, ni idea who we are or what;s going on talling him I'm just rying to flee the scene and ithey weren't here I probobasbly epu;d have succeedd and don't believe anything I say cause it's probsbky a lie(ever heared if u got so kajy iss
Hey Vic, thanks so much for the kind words. Yesterday was a lot harder than I thought. I was doing fine. Then I saw that picture on Facebook. It's like that with me. I can be going through the day all right. Then see something that reminds me of Karla or Mom. It will get my mind to racing. Then no matter what I do. I can't escape all the sorrow that comes over me. Just have to ride it out until it passes. I have certain things that I avoid doing. Like her perfume. If I dare take a wiff. It will send me reeling. Karla kept a diary of her daily thoughts and cancer treatments. What she was eating. That kind of thing. She was a very good writer. Could put her feeling into words. Most of it is in maybe 5 or 6 big spiral note books. To read one page of any one, will tear my heart out. The one or two pages I read once. Just about killed me. So much of it is about us. She abbreviated as R+I. I thumbed through a little. They are filled with R+I. Even seeing them is so painful. I'm not going to through them out. I have them put up. Out of sight. All kinds of triggers that I hope to one day be able to deal with better. I don't know if that day will ever come.
thank you fir your kind words. We were/are young but we still ha 14.5 years (12.5 married) together. He was the second msn I'd ever dated: the ine before that lasted 2 months, then he dumped me on Friday and ,et my husnamd on Sun at work (funny thing is neither if us usua;;y worked on Sunday) so that was God truly putting us in each other's path.
Anyway, even with my faith I know I will be with him again one day (and he'll be apin free- so it's veryexceiting to think about)
The Lord will put us together in His time. Until then I will just miss him (trying to death to replace al of the bad memories with the good)and figure out my purpose for this life and do my best to fulfill it.
You are very welcome. Anything I can do for you, even just being an ear and a shoulder I am hear for you. I knows it's a very hard time- but a least ya'll had some time in this world- my husband diead at 32 and I am going through this at 31- definatly not how I pictured spending my 30s. :(
Anyway- I am always here, even with an open ear and understanding heart.
Vic, I completely understand I lost my husband just in October and my stomach gets in knots too (I had to get some anxiety medication to help). That is our bodies reaction to loss*our bodies are of this world). Even though I am going through this physically I do have relief knowing that my husband is in Heaven and in no more pain (he suffered a lot in life). We don't know why God does what he does or puts us through what he does, but he has his purpose, even if we won't know it until we are in Heaven ourselves. I know it's hard with the pain and physical reaction God will never put more on us than we can handle even if we don't feel it. I hope this helps. I hope you have a good day and can go quickly through the journey of grief.
Vic, I believe I do understand what its like. I loved my wife with all my heart. She was perfect for me. I had planned to spend the rest of my life with her. We were planning a early retirement. Purchase a camper. Travel several months out of the year. Now all down the drain. I am sending you a friend request. I would like to know more about you and what happened. If you care to talk about it
Hi Vic, I am very sorry for your loss.Your loss is still very new. I am glade to hear that you are working. Keeping busy is helpful. The loss of a spouse is probably the most difficult thing one can endure. One of the most important things you must do is take care if yourself. You must force yourself to eat right, try get plenty of rest. You have been wounded. Your decision making ability compromised. Try and take it moment by moment. Day by day. I Lost my wife February 2013. Almost 2 years ago now. I live alone too. Except for 2 cats. I still have crying spells. Still struggle with my grief. I also lost my sweet Mom, last July. Both suffered greatly before they died. The memeroiers of that haut me. You certainly are not alone in what has happened to you. You will find lots of people here that are in the same pain that you are experiencing. Believe me they understand. Stick around. Reach out get to know some. We might be separated by great distances. But we are so close in grief. I will keep you in my prayers.
"i had a dream of my dad and i. he held me / hugged me and i held him back. it made me feel so safe and happy. he nor i spoke. i do remember saying something in my mind, something along the lines of "i am so glad you're here." /…"
During the tragic loss of a loved one or having gone through several tragedies , be it death of a loved one, divorce , personal health issues, or getting older , ect. Sometimes the stress and depression compounded by grief can be debilitating and it may have us feel as if we are mourning our own deaths while we are grieving the loss of our loved ones , We feel as if our own lives are over , Being in this mode can make recovery a longer more confusing process for some. It can be uncomfortable to…See More
I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More