Sorry Kim--it took me along time to respond. I am at the Microsoft Store learning more about computers. Just wanted to let you know that 11/5/13 was a bad day for me too! That is when my boyfriend had his 1st stroke.Strange--isn't it!

Kim, Early on after my daughter died, I told her boys that the only way I could believe that people could survive such a death was because people had survived it before. I was acquainted with a family that had lost a child, well acquainted. I had offered them sympathy, even given them money to help with medical expenses during the illness.  But I truly had no idea what they felt until I felt it myself.  It's a terrible group to belong to.

Early after her death I read a lot about grief and I know that it is different for each person, and that is perfectly natural -- I just want to be able to appear to be normal and functioning, as I am the guardian of my daughter's younger son and I need to convince him he can have a happy and whole life -- but that's hard to do when I am not having a happy and whole life. My grandson is 19 and in college. His older brother is 26 and a firefighter. The older boy doesn't seem to have struggled as much as the younger one, but I think that can be explained by the fact that he deals with life and death matters every day and knows he is making an important contribution, doing something his mom was really proud of.

I am glad to be your friend!

Kim, I am so very sorry for your loss. It's always hard to see another parent join this site, but you will find support here.  I also lost my son one month after his 41st birthday.  That was July 14, 2010.  I know how hard this journey is to travel but just try to keep taking those steps forward one at a time.  You can make it through, but you will always have a missing piece; and I think that is as it should be because it confirms our love for our child.
Wishing you gentler days.