It's been almost 3 and a half years since I lost the love of my life. In that time, I moved my parents in with me, because I owed them so much. Last year, my 91 year old Pops told me"happy birthday" 6 days before my birthday and the day the docs were sending him to the nursing home.....the last thing he said to me. Now, my mom is terrified that she is going to die in the heart surgery that she has scheduled for Friday.  Hey, I'm terrified as well.  I did karaoke as a side line, because I need to express myself, and there are many  songs that call to my heart.

Something hit me tonight; horribly. I watched the new "A Star Is Born", and  I have 5 more songs I want to sing.

I have been a caregiver for  the  last 5 years...and I'm tired.  My daughter and grandson have been an amazing force to keep me going, but I was forced to change my career, and have lost much faith in my fellow human beings.

I realize that my grief is affecting my life,  but I have reached a place of acceptance that probably isn't good for me. I appreciate the community...and I  could understand entirely why you wouldn't want to move on...I was there...but I did move forward. There were  too many people in my life that depended on me.But now, after facing all the trauma that I have and will......I understand some of you more. 

What the F is the purpose??? ESPECIALLY when you have lost all your purpose???????

Thank God for music....."Everything's Gonna Be Alright"

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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Danny. I hear you.  December will be 4 years "
14 hours ago
Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Great reply Sandra"
15 hours ago
Danny updated their profile
15 hours ago
Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
15 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wonderful Avi!!!  "
16 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Amen, Avi."
20 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks all. This group is my extended family. "
20 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her."
yesterday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am so happy for you & your family.  I am glad your daughter had a great birthday!  That first birthday is always special.  Take care, "
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I…"
yesterday
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Tuesday
Judy Pugh left a comment for Kevin's Mom
"You are still Kevin’s mom, and you always will be. NOTHING, not even death, can change that. I don’t know what your beliefs are, and I’m not trying to shove my beliefs onto you. I just want you to know that I truly believe this is…"
Aug 10
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Teresa D. the line is "Mama  don't you cry for me, I'm sailing in eternity..." Makes me feel emotional and happy that it resonates with you and that you remember it. <3"
Aug 9
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Kevin's mom I am so terribly sorry for your devastating loss. I lost my only child as well - Daniel - at age 17. That was 6 and a half years ago. I can't tell you how i made it through, but I have, one day at a time sometimes one minute at…"
Aug 9
Gale Brunault commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son. Why do bad things happen to good people? We may never find the answers.......please know that you are not alone. "
Aug 9
Holycow updated their profile
Aug 9
Kevin's Mom commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I lost my 32 yr old son, my only child, on July 10 2019. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. My heart is shattered and my life will never be the same. This is life's most cruel event."
Aug 9
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