I know that when you look at the things I’ve posted here that, there are not many posts about Jeremy or any of the other five loved ones I lost in that 2 year period of time. There’s an explanation for that, and I’m going to let y’all know what’s going on with that.

Growing up, my parents did not tell me certain things about life, for example, Jeremy had to explain to me how to know when my bowels were finished moving, but that should’ve come from my parents. However, it did not. My wonderfully constructed husband even taught me what certain phrases meant. For example, I didn’t know what, “throwing up the past”, meant. Y’all I find it a severe miscarriage to the sanctity of motherhood that my husband (who’s 6 years younger than me), had to tell me things that my parents should’ve.

After the accident, I spoke of Jeremy a lot, I couldn’t help it, but the horrible reality was, no one wanted to talk with me about that beautiful huaman being. In the first year, my heart was broken by so many different people because of their own grieving over Jeremy, however, I wasn’t “aware of the fact that they were grieving”. The reason for that is, in my mind, the only other person alive who had a “right to grieve” Jeremy “more than me”, was his mother. 

My train of thought in that first year was, self-destructive, at best. I now realize the errors in my thinking, and that why certain things in this post are in parethesis.

Anyway, since no one wanted to talk about Jeremy, I vowed to stop “throwing up the past”, and hopefully not talking about him will allow his soul to rest peacefully. I’m not sure what happened to his soul when it left this physical world, but wherever he is, it’s a far cry better than being here because at least my soulmate is no longer suffering.

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