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Comment by MarieSte on March 24, 2015 at 5:19pm

•  Valerie, I'm so sorry. My boyfriend was 45 when he died of organ failure quite suddenly. I'm 49 too. Ste was also my soulmate and best friend. The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not "get over" the loss of your husband; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to be. You will get through it with baby steps at your own pace. Everyone's journey is unique and only you can decide what's right for you and which path to take. By using this site you will know you are not alone. Others will be able to relate to your loss. I have been able to move forward with baby steps by expressing my grief through writing and also with the knowledge that my boyfriends spirit and love will be with me forever. He has sent me signs that he now sees through my eyes and he puts thoughts in my head. He helps me write my poems as I never wrote before his death. It's still hard as I still miss him so much but somehow I have learned to live with the pain. Bless you on your journey. Here is an article I wrote to shed a little light on your new path.There is also a link to my poems on here. My poems are my journey since last July I hope they may help a little-Hugs-

  MarieSte http://thegrieftoolbox.com/article/grief-journey-what-pack

  http://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/photo/photo/slideshow?feed_url=ht...

Comment by Valerie on March 11, 2015 at 8:06am

Trina,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it hurts so bad. It seems Roger, myself and you have all lost our true loves, at a young age and expected and wanted many more years with them. Although I know people that were married even longer, it's just as difficult I'm sure. Hang in there, I will pray for you and maybe we should/could all prayer for each other. This is not fair, and is so painful at times, I think it is going to do me in. Keep in touch with us, add us as a friend if you' d like. We can at the very least not feel so alone in all of this. 
I hope you have some peace today. Thinking of you. 
Valerie

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 8, 2015 at 7:31pm

Hello Valerie and Robert,

I am deeply sorry for your loss; my heart goes out to you. I can completely relate to both of you: my husband Joseph was 49 years old when he lost his battle to lung cancer last August. Like for the two of you, Joseph and I deeply loved each other and we considered ourselves very lucky to have found one another. We have no children, so our lives revolved completely around each other, we were as close as two people can be. Reading your stories and stories of other bereaved spouses, I have come to the conclusion, that true happiness is short-lived. People who love each other with all their souls and beings, are those who cannot be together for a long time. Other couples who are not so close and maybe even don't love each other so much go on to share married life for 50 or more years. I have seen that many times. It's just how things are. Human beings are not meant to enjoy too much happiness in their lives. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. May we find peace at some point in the near future.

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 8, 2015 at 4:57pm

sorry for yore loss 2 valerie 

had loss non stop dad died 2012 thn loss non stop 2013 los non stop 2014 loss non stop its 2015 but i m mot happy coz im terfired of loss in 2015 coz iv had so mush loss in lst 2 or 3 yrs i am

sorry if im rant 2 mush i am

Comment by Marsha on March 8, 2015 at 3:49pm

Hi Valerie,

I'm sorry for your loss. I recently lost my husband as well.  We were together for 32 years and even though we knew the end was near, it was still upsetting. He was 65 years old and suffered from COPD.  I know how you feel about crying when you are alone. I cry nights and weekends too. I'm crying right now. I have family and friends who have been very supportive but it's still so hard to deal with. It's so hard to be without someone who was so important in your life. Feel free to reach out and know you are not alone.

Comment by Anne Dabalos on March 8, 2015 at 2:21pm

Hi Valero. Thanks for the kind words.. Yeah it socks losing a loved one.Paul was my best friend too.. The loneliness is just so scary at times... I am thankful I found this community with people who share the same pain and dilemma. Yes, let's help each other cope.. If u need anything even a friend to listen I'll be here.

Comment by Valerie on March 8, 2015 at 11:21am

I'm so sorry for your lost Robert. She was so young. We had the rest of our lives planned too. I don't understand it. So, young...both your wife and my husband. I'm sure you miss her terrilbly, I miss my husband so much, it can be hard to breat at times. Please feel free to write and share you experiences with me. We are sadly all in this together. I'm sure she loved you so much. So sorry, Robert.
Valerie

Comment by Roger on March 8, 2015 at 10:49am

Hi Valerie,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife 2 years ago. After a long fight with breast cancer. She was 50. We were together 15 years. She was the sweetest person. I loved her so very much. We were so happy that we had found each other. We had the rest of our life all plamned. A early retirement. Time to enjoy the things we both liked. Gardening, traveling. She was everything I ever wanted. We believed that we were soul mates. Just enjoyed being together. She would tell me sometimes. I can't belive such a wonderful man wanted to marry me. I would come right back with something like. Any man would be a fool not to want to marry you. Now that she's gone. I am struggling. Just as you. The memeroiers both good and bad are always playing in my mind. I am sad and lonely all the time. I do have faith in God. Believe in the Bible and it's teaching. So I hang on to the Bible's promise that we will be together again. I am trying to live my life to pleasing to God. Being with Karla again is all that's important to me now. Nothing could ever fill the void her being gone has left me with. I understand the pain that you are feeling. This is a very good froum for people like us that are experiencing extreme grief. It is comforting to know that others too have lost their purpose in life. That you are not alone in the way you feel. Stick around. Let's help each other.